Ok, I am giving it a go

So Windows would be a drink that you could drink out of any mug, glass, or even your hat. It would taste good, be very mixable with any alcohol, and a lot of folks were drinking it so you could share your with them and vice-versa. Even your boss would give you some at work, but it would endlessly attract horse flies, lice, dung beetles, and army ants. So you would have to buy lots of bug repellants, and roach motels. And then after about two or so years just when you got used to your drink they would change it and you would have to buy a new mug that could hold the new drink and you hear from some people that the new drink plant had an infestation of all kinds of incests and some may be in your drink.
Apple would be a really cheap drink that would taste exactly like what you wanted at that moment and would almost never go bad. It would have bug repellants already in the mix and the ads for this drink are just to funny but to buy this drink you would have to buy a really cool but very expensive and very fragile mug and when it broke it would cost almost as much as a new mug it to get it fixed.
And Linux would be ....Kool-Aid
