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Spare the rod, spoil the child


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sdc's Avatar
sdc
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13-Sep-2003, 11:34 AM #1
Spare the rod, spoil the child
I was driving home and there was two girls probably 10 or 11 walking down the middle of the road
when I came up on them they would not move, so I said out my window, get out of the road now!

I heard more profanity than you could imagine and I actually thought they were going to try to take me on!

What is wrong with kids today? Kids everywhere being very rude ect.

If I acted the way these kids do now , I would have been restricted for a month and my arse would get kicked, and as far as disrespecting my parents. NO WAY!!!

I feel that it was a good upbringing and taught me respect.
I am not talking about abuse by parents , that is something else beyond punishment and not good.

so what do you think?

Is the ways kids are acting a direct result of this or is it bad parenting? or both?

I knew kids that grew up and were never punished by spankings, but were restricted and scolded and they are good people. So two ways to look at it?

Last edited by sdc : 13-Sep-2003 12:42 PM.
Wino's Avatar
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13-Sep-2003, 11:57 AM #2
All I can do is speak for myself. Corporal punish didn't work on me, I'm still incorrigible!!
sdc's Avatar
sdc
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13-Sep-2003, 11:58 AM #3


Yah, I am not mouthy or?
lisaa7002's Avatar
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13-Sep-2003, 11:54 PM #4
wow! I can't believe there is not more intrest in this post! Or possibly ppl to shy to step up & give opinion.
Personally I think kids just don't get any attention from there parents. Mostly because the mothers are having to work nowadays.
It's frightening to know that my babies are out amoung these kids who have been fed a steady diet of vulgarity & violence at home & out in the world.
We need to get a grip on things before they start killing each other again....
sdc's Avatar
sdc
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14-Sep-2003, 12:10 AM #5
Ah A Person with a Vision
How refreshing is that?
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Jonesiegirl
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14-Sep-2003, 12:13 AM #6
sdc...

You're only looking at the girls' reaction, and yes, they reacted... I feel that your words to them were bossy and harsh. Which immediately put them on the defensive.

Quote:
so I said out my window, get out of the road now!
Don't you think that something like... "Excuse me ladies, but the middle of the road isn't the best place to be walking... you might get hurt..." would have brought you a better result?

You didn't show them any respect... so you basically got none in return.
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14-Sep-2003, 12:43 AM #7
Don't we wish! That probably would have got the same reaction!
I think generaly that anyone stupid enough to be walking in the middle of the road when there is traffic isn't going to be the type to respond positively to a polite suggestion. Although it never hurts to try!!!! Lead by example & all that.
But u gotta admit they we're figuratively flipping him off... They new he was there & were showing him " I can do what I want & you can't do anything about it." What do you want to bet that that is the attitude there parents get at home????
I remember my best friend in school told me that once her mom had smacked her butt for something ( she admits it was a very minor smack) but she yelled " abuse!!!!" so her mom pulled her out onto the front porch in front of God & everybody & REALLY smacked her butt!
You can't BEAT your kids, it's not right. But I don't think a smack on the butt ever killed anyone. It's just too hard to draw a line. & so very hard to watch out for the little ones who's parents don't know there IS a line.....
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14-Sep-2003, 12:57 AM #8
How is it that the girls were walking in the middle of the road, in traffic? Did I miss that part?
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14-Sep-2003, 01:24 AM #9
I like the part if ya were to hit one of them, there parents would have ya in court faster that you can say court.
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14-Sep-2003, 09:58 AM #10
"Hit" is too harsh a word; I like to use the term "gently nudge."
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14-Sep-2003, 12:13 PM #11
I just said " when there is traffic" (sdc was it) traffic can mean one or more cars. I just meant they KNEW he was there & were obviously were just screwing with him. I didn't say he couldn't have been nice I just said that unfortunatly I didn't think it would have changed things.
It's a lack of resect for other humans. I'm not even talking respect for your elders... You're walking down the road & a car comes up behind you.. wouldn't a normal, reasonable person move? - just for pure safety reasons? There was already something not quite right when he came up on them & they didn't move.
Of course they were just kids, & maybe his being polite would have taught them something, but I just think the purpose of this post was to point out that kids AREN'T being taught these lessons at home or anywhere else. They are getting to the point that they think they can do whatever they want because they parents are afraid to correct them, or the parents aren't there to correct them , or just don't care.
Tell me that at age ten YOU didn't know not to walk in the middle of the road?
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sdc
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14-Sep-2003, 12:23 PM #12
Yah good points Lisaa
these girls were walking down a street, not a busy street but walking down the middle of the road and would not move! Looking at me like they would kick my butt.

Jonesie made a great point, maybe I should have not said it that way!

But these girls were looking for a fight and they sounded like 10 year old rappers, yo yo


I have noticed alot of bad and disrespectfull attitudes from young people now!

this is wrong and Lisaa, you are very right by your assumptions as far as I am concerned
What would a full grown woman do in this situation, especially if they became combative? Maybe a woman would have handled these girls alittle differently

I thought that I did pretty well, but I wanted to take them to there parents house and tell them, but how would that look?


So I drove off in total disbelief and disgust

Last edited by sdc : 14-Sep-2003 12:31 PM.
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15-Sep-2003, 07:49 AM #13
Quote:
Originally posted by sdc:
But these girls were looking for a fight and they sounded like 10 year old rappers, yo yo
Or 10 year old rockers. Or 10 year old movie stars. Or 10 year old parents. Or 10 year old adults. Or 10 year old entertainers, etc.,etc. The problem is our society! We accept more and more vulgarity/profanity/violence within our society and then we expect our children not to pick up on these things? Twenty years ago you couldnt say @$$ on television/radio, now you can say worse. You can see more nudity on TV than in a strip club (not that I would know). Parenting has gone down the drain! More and more families have both of the parents working, (if there are even two parents present) and when the kids are home, who are raising them...TV? Kids are exposed to all sorts of things nowadays. I believe respect in yourself and respect towards others begin in the home! Parents need to set a good example. No cursing around the kids (try to stop it all together). No exposure to certain television programs. Give your child certain responsibilities. Both parents need to be on the same sheet of music. If you tell your kids there will be a consequence for their bad actions, stick to it. Talk to your kids about what to do and not to do....and if they do what they ought not to do, then you should do what you must do.
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15-Sep-2003, 08:28 AM #14
Quote:
You're only looking at the girls' reaction, and yes, they reacted... I feel that your words to them were bossy and harsh. Which immediately put them on the defensive.

Don't you think that something like... "Excuse me ladies, but the middle of the road isn't the best place to be walking... you might get hurt..." would have brought you a better result?

You didn't show them any respect... so you basically got none in return.
Since when do you have to kiss the @sses of anyone (regardless of their age) that is stupid and arrogant enough to walk in the middle of the road, despite the fact that a car is approaching?

There have always been, and will always be, arrogrant, thoughtless punk kids. It is a fact of life.

When I was young, we used to throw old mushy clementines at passing cars and buses. If someone had pulled up beside me and said "Now son, don't you think that throwing those, maybe isn't such a great idea? Someone could get hurt." We would've pelted him with more clementines.

Now, if he pulled up and threatened to beat us so badly that they'd need to pull our dental records just to identify the bodies, well, we'd have dropped the produce and ran for our lives (getting chased was part of the thrill).

Point being; Just because we've had this politically-correct, Dr. Phil, group hug, take-a-time-out attitude thrust upon us by legions of motivational speakers and so-called "parenting experts", doesn't mean that adults need to suck-up to children or try to earn their respect when they've done something wrong.

One of the privelleges of being and adult is that kids have to accept (deep down inside) that you know more than them, and therefore, you don't need to "earn" their respect.

Same with seniors....once they pass 65, they're automatically allowed to bore you with pointless stories that they've already told you a million times before, and you HAVE to listen and feign interest. It's just the way the world works.

P.S. - SDC, Next time, try leaning on the horn, while yelling something incomprehensible and shaking your fist.
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Last edited by columbo : 15-Sep-2003 08:34 AM.
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15-Sep-2003, 08:49 AM #15
Hi

Quote:
Originally posted by Sarge:
Or 10 year old rockers. Or 10 year old movie stars. Or 10 year old parents. Or 10 year old adults. Or 10 year old entertainers, etc.,etc. The problem is our society!
I don't think age is a factor. The behaviour displayed could be at any age. An adult - even. The problem is with us, as parents, I think.

We love our children and we think we are taking them seriously but we are not. We are not teaching them to think for themselves.

The following is proof if it:

Quote:
No exposure to certain television programs. Give your child certain responsibilities. Both parents need to be on the same sheet of music. If you tell your kids there will be a consequence for their bad actions, stick to it. Talk to your kids about what to do and not to do....and if they do what they ought not to do, then you should do what you must do.
Would you treat a spouse or a friend or anyone else that you respected and loved this way? How does bringing them up this way teach them to think for themselves?

Quote:
One of the privelleges of being and adult is that kids have to accept (deep down inside) that you know more than them, and therefore, you don't need to "earn" their respect.
We may know more than them, so why not tell them what it is that we know. Children are able to think rationally. Surely we can persuade them with reason rather than with brawn.

I think our role as parents should be as a trusted advisor. Like a trusted lawyer, stockbroker, doctor, etc. Tell the children what we think and why. Rationally explain consequences ( not *our* consequences but how *others* might respond) and alternatives - always realizing and accepting that the final decision of what they do and how they behave is left to them. When their decision is made, support them and help them get what they want. Respect that they must live their own lives the way *they* think their lives should be lived. We've lived ours and it is quite unfair to the children to impose our mistakes and irrationalities on them.

I think a child brought up this way would not be walking and cursing in the middle of the road unless they had darn good reason. :-)

Damsel
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