[Chris A]

Dan Rather, Jesse Jackson, Cokie Roberts from National Public Radio and a
Marine were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured by terrorists .

They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the chief.

The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the

condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you,
do you have any last requests?"

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot, spicy chili."
The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chili.
Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of is
my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to
sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time." The chief said, "Go right ahead,
we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die in peace."

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape
recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe
someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job til the end."
The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts
dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The chief said, "And, Mr. Marine, what is your final wish?"
"Kick me in the ***." said the Marine.
"What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ***." insisted the Marine.
So the chief untied the Marine, shoved him into the open, and kicked him
in the ***. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a
9mm pistol from his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting
confusion, he leapt to his haversack, pulled out an M16, and sprayed the
terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, the terrorists were all dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying the others, they each asked him, "Why didn't you
just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ***?"

"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you assholes call ME the aggressor?!?"