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Democrat and Republican Schedules Announced


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angelize56's Avatar
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23-Jul-2004, 03:50 PM #1
Talking Democrat and Republican Schedules Announced
Democratic National Convention Schedule

Boston, Massachusetts

6:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
6:00 PM - Secular Prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton
6:30 PM - Antiwar Concert by Barbara Streisand
6:40 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
7:00 PM - Tribute Theme to France
7:10 PM - Collect Offerings for al-Zawahri Defense Fund
7:25 PM - Tribute Theme to Germany
7:45 PM - Antiwar Rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:25 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
8:30 PM - Terrorist Appeasement Workshop
9:00 PM - Roundtable Discussion of Taxes: "Calling for Higher Taxes on Others While You Pay None"
9:15 PM - Bill & Hillary Clinton Host a Seminar on "The Successful Selling of White House & Air Force One Mementos on eBay"
9:20 PM - Gay Marriage Ceremony (Both Male and Female Couples)
9:30 PM - * Intermission * Special Guest Soloist Jane Fonda
10:00 PM - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
10:10 PM - Reenactment of Kerry's Fake Medal Toss
10:20 PM - Howard Dean Screamfest 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:30 PM - Seminar: "The Boy Scouts and Other Paramilitary threats to National Security"
10:40 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
10:45 PM - Abortion Demonstration (NARAL)
10:50 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
11:00 PM - Multiple Gay Marriage Ceremony (Threesomes, Mixed and Same-Sex)
11:15 PM - 'Maximizing Welfare' Workshop
11:30 PM - 'Free Saddam' Pep Rally
11:50 PM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
12:00 AM - Kerry-Edwards 2004 Sealed With A Kiss
12:01 AM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast
12:02 AM - Ted Kennedy Proposes a Toast

Republican National Convention Schedule

New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
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23-Jul-2004, 04:50 PM #2
Those are funny!
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23-Jul-2004, 05:21 PM #3
Hi Sparky

Those are very funny ___


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26-Jul-2004, 03:14 PM #4


"The Kerry campaign said that John Kerry will show his softer side at the convention. You already see him and Edwards fondling each other. What, are they going to be spooning now?" —Jay Leno

"During the Democratic Convention next week Bill Clinton is scheduled to host a policy briefing at the Wang Theater. Don't they see what his is leading to? That's like the Republicans putting Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Hooters restaurant." —Jay Leno

"The Democratic National Convention gets under way this week in Boston, which is tragically preparing for its turn at the national stage. By the way all the security isn't to keep people out -- it's to keep people in during Hillary's speech." —Craig Kilborn

"Security's going to be tight at the Republican convention. You'll be frisked, patted down, you'll be groped — and that's just by Arnold" —David Letterman
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26-Jul-2004, 03:19 PM #5
You mean to tell me no President has had an official Beer Bong before?! Now THAT is un-constitutional.
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27-Jul-2004, 04:04 PM #6
Linda Ronstadt wasn't invited

Oh, and just in case anyone cares:



H. J. Heinz Company Reaffirms Non-Partisan Status; Attests Flagship Ketchup is All-American

Pittsburgh, PA, July 14, 2004 - In light of misleading reports, H.J. Heinz Company (NYSE:HNZ) reiterated today that neither Teresa Heinz Kerry, Senator John Kerry nor any of the Heinz trusts or endowments, either individually or collectively, holds a significant percentage of H.J. Heinz Company shares. Heinz also attests that Heinz® Tomato Ketchup sold in the United States is all-American - made at U.S. facilities in Fremont, Ohio; Muscatine, Iowa; and Stockton, California. (CLICK HERE to see video on the making of America's Favorite Ketchup™.) There is only one exception: an extremely small number of specialty Ketchup packages are filled at its Heinz Canada factory in Leamington, Ontario, north of Detroit (about 35 miles from the border).

"Heinz Ketchup is a non-partisan condiment that simply stands for great taste. It's enjoyed by Republicans, Democrats and Independents," said Debbie Foster, vice president of corporate communications for H.J. Heinz Company. "Heinz has been the favorite of Americans across the political spectrum for 135 years, and we have no intention of engaging in a political food fight now."

H.J. Heinz Company, in accordance with its corporate governance policies, is a non-partisan organization. Neither Teresa Heinz Kerry, Senator John Kerry nor any member of their family is involved in the management or board of the H.J. Heinz Company, the Heinz® Ketchup business or any of the company's other brands or products. Furthermore, there is no connection between any philanthropic programs of H.J. Heinz Company and its Foundation and the Heinz family interests (including the Howard Heinz Endowment, the Vira Heinz Endowment, and the Heinz Family Philanthropies). In 1995 the Heinz Endowments and family trusts sold a large percentage of Heinz shares in a secondary share offering to diversify their holdings. As a result, their current holdings are under 4 percent.

With respect to serving customers worldwide, H.J. Heinz Company maintains a number of overseas facilities that provide products for consumers in those markets. This allows the company to pack the freshest ingredients, tailor its recipes to local tastes and deliver the final products in a timely and efficient manner. Currently, 60% of company sales are outside of the United States.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


As befits a global consumer products company with thousands of employees in the United States and around the world, the Heinz Company is non-partisan and politically independent. The Heinz Company PAC, which is funded by voluntary employee donations, has a policy of maintaining good relations with both major political parties, particularly focusing on those candidates whose district or state contains a Heinz facility. Over the past seven years, the Heinz Company PAC has contributed $96,000 to Republican candidates and $54,000 to Democratic candidates, largely reflecting the party affiliation of the candidates representing the states where we have facilities.

The practice of the Heinz Company PAC in the U.S. Presidential election is to support the nominated candidate from both major parties. Accordingly, the PAC donated $5,000 to the Bush campaign and, because the Kerry campaign does not accept PAC contributions, is donating $5,000 to the Democratic National Committee.

Heinz management and employees represent a variety of political perspectives and have personally donated to different causes and candidates on an individual basis. Simply put, the Heinz Company makes quality nutritious foods and is not politically affiliated.
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27-Jul-2004, 04:53 PM #7
Can't wait to see Kerry wearing his Woody Allen sperm outfit at the convention .
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