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teen age boy older woman sex harmful?


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MightyQueenC's Avatar
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18-Aug-2004, 11:17 AM #31
Quote:
Originally Posted by plschwartz
I think carolyn that to be fair you have to separate out the "psychological effects" if any and the effects of breaking current societal norms. You bring adultry and keeping secrets from your mother. Well each of us as teenagers chose to share what we will with our parents. If does seem to bother you greatly so how can you independently judge what you son truely feels. I do hope you you won't say "he tells me everything
) And adultry and sneakin around is not uncommon at any age.
If there were not the great fear of getting back to the school and the parents I am sure most teenage boys would be delighted to share this with their peers.

I do not believe in legislating morality as this which is what at stake here. Whats right between two people is whats right between two people. Though this obviously involves the ability to give informed consent
The age of consent for sex varies greatly from state to state and country to country see http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm. Does that mean that the children are different or that societies are different?
Sorry missed this post
OK, maybe I haven't thought this thing through enough (for the civil debate room....scarey as a newbie). And I always sucked at defending my side.
No, my son (I am certain) does not tell me everything...no "normal" teen does, me thinks. And I keep "secrets" from my parents, even now, as an almost 47 year old adult! What's up with that?
I don't really understand why in one state/country age of consent is different for another/country state. That just dumbfounds me. I guess I am having a difficult time seperating the "psychological effects" and breaking social norm. I seemed to have gone from promiscuity to ultra-prudeness...in my ethical and moral thinking, anyways. Perhaps it's the "being a mother factor".

Carolyn
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18-Aug-2004, 11:34 AM #32
Quote:
Originally Posted by WarC
Unless the kid hadn't hit puberty yet, or the woman was actually sexually abusing him, I don't see how it would be harmful.
and what about her husband? Do you suppose he agrees with you?

Thats only one of the harmful consequences that is a result of this woman's crime.

Lets remember:
Quote:
About Statutory Rape

Sexual assault exists within a context of exploitation of another, whereas sexuality occurs between two people who share mutual respect and intimacy. Sexuality can exist only with acknowledgment of personhood. Statutory rape is based on manipulation and exploitation of the victim, not respect and intimacy.
This woman committed a crime. Defending her actions as "harmless" is wrong.
MightyQueenC's Avatar
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18-Aug-2004, 11:39 AM #33
Quote:
Originally Posted by plschwartz
Two difererent answers
1. for above if there is strong societal pressure against such activity then the result of bucking the pressure can cause a bunch of problems. Not the activity per se.

2. I also don't ant to run with this But if you had a problem say a rash and your solution was to scratch it and the rash spread was this spread caused by the scratching or by whatever caused the rash in the first place.
You suggest there was a damaged relationship with a parent which "caused " you sexual behavior.(A) But then further problems(C) are attributed to the sexual behavior (B)when of course (A) was not solved.
My question simply was if B did not occur would C not have happened or does A often cause C with or without B
OMG This looks like math, which I also suck at.
Let's see:

Societal pressures: I don't factor this in, I don't think. There is just something inside (intuition?) that's tells you "This doesn't feel right".
Oprah Winfrey would know what I mean...

If I had had a good relationship with my father...the inappriopriate behavior by the male adult(s) would have been reported, by me, to my father. When I finally did tell my parents about it when I was in my mid 20's, they did not support me in reporting to police/school board as too much time had passed. I was told to "get over it".

If the inappropriate behavior by the adult(s) towards me had never happened, I may have looked for male approval in ways other than impressing them with sex.

Okies. I am drained (maybe because it's getting too personal).

I will pick this up again, another day.
Thanks for letting me participate and thanks for your comments, too WarC

Peace

Carolyn
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18-Aug-2004, 11:42 AM #34
I think that Muldur has been on the internet for so many hours and has attended to the needs of wifey-----Muldur--that woman isn't going to go out with a a paunchy middle-class man like yourself--attend to your gorgeous, albeit aging wife!
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18-Aug-2004, 11:46 AM #35
Quote:
Originally Posted by mightyqueenc
...snip... And I keep "secrets" from my parents, even now, as an almost 47 year old adult! What's up with that?
HA! That is interesting, in how we all do that... protection of ourselves I guess.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mightyqueenc
I don't really understand why in one state/country age of consent is different for another/country state. That just dumbfounds me.
Due to the beauty of this country of having separate but joined States, States' rights, independence, etc. I agree, that is ridiculus - a human is a human w/ same capacity, no matter what state/country they are living in. Almost as goofy situation is how different taxation is from state to state... makes life interesting tho'...

Quote:
Originally Posted by mightyqueenc
I guess I am having a difficult time seperating the "psychological effects" and breaking social norm. I seemed to have gone from promiscuity to ultra-prudeness...in my ethical and moral thinking, anyways. Perhaps it's the "being a mother factor".
Carolyn
As a dad, I can understand and agree with that! However, being a dad of boys, its slightly different - cause if I had daughter(s), there would be HELL to pay for any slight digression... by her or any potential boyfriend, after she turned 30 or so...
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18-Aug-2004, 11:48 AM #36
Quote:
Originally Posted by sligo
I think that Muldur has been on the internet for so many hours and has attended to the needs of wifey-----Muldur--that woman isn't going to go out with a a paunchy middle-class man like yourself--attend to your gorgeous, albeit aging wife!
You just don't know when to quit do you? Like a dog with a frisbee, just don't want to let go.
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18-Aug-2004, 11:59 AM #37
MSM Hobbes...

Just an add-on then I have to split!

I am a single mom to 3 boys (no girls..thank you the powers that be, or I'd be a total basket-case!)
I am trying my darnest to raise my boys into men who will respect and value women, not just as things they can have. They are also "domestic gods" in training. LOL
I want their wives to thank me, one day to raising them right.

The challenging thing these days, for me anyways, is the girls they do know...OMG! ....ready to give it up at the drop of hat! MY middle son was asked by a little girl, if he wanted to "mess around" in grade 3!!

Have a great day everyone!

Carolyn
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18-Aug-2004, 12:40 PM #38
Quote:
Originally Posted by valley
and what about her husband? Do you suppose he agrees with you?

Thats only one of the harmful consequences that is a result of this woman's crime.

Lets remember:


This woman committed a crime. Defending her actions as "harmless" is wrong.
I thought it was pretty obvious I was saying this from the boy's standpoint, I pretty much clarified that as well...

If we look at all parties involved, of course harm was done.

The kid is 15, he isn't a retard. He wasn't "manipulated". I wasn't a moron when I was 15, I wanted and drove for sex just like every other 15 year old boy does. It's an animal instinct.
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18-Aug-2004, 01:05 PM #39
Zorba the Greek says:
There is only one crime -when a woman invites you to her bed and you do not go !!

De Dah De Dah
izme's Avatar
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18-Aug-2004, 01:11 PM #40
One thing I wonder about is

Is she considered a child molester? I never hear that phrase used with female pedophiles

we had Mary Kay latourno here, no one ever said she was actually a pedophile. Kind of strange, really

is it the same?

I think it is, and it is probably considered that but I never here that term when women are the baby rapers
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18-Aug-2004, 01:16 PM #41
Quote:
Originally Posted by izme
One thing I wonder about is

Is she considered a child molester? I never hear that phrase used with female pedophiles

we had Mary Kay latourno here, no one ever said she was actually a pedophile. Kind of strange, really

is it the same?

I think it is, and it is probably considered that but I never here that term when women are the baby rapers
Apparently she is , if she wasn't what was she in jail for ?
izme's Avatar
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18-Aug-2004, 01:20 PM #42
I know that but they don't have that same stigma of being a sick pedophile, no one follows them when they move etc. right?

it seems to be more acceptable in some sort of way

The law see's it as a crime.

Still, I never here the Child molester term.

it just seems different to me, and it's not
Pacalis's Avatar
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18-Aug-2004, 01:26 PM #43
This is one instance where the tables seem to be turned. Somehow we have some idea that women abusing male children is not the same as a man abusing a female child. After all , aren't boys supposed to like it any way ??
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18-Aug-2004, 01:37 PM #44
Quote:
It brings to mind that woman who has now had 2 babies from the boy she had an "affair" with, somewhere in the States (just released from jail, I think). Isn't her (original) family pretty messed up, now?
Carolyn: That'd be Mary Kay Laterno....her conquest was 12 years old when they started having sex. What a proud moment it must have been for her! Now she and the boy who is now 21 are reuniting...she has two kids with him. Being the kid's teacher she should have known better...his being 12 she should have known better! While I'd rather my 15 year old teen son hold off on having sex...if he is tempted...I'd prefer he stay away from adult women! Cradle snatchers. Take care. angel
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18-Aug-2004, 01:38 PM #45
Fishy: Mary Kay has to register as a sex offender.
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