[Dru2000D]

Hi Guys,

I have not read any of the other debates in this section, so I have come in here completely blinkered from everybody's views!

The reason for this particular debate is, my mother got divorced from my father back in 1993. She met her now husband when he was working for a close friend of her's kebab shop (don't laugh!).

He was on a temporary VISA in this country and had to leave 6 months later. Whilst he was back in his own country (Tunisia, mainly a Muslim community), my mother visited regularly, spending an absolute fortune and neglecting her present family, myself, my brother and sister.

Over a few months they 2got to "know each other" and decided to tie the knot abroad in Tunisia. All the time, they were planning to bring him back to Britain as my new "Father".

When he was given a temporary VISA after the marriage, he became obsessed with drink and started to become ever increasingly violent toward my mother. Of course I did not intervene as I was only a child (14).

Boxing Day of 1995, my stepfather decided it was time to celebrate (as he had done for the past year and a half) by drinking half his body weight in lager. This of course led to him being argumentative, progressing to violence. My mother was obviously in pain, he came toward myself as I had to run out of the house to alert police as he had ripped the telephone wire from the wall.

As a result of that incident, my mother had a heart attack and was diagnosed as having a faulty valve. Obviously we had no choice but to ask him to leave and never return.

Two years on, my mother and myself have moved to the south coast, I was given the opportunity to attend college and my mum was happy (or so I thought) leading her life as she should have.

Low and behold, my down and out stepfather turns up out of the blue from the bar across the street full cut with drink.

After half an hour of him trying to kick the flat door in the police arrive to arrest him for Breach of the Peace. This is one mark on his criminal record.

He managed to brainwash my mother into seeing him again. As a result of this, my mother took him back. I realise this is a common thing regarding domestic violence.

I will not bore you with the countless happenings of the next few years of abuse.

I will however mention the time I took my now fiance to meet my mother for the first time. It was a 21st birthday celebration, so we had been to a club and were still extremely sensible when returning home. I did not expect my stepfather to kick off the way he did. I did not want to add fuel to the fire (as I have done in the past by giving exactly what he had given to my mother) and so left the flat and went for a walk with my friend and fiance.

When we finally turned round the corner to the front of the flat, there were 2 ambulances at the front door. Instinctively I ran toward the flat and up the stairs to the landing, where there was my mum lying on the ground covered in blood.

Truth emerged from others who were present, that he had punched her so hard, it had knocked her chair backward. She suffered another heart attack.

As before, she took him back. God only knows why.

By now, there have been around 6 occasions where he has been arrested for things such as GBH, harming others, harming himself, breach of the peace, theft. Not to mention the amount of nights he has spent down the cells "sleeping it off".

The ******* had the audacity to request residency in this country. Because of his colourful past, no lawyer in London would touch the case. My mother took it upon herself to represent him. After it being refused, and him appealing, he was finally granted residency!!!!

My fiance and myself are expecting a child in March. How is my mother going to feel when we have to refuse her looking after him/her when he is in the vicinity? I would not leave my wallet with 20p in around him, let alone a helpless child!!!

Now the point of this is, if he can gain residency with all that he has done to so many people that I care about, what is to say that Osama Bin Laden isn't already in this country opening a chain of retail outlets????

[Dru2000D]

I kind of proved a point with this thread.

All people seem to do is want to argue about wether Britain is better than America. All I can say is we're both as bad as each other, just on a different scale.

All arguements based in the majority of these posts seem to be based on the past, facts about past wars, inventions.

Who cares?? What we are here for and what we should be focussing on is the present and the future!!

Who cares which war america was involved in (Vietnam), and who cares who invented the telephone (which causes nothing but debt these days with rogue diallers and national rate customer services numbers).

What we need to be focussing on is the politics of today, the illegal immigrants, and legal immigrants that are brainwashing our views on our own cultures (Abu Hamza), the muderers, rapists, thiefs, and child molestors. The terrorists that are stripping us of human dignity by making us afraid and suspicious of any stranger.

Our society is no longer one of neighbourly, but of fear and hate.

Wether you live in the U.S or in Britain...even Wales...We are in western society now, sharing morals and values to ensure our children, our childrens children grow up and live a life of happiness, without fear or prejudice.

I have no alternative but to blame greedy, tax hungry, schemeing, hard-faced polititions. (oh, I bought a brand new Mercedes, you impressed???)

[Ciberblade]

I have seen the pattern more than I care to recall. You are correct in keeping the child from the possible harm (physical and emotional). Her only recourse would be that of acceptance, for it will be your child and raised the way you see fit. I wish you the best of luck with that. With time, hopefully all will come to realize it was for the best. Sometimes it takes a firm stand to start the wheels of change.

and welcome to the dungeon Dru

[Dru2000D]

Thank you CiberBlade!

I become angered by our courts of law who allow animals like my stepfather to stay in this country. He was at one point sectioned under the mental health act, this was disregarded by British law and the Home Office.

My mum wont have a choice to accept. I only feel bad for our unborn child that he/she will not have a chance to get to know its biological family "properly".

This sort of monster should be deported to a country that doesnt even want him (his own).

This coming from a 22 year old, not a model citizen.

[angelize56]

Dru: Welcome to TSG. What a terrible experience you've been through! It's a shame your Mom doesn't leave this man and for good...I worry what he'll do to her next! I don't blame you a bit for wanting to keep your baby-to-be away from him! He sounds so monstrous! I'm not even sure you should take the baby to your Mom's place...make her come to yours or meet you somewhere else...especially if he is around...you never know what else this man may be capable of! I wish you could protect your Mom....but at least you can protect your fiancee and your future baby from him! Best of luck in this situation...and congrats on your baby-to-be! Take care! angel

[Ciberblade]

I agree, and believe it to be the lesser of two evils.

[Ciberblade]

Dru ~ you mentioned OBL, and I have held a view on this ever since the satellite bag phone confirmed his position in the caverns of the norther mountain region -- the one that reached a room temperature of approx 5000 degrees. I do not believe him to be alive, that theory statistically becomes increasingly probable the more time passes.

[Dru2000D]

Just wanna say hi to Angelize and Ciberblaze!

Thanks for all your good wishes upon myself, fiance and child-to-be!!!

At present trying to decorate to buy a larger place...nightmare!!!

The main reason for me moving home was the fact that after three months, my mum had been without him. After seeing him at the flat, I did kick the living s**t out of him which did make me feel better, but left me with plaster casts on both my hands, my stepdad with a broken nose and jaw, but still a relationship which I could not dissolve.

Maybe a grandchild may make her realise....

[Dru2000D]

Ciber,

I hope the b*****d is dead! I know there are alot of views upon America, however I saw the attrosity of 9/11 live and can honestly say that nothing has sickened me more than what I saw that day.

Both America and Britain lost patrons. I hope that we are more together than against each other more than anything. Not fussed about the other posts here bantering about the U.S and Britain. Fantastic, we are working in unison to bring the world together!!!

[Ciberblade]

Lots of people still view this problem with an 'its not us' mentality. This is truly the worlds problem, kind of like cancer, and only together will we solve it.

[angelize56]

Dru: I sent you an email....

[Dru2000D]

thats the problem!

Women who are stuck with domestic violence dont want other people to be involved. Especially when it comes to immigration issues. Oooh it may ruin someones life if we say "they kicked the s**t out of me, get em out!!!". Instead they say "It was nothing, a simple arguement, I love him.".

If I ever even thought about hitting my Karen, I would be beating myself up inside!!! If I ever did, I would be in turmoil and stay by myself for the rest of my life!!!

[Dru2000D]

Hi angelize,

I got your e-mail. Thanks for that I'll follow the rules more closely now. I apologise if I have caused any offence to anyone! (regarding censored words)

[angelize56]

You didn't offend anyone....I just knew you didn't know what Candy had posted and since you''re so nice I thought I'd let you know!