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how to deal with Cruel people 1


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roy1928 roy1928 is offline
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10-Dec-2004, 06:54 PM #1
how to deal with Cruel people 1
Cruel people get their power from the way we respond to their pressure.

Our life is in danger from people, especially members of our own family, who chip away, harp, nag and aggravate the life out of us, until we feel like killing them or our self.

WE CANNOT FIGHT THEM WITH RESENTMENT, because they use are resentment to drive us up the wall with fear and guilt, and terrify us into submission.

Take heart. There is not a single problem that we cannot solve if we will learn to be patient.

We are the sum total of our experiences. Another way of saying this is that we are burdened by our past. Unless we learn to respond properly in the present, we build upon that past. And without self-control, that is the only future we have to look forward to.
Respond wrongly to pressure just one time—and what upsets us, gets to us. And we will go on responding slavishly until we find the truth that makes us free.

We are not alone in our dilemma. The wrong emotional reaction to various pressures is making everyone sick and depressed, and driving people into conflict with themselves. Trying to solve the pressure-caused conflicts, many turn to consciousness-reducing drink, tobacco and drugs, legal and illegal.

Our reactions, becoming compulsive, are a subtle form of obedience. But emotional obedience is a form of slavery. Behind the relentless pressures that people apply (sometimes in the name of God and good), is a selfish motive that compels us to sin. Because of our reactions, we are thrown out of control and so we can’t live are own life. That is the reason why we feel sick and depressed.

Most of our sexual, family and business problems arise directly from our failing to respond in a right way to what is wrong, and I might add, taking it out on our loved ones. Conflict with oneself now becomes conflict with others.

Most of the things that are wrong with our life, our marriage, our health, our children, can be resolved by discovering how to control our emotions.

Our emotional upsets have literally turned us upside-down. Even though we were technically correct in what we said or did, if we did it resentfully, our emotions backfired and confused us and as we began to doubt our self, conflict, depression and fear grew.

Emotion has destroyed our objectivity, and, failing to see clearly, we have made terrible errors of judgment. This, in turn, led to a fear of making decisions, so that perhaps we began to look too much to others for guidance, and we know how upsetting it can be if they happen to be wrong or take advantage of us.

We must learn how to be patient with selfish and thoughtless people. We must learn to be poised and calm; otherwise, what is wrong in them shows up in us and makes us look like the bad guy. Everyone is so fascinated with what went wrong with us that they fail to see what they did wrong to us, and that becomes another upsetting, frustrating and scary experience.

Cruel, unthinking people feed off the way we respond to their needling; they walk away self-righteous and satisfied, leaving us frustrated, confused, revengeful and depressed. They get their power from are reaction, while our resentment often makes us feel like the guilty one.

"Successful" domineering, (unprincipled) people drain us and make our life wretched; they can always be sure of getting through to our subconscious mind through our reaction to their pressure.

Dehumanizing pressure to achieve and to study is changing people into animals—animals out of control, in mortal conflict with others.

OF COURSE WE ALL RESPOND TO PRESSURE—BUT THAT RESPONSE IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH US.

Home and school pressures are alienating young people, creating monster rebel animals and delinquents, driving them to drugs, murder and suicide.

Our emotions compel us to respond more and mores as an animal, less as a real person and everything we think, feel, do or say will only bring on more trouble, conflict, fear and despair.

We must learn to cope with pressures. If we can do that, if we can put the emphasis where it belongs—on standing for principles, finding patience and self-control—we can stave off disaster.

The way we pressure and react to pressure is the cause of all suffering. Learn to be patient before it is too late.
Upsetting us is the key to motivating us. Our emotional upset is the hidden reason behind all our conflict and suffering.

Winning through intimidation is a common practice among spoiled and unscrupulous motivators. No doubt you have your own private dictator currently aggravating the life out of you.

Through the shock of emotional upset, a compelling or morbid suggestion can be planted in our subconscious mind, and this is especially true with the emotion of resentment. If it doesn’t cause wild and senseless rebellion, we find are self obliged to give in to ease the pain that the pressure of wrong resistance causes. Our life becomes a weary struggle against subliminal suggestions.

Giving in to please tyrants who reward weakness is a common but unhealthy form of love, loyalty, and closeness between husband and wife, mother and child, and between churches and their believers. (It also happens to be the way to lose our identity.)

It is hard to say "no" to pushy, irritating people. We tend to favour people who apply pressure— our boss, or our wife—and we spoil our kids. When the breaking point is reached, there comes a rebellion against work and study; debilitating disease and nervous breakdown take their deadly toll.

Reaction to stress is our weakness— our Achilles’ heel. All heartless, cruel, power-hungry, unprincipled people inherit the know-how to make our emotions work for them, and they have no qualms about casting us aside after we are used and broken.

The world is dominated by tyrants, teasers, and psychopaths. Some of them get us through cruelty, while other types manipulate us with a holier-than-thou, irritating "kindness." They might use both methods to confuse us, being mean to us one moment and being "kind" the next.

Their bold, unprincipled manner upsets us, and because our resentment is the wrong way for a human being to deal with others, we feel guilty. Suddenly changing roles and becoming "nice," they can intensify our guilt feelings and make us doubt our self. In that manner we are made to believe that they were right all along, and that we were wrong. And so we learn to go along with their wishes; we find our self doing things we would never have done in

our right mind, and that upsets us all over again. This vicious cycle, with a built-in upset factor, repeats itself endlessly, until we feel like killing them or our self.

Human beings were never designed to be externally motivated as animals, but because of a little understood ego-weakness, we are. That is the main reason why we all have paralyzing conflicts, anxieties and fears; that is the basis of all our problems, right there. Until we discover the secret of turning our self on from what you realize is right deep down in your heart, you will always be an externalized zombie, compelled to act against our own better

judgment, hurting people we love and doing things for which we are sorry later.

Being upset is a conditioned reflex; it is an inferior way of reacting to pressure. It is why we feel so inferior, helpless and angry.

What if we could learn to look injustice straight in the eye without flinching, patiently, calmly and with endless endurance? Surely we would not have the problems of repressing or expressing resentment.

I know what we want. We want relief from our nervous tension and guilt feelings. We want solutions to our sex problems and family problems. We want to stop smoking, drinking and overeating; we want happiness. But we will never find what we are seeking until we discover the hidden cause of our trouble, and that cause is allowing people to upset us too easily.

Surely emotional self-control is the key we are seeking. Our very life depends upon responding in a right way to what is wrong with people.

Our main line of defence (and attack) is to stay calm and patient. Seeing us unmoved, the motivator’s tactics backfire on him; he becomes upset, loses his power and panics. Put up an impenetrable, invisible force shield of patience that lets the good come through and stops the ugly world from getting in and growing up inside to control our destiny.

By Roy Masters
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10-Dec-2004, 07:22 PM #2
Are you Roy Masters ?
I found a similiar post here:
http://www.worldfitness.com/showthread.php?t=2378

Found Roy Masters' website here:
http://www.fhu.com/index01.php

Are you going to spam us


Anyway......a belated welcome to TSG ............



smilin' Jack Stone
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10-Dec-2004, 11:50 PM #3
Hiya Smilin' Jack!
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10-Dec-2004, 11:56 PM #4
"how to deal with Cruel people 1"

Is this the beginning of a series?
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11-Dec-2004, 12:16 AM #5
If this is Roy Masters, forget it. If not, I truly sympathize with you if you have experienced cruelty!!
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11-Dec-2004, 01:16 AM #6
SPAMMER TALIBAN

I beleive Smilin' Jack is right and this is spam!
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11-Dec-2004, 07:28 AM #7
Mornin' Sparky

Can I call 'em or what?

Guess we'll just have to show RM some 'tough love' .........._
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11-Dec-2004, 07:30 AM #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by ciberblade
"how to deal with Cruel people 1"

Is this the beginning of a series?
Well.........he came to the right place........................_



LOL!..............
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11-Dec-2004, 11:53 AM #9
How to deal with cruel people???? You be nice to them at all costs and treat them like a member of your family.
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11-Dec-2004, 06:14 PM #10
Welcome to TSG!

That is a very Buddhist response style.

I call learning to "Act on a situation" vs. re-acting to one.
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11-Dec-2004, 07:16 PM #11
its more then buddist. it is how christians and muslems are to be in their lifes also
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12-Dec-2004, 03:36 AM #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by buddhafabio
its more then buddist. it is how christians and muslems are to be in their lifes also
So it is written, but is it so practiced?
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12-Dec-2004, 10:46 AM #13
its how i lead my life now( for the past three months atleast) so as far as i am concirened that is all that matters. i realize i cannot change the world but i can do what i can to make it a better place. its a shame it is tanking way faster then i can improve it.

i wish every one can lead a life like a bassett hound not a care in the world but when to eat and sleep.
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15-Dec-2004, 03:20 PM #14
As Baba dom Rass said "BE Here Now."

There is only now. The past and future are only ways of talking. Think about it. There is only Now. Right now. Be conscious now about what you're doing Now.

There's a neat story about two Buddhist monks coming to a small river where they meet a young woman who is afraid to get her dress wet. Chi Li picks her up and carries her across. Then Chi Li and his companion went on there way. Ten miles later his companion Ma Chu said: "Chi Li, do you think that it was wise to carry that young woman across the stream?"
"What? Are you still back at the river?"
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15-Dec-2004, 03:30 PM #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by xico
As Baba dom Rass said "BE Here Now."

There is only now. The past and future are only ways of talking. Think about it. There is only Now. Right now. Be conscious now about what you're doing Now.

There's a neat story about two Buddhist monks coming to a small river where they meet a young woman who is afraid to get her dress wet. Chi Li picks her up and carries her across. Then Chi Li and his companion went on there way. Ten miles later his companion Ma Chu said: "Chi Li, do you think that it was wise to carry that young woman across the stream?"
"What? Are you still back at the river?"
I heard that same story with a slightly different ending!

"... I put the woman down back at the river, but you are still carrying her"!
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