[Mulderator]

Okay, I thought it would be fun and productive to discuss what we see as faults in ourselves--this can hopefully bridge a gap between those of us that are always butting heads with each other ahem-- ***coughLinskycough*** .

Okay, starting with Mulder.

I see my faults as very rigid in my belief systems--often reluctant to see any other points of view although not completely impossible to convince me I am wrong if you do it in a logical manner with real facts to support your position. I also am very competetive which means I don't like to lose at anything, which often causes me to go balls out in a debate. I'm pi$$ed right now because my 14 year old daughter is finally able to beat me at Fusbol!!!

I resort too often to attacking the credibility of the person (not the person directly) because of course that is how lawyers attack witnesses. Contrary to television, it is very difficult to prove someone is lying or distorting--especially expert witnesses who are much better informed on their particular topic so we lawyers use a collateral attack--that is we attack the credibility of a witness--make him/her look like an idiot so that their opinion carries no weight. A good example of this is the way the defense in the OJ trial attacked Mark Firman for his use of the "N" word--they made him look like a person no one wanted to be like and therefore, no one gave his opinions any creedence--didn't matter whether he did a good job or a bad job. Conversely, the way the prosecution attacked the expert in the Peterson trial recently was unusual--you don't often see an expert fall apart on the stand because they are so used to testifying--I was very surprised by that. But I digress here.

I don't see myself as arrogant and conceited as some people do. I play around alot--the Mulder persona--but in real life, I have my fair share of insecurities about myself just like we all do, although I generally have an advantage because I learned awhile ago to recognize my faults--very important because if you accept your faults, it is much easier to avoid them getting you in trouble--you accentuate your strengths, but I believe far more important to recognize your faults. I've noticed that many people are reluctant to recognize faults in themselves even though we all have them. As a result, they do nothing to correct them.

Hopefully, some of you will take a look at your own faults and this will help you to get along better here at TSG.

So, there you have it. Feel free to comment about me if you want, but I would like to see some self reflection--ahem***coughlinsky****

[DiSaidSo]

Wow Mulder. You OK? You need some tea or somethin? Maybe you should get that cough checked out by a doctor.

Hm....faults.....me.....hmmmm.....this is tricky, you see. This thread is a double-edged sword. You want to do it to foster a friendlier CivDeb, but it can also be a way to show your enemies what your weaknesses are. I know this isn't a war or anything, but if I say I hate being called stupid, well next time someone wants to set me off, all they have to do is insult my intelligence. Just like in Back to the Future when Marty goes off when he's called a chicken.

But OK, my fault would be....my sparkling personality tends to intimidate some people. Which is another way of saying that I foster diplomacy more than debate. Maybe that's why I spend so much time in Random....hm...this is truly a thread to make you think.

[LANMaster]

I used to think I was conceited, but that would be a character flaw, and that doesn't sound like me at all.





Okay, okay.

I smoke & drink, and would like to abort my 19 year old son retroactively.

[Mulderator]

Originally Posted by DiSaidSo

Wow Mulder. You OK? You need some tea or somethin? Maybe you should get that cough checked out by a doctor.

Hm....faults.....me.....hmmmm.....this is tricky, you see. This thread is a double-edged sword. You want to do it to foster a friendlier CivDeb, but it can also be a way to show your enemies what your weaknesses are. I know this isn't a war or anything, but if I say I hate being called stupid, well next time someone wants to set me off, all they have to do is insult my intelligence. Just like in Back to the Future when Marty goes off when he's called a chicken.

But OK, my fault would be....my sparkling personality tends to intimidate some people. Which is another way of saying that I foster diplomacy more than debate. Maybe that's why I spend so much time in Random....hm...this is truly a thread to make you think.

Nope--not good enough. I ask that question in interviews all the time (what do you think your weaknesses are?). Of course, most people give the same type of answers--"I work too hard", "I'm too career oriented", etc.--stuff they think you want to hear but you know damn well those aren't weaknesses. Very few people will actually give you an honest answer to that question because they never thought about it.

A sparkling personality and fostering diplomacy are NOT a weak points! You need to get more honest DI!

[iltos]

Originally Posted by LANMaster

I smoke & drink, and would like to abort my 19 year old son retroactively.

LOL.... ....this is the funniest statement i've heard in a long time....all the more so because its so damn honest (almost )

[Mulderator]

Originally Posted by LANMaster

I used to think I was conceited, but that would be a character flaw, and that doesn't sound like me at all.





Okay, okay.

I smoke & drink, and would like to abort my 19 year old son retroactively.

Another strike out. Smoking and drinking are vices, not character flaws or weaknesses. And difficulty with a teenage child is not a weakness. Try again Lan!!!

[Mulderator]

Ok, another weak point I just thought of that is related to the competetivness. I can be very childish at times--like Tim the Toolman Taylor--beating my chest in obvious victory over a "disposed of" opponent (usually Linsky!)!

Now I can tell you though that I am not the only one guilty of this--I've seen this male testosterone behavior out of quite a few of our members here!

[LANMaster]

My greatest weakness is my unwillingness to share my weaknesses with those who I consider close.

HA!

Sounds like you were serious, Chris, so I will bow out and let you carry on.

[MightyQueenC]

This is a very interesting thread, Mulder.
Thanks for starting it.
Is what follows a character flaw or a fault? I dunno but I don't like having it at all.
I feel like I'm back on the shrink's' couch though...

I have way too many faults to list here (nor do I want to admit to all of them ) but the one that causes me (and others) the most grief are:

I have a very, very, very long fuse, but when it finally blows ~ look out.
Example:
This past few days has been a struggle for me and I'm letting my emotions and frustrations get the better of me. I had an accident before Christmas and am in conciderable pain. I asked my lads (14, 13 and 11) to please help me around the house and make me a cup of tea, occasionally. We're going out of town to see my parents for the day, Thursday and I really wanted to come home to a clean house. It's not getting done. Dishes are piled in and out of the sink. All the laundry was done (4 loads by me) and I asked them to put theirs away (leave mine to me). I went to their area of the apartment this morning and all the clean clothes (including mine) are either stuffed and totally wrinkled into the laundry baskets or strewn on the floor (amidst the dog hair that has not been vaccumed up). I walked back to the computer and stewed. Listened to some music to soothe me. I settled down and asked the 14 year old to make me a cup of tea. Still waiting after 4 hours and umteen reminders, practically begging. Finally I made it myself but first broke (on purpose after selecting one I didn't like much) a mug into the kitchen sink ~ to let them know I was angry. I also said I might just cancel the trip if they can't get their blankety-blank together PDQ. Of course I won't as I already bought the bus tickets and can't throw away $200 just like that. When this kinda thing happens, I more often than not, just do the job myself, because I just hate nagging at them to get moving. I also hate shouting (at anyone, ever). I refuse to hit them into getting mobile. I gave them all of yesterday and the day before, to play their new games and see friends, on the condition that they help me today. I felt like they owed me or something. I forget that they are kids but come on...
I have more to type but that's all I feel like sharing with you all for now.

Here at TSG, I will try to keep my fuse in check and when irritated by a post, will try my darnedest to click the big X in the red box, on the top right corner of the page.

Carolyn < clicks send before she chickens out but is pretty sure she won't feel much better for having confessed to one of her "f'"s, unlike the shrink's couch confessions

[jimi]

ok chris here ya go and this applies to you also, i tend to read/hear what i want to, to support my side/opinion of any given situation/debate and then at times will need to re-think if i did indeed interpret what was said/written as the other party may have meant something differently, since most statements/opinions can be taken with more than one meaning. of course with the spoken word tone/inflection give us another tool to decide what was meant but, hey i'm human even that i get wrong - RARELY

[valley]

I think self-examination is a great idea, Mully. I was surprised to see you admit so much. Didnt know you had it in ya!

Me, I am also rigid in my beliefs. It takes a lot to convince me to believe otherwise, but it has been done.

I tend to poke into areas that people dont want to talk about and fail to see the warning signs when they are getting angry.

I think I come off as arrogant in my beliefs, even though I dont mean to. I am not sure how to change that part of me.

I sometimes flirt when I shouldnt and pretend that I dont know I am doing it. Then I feel guilty.

I tend to ignore the people who mean the most to me.

I let people treat me badly.

I dont have a very good sense of self-worth (even though I am a confident woman, in general).

I trust people more than I should.

I sometimes lose patience with my kids and yell at them for no good reason.

I take things out on Carl when I'm stressed out.

I binge on chocolate until I get sick sometimes

I am too competetive.

I am too serious sometimes.

I am not serious enough sometimes.

I complain too much about my in-laws.

I'm sure there's plenty more if I dig deep enough.

[hotskates]

I'm just too sensitive..........is that a weakness? I rarely post opinions in civ debate because I don't like controversy. I love a good debate, but don't like the way I feel when people get rude and personal with some of the remarks that are made. Its supposed to be "civilized" right? I'm a happy, easygoing people pleaser..........simply put, I'm a lover not a fighter

[valley]

Originally Posted by hotskates

simply put, I'm a lover not a fighter

this is definitely not a character flaw, hottie *hugs*

[valley]

Gbrumb...I expect to see a post from you. If you dont make it, I'd be happy to make one for you.

[Mulderator]

Originally Posted by valley

Me, I am also rigid in my beliefs.

Noooo! Who would have guessed it?