[bassetman]

Pastor Paul Revere was counseling a group of married men. He looked them over and ordered, "All men who are dominated by their wives, please step to the left. All those who are bosses in their own homes, step to the right."

The line quickly formed to the left. Only one man stepped to the right. Paul looked at the wimpy man standing by himself and inquired, "What makes you think you belong on that side?"

Without hesitation, the timid man explained, "Because this is where my wife told me to stand."

[~Candy~]

[~Candy~]

Why is this under civilized debate

[bassetman]

Originally Posted by AcaCandy

Why is this under civilized debate

I thought you were married, therefore would understand that!

[Ciberblade]

Advice?

Think about it like a good network connection

BM ~

[~Candy~]

Originally Posted by bassetman

I thought you were married, therefore would understand that!

Lol

If I have to debate, usually it's not going to be very civilized

[bassetman]

Originally Posted by AcaCandy

Lol

If I have to debate, usually it's not going to be very civilized

My point exactly!

[Mulderator]

Techguy's not going to fall into the usual marital traps of domination by the wife--Mulder will see to that! In fact, when I get a chance, I'm going to tell Heather the way it's suppossed to be--do Mike a favor right off the bat!

PS--I'm talking intellectual domination here--Mrs. Mulder can dominate Mulder all she wants in the sack!

[bassetman]

Originally Posted by Mulder

Techguy's not going to fall into the usual marital traps of domination by the wife--Mulder will see to that! In fact, when I get a chance, I'm going to tell Heather the way it's suppossed to be--do Mike a favor right off the bat!

PS--I'm talking intellectual domination here--Mrs. Mulder can dominate Mulder all she wants in the sack!

Are you sure your wife will let you Mulder?

[Guyzer]

Originally Posted by bassetman

wimpy

Did you really have to use the word wimpy?

[bassetman]

Originally Posted by Wimpy369

Did you really have to use the word wimpy?

Sorry!

[Surreal2]

Just trying to be helpful


Words That Women Use

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.


FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.


NOTHING
This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means, "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". The "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" is followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement that means she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay," means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised
Eyebrow".

GO AHEAD
This means that at some point in the near future, you are going to be in some Mighty Big Trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever feeble excuse you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "You're welcome".

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" - she will only tell you "Nothing".

[bassetman]

Hehe!

[little den]

Or after 10yrs there's this:

WIFE:
What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND:
Definitely not!

WIFE:
Why not - don't you like being married?

HUSBAND:
Of course I do.

WIFE:
Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND:
Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE:
You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND:
(makes audible groan).


WIFE:
Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND:
Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE:
Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND:
Where else would we sleep?


WIFE:
Would you let her drive my car?


HUSBAND:
Probably, it is almost new.

WIFE:
Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND:
That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE:
Would she use my golf clubs?

HUSBAND:
No, she's left-handed.

WIFE:
* silence - -

HUSBAND:
Bugger!


hehehehe


Will I get in trouble for this....?

[~Candy~]

Yes, please edit

Thank you very much