[lizard]

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=2

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

Where's the Intelligence?

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

Well, I don't will.... Could be just their knees giving out.

If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

I dunno, I guess sparks fly upward because God likes sparks? Yes! That must be it! Let's make that an 'Intelligent' Theory as well!

So, when you see people falling, sometimes to their deaths, it's not gravity or the devil's hand at play, it's God or Jesus that pushed them.

[Chicon]

Sometimes I wonder what stuff they are smoking !
Newton got an intelligent apple on his head !

[Ciberblade]

Sparks are the result of an electric current driven by a larger electric charge stored on/within an insulating surface. When the power of that charge increases beyond a specific threshold value (determined by spark gap among other factors) it causes a rapid increase in the number of ions in the space between the gap, causing the air to become conductive resulting in a momentary electrostatic discharge. This discharge is generally circular and the sparks arc can travel in any direction. As for those that travel towards the sky, if you watch the sparks...they too take a downward turn following the force of gravity as their momentum slows.

This is ridiculous!

[DiSaidSo]

Uh kids? It's from The Onion. Or am I missing the satire on the satire?

[Ciberblade]

Oooh...I found it on Drudge
and a litany of blogs

[DiSaidSo]

Get outta town! Are people really that desperate to deny anything remotely scientific to further their religious beliefs?

[Stoner]

[QUOTE=Ciberblade]Sparks are the result of an electric current driven by a larger electric charge stored on/within an insulating surface. When the power of that charge increases beyond a specific threshold value (determined by spark gap among other factors) it causes a rapid increase in the number of ions in the space between the gap, causing the air to become conductive resulting in a momentary electrostatic discharge. This discharge is generally circular and the sparks arc can travel in any direction. As for those that travel towards the sky, if you watch the sparks...they too take a downward turn following the force of gravity as their momentum slows.

This is ridiculous!



Now think camp fire

[Stoner]

Originally Posted by DiSaidSo

Uh kids? It's from The Onion. Or am I missing the satire on the satire?

Blasphemy

[Stoner]

Originally Posted by DiSaidSo

Get outta town! Are people really that desperate to deny anything remotely scientific to further their religious beliefs?

The Texas Religious Indoctrination Volunteers of America Ltd.....( T.R.I.V.A.L ) are on your block as we speak :grrrrr:

They're coming to get you .......

[Ciberblade]

Originally Posted by Stoner

Now think camp fire

Ah yes...the campfire sparks that seem to float on forever into the heavens.








Those are not sparks of the electric kind...but the reason they appear to float on forever is because of their extreme light weight. They get caught up in the upward flow of the heat draft, as they do they smolder out until they are nothing but ash, and you cannot see them fall. Check your tent in the morning -- might want to brush that ash off before packing up

[Stoner]

Tent?

[Ciberblade]

Originally Posted by Stoner

Tent?

Yeah...I heard some people use these things called 'tents' when they camp...I'm sure google has pictures

[Stoner]

Originally Posted by Ciberblade

Yeah...I heard some people use these things called 'tents' when they camp...

Huh!

Is that just some people? Majority or perhaps a plurality.....or maybe just a few....and should I care?

[DiSaidSo]

Originally Posted by Stoner

The Texas Religious Indoctrination Volunteers of America Ltd.....( T.R.I.V.A.L ) are on your block as we speak :grrrrr:

They're coming to get you .......

What if they've already gotten me!?!?

[Stoner]

Originally Posted by DiSaidSo

What if they've already gotten me!?!?

Well, I always have a TRIVAL excuse ready.....