To answer your questions:
1. RAM is the amount of memory you have (RAM - Random Access Memory). So you have 256MB memory, which for Windows XP is not all that good. Your CPU usage is OK (4% is probably just used by background things (Windows updates, antivirus/antispyware etc)).
2. A good utility to use to reduce your startup is Startup Control Panel (available at
http://www.mlin.net/StartupCPL.shtml). Download and install this, then get back to me.
From here on, it is probably best to use your original thread to continue with help.