[MorrisAO]

The psychiatrist was interviewing a first time patient.

"You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks"?

"That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks."

"But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself, like wool socks."

"You do"? exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon"?

[InfernoReaper]

hahahahahahaha


I recently had a CD burner installed.



My fireplace.

[help4me]

LOL.... Hi ya IR

[lexmarks567]

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil
shortage here in our country.
~~~
Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn't know we were getting low
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~
Our OIL is located in
~~~
ALASKA
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
and
Texas
~~~
Our
DIPSTICKS
are located in
Washington, DC!!!!

Any Questions

[Hulk701]

Originally Posted by MorrisAO

The psychiatrist was interviewing a first time patient.

"You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks"?

"That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks."

"But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself, like wool socks."

"You do"? exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon"?

Somebody's writing their own material again..

[franca]

A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
"You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."
The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."

[lexmarks567]

Originally Posted by franca

A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
"You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."
The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."

hes a dead man when she recovers

[lexmarks567]

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.


Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.


We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-butted man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

[moonmist]

Ghetto Homework. ( i literally laughed til i cried) LOL

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy's homework
assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.
1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody.
2.Dictate - My girfriend say my dictate good.
3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody
>>get that catacomb.
4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
5.Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, but my ***** rectum both.
6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment
>>they gonna send me back tothe joint.
7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.
8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He
>>say, "********, that watch israel".
9. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartmentundermine.
10. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took meto the pool hall.
11. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my uncle iraq, you break.
12. Stain - My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan onstain for dinner?"
13. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" she say "fortify."
14. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.

[Couriant]

This made me chuckle

[lexmarks567]

Originally Posted by moonmist

Ghetto Homework. ( i literally laughed til i cried) LOL

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy's homework
assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.
1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody.
2.Dictate - My girfriend say my dictate good.
3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody
>>get that catacomb.
4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
5.Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, but my ***** rectum both.
6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment
>>they gonna send me back tothe joint.
7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.
8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He
>>say, "********, that watch israel".
9. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartmentundermine.
10. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took meto the pool hall.
11. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my uncle iraq, you break.
12. Stain - My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan onstain for dinner?"
13. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" she say "fortify."
14. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.

OMG that is funny

[Couriant]

Be careful what you wish for

http://simonsezsanta.com/

[MorrisAO]

Originally Posted by Hulk701

Somebody's writing their own material again..

Somebody may well be - me, I just cut and paste...

[MorrisAO]

Originally Posted by moonmist

Ghetto Homework. ( i literally laughed til i cried) LOL

Leroy is a 20 year-old 5th grader. This is Leroy's homework
assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.
1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody.
2.Dictate - My girfriend say my dictate good.
3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody
>>get that catacomb.
4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
5.Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, but my ***** rectum both.
6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment
>>they gonna send me back tothe joint.
7. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.
8. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He
>>say, "********, that watch israel".
9. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartmentundermine.
10. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took meto the pool hall.
11. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my uncle iraq, you break.
12. Stain - My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan onstain for dinner?"
13. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" she say "fortify."
14. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.

Clever and very funny

[Hulk701]

Originally Posted by Couriant

Be careful what you wish for

http://simonsezsanta.com/

He's not fair. He didn't do anything I asked him to...