[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Couriant
And next time you call me she, i will slap you silly

Don't mind Hulk... he's AC/DC... that is, he goes both way... we're all girls as far as he's concerned...

[Greytabby]

Originally Posted by Hulk701

Okay, this is better.............

In a small South Carolina town there was a nativity scene that indicated great skill and talent in its creation. One small feature bothered me though. The three wise men were wearing fireman's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a bar on the edge of town, I asked the bartender about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a particular passage.

Sticking it in my face she said, "See, it says right here, ! 'The three wise men came from afar.

as a southerner i can say that is hilarious!!!

[lexmarks567]

The twelve days of christmas clinton style

1. a day away from Hillary
2 drunken girls
3 French Maids
4. cuban cigars
5 bags of weed
6 vacation days
7 metal bongs
8 more bags of weed
9 exodic dancers
for
10 million dollars
11 ways of gettin tipsy
12 major headaches

[franca]

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, if I stood on my head the blood would run down into it." "Yes sir," the kids replied. "Then why is it that when I'm standing upright in the usual position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" Little Johnny shouted, "'Cause your feet ain't empty!"

[lexmarks567]

President Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld were flying on Air Force
One. George looked at Dick, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a
$1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Dick shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills
out of the window and make ten people very happy."

Rumsfeld added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills
out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his
co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Heck, I could throw all of them out
of the window and make 56 million people very happy."

[Shamou]

lexmarks567... that's the first joke that Adam told Eve... but it's still a good one...

[bassetman]

Originally Posted by Hulk701

Okay, this is better.............

In a small South Carolina town there was a nativity scene that indicated great skill and talent in its creation. One small feature bothered me though. The three wise men were wearing fireman's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a bar on the edge of town, I asked the bartender about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a particular passage.

Sticking it in my face she said, "See, it says right here, ! 'The three wise men came from afar.

I gotta tell this one to our new bartender from SC!

[franca]

The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living. "Mary, what does your parents do?"
Lil' Mary replied "My dad is a lawyer and my mummy is a nurse."
"Thats very nice," said the teacher,"Robert, what do your parents do?"
Robert proudly exclaimed ,"My dad is a policeman and my mom is a teacher!"
"Thats very nice," said the teacher ,"Johnny, what do your parents do?"
He stood up and pronounced, "My dad's dead and my mom's a whore." Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. 15 minutes later, he returned. "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?" asked the teacher. Johnny replied, "Yes, he said that in our economy every job is important,gave me an apple and asked for my phone number."

[franca]

This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings.
Owner: "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German."
Shopper: "And what happens if I pull both the strings?"
Parrot: "I fall off my perch you fool!!!"

[RSM123]

Any other Brits remember 'Rainbow' ... children's tv from the 70's ?

Apparently this episode was never broadcast :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvZYB...elated&search=

- Can't think why

[Couriant]

Originally Posted by RSM123

Any other Brits remember 'Rainbow' ... children's tv from the 70's ?

Apparently this episode was never broadcast :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvZYB...elated&search=

- Can't think why

lol it was not broadcast because it was made as a joke.

Still funny though

[RSM123]

Originally Posted by Couriant

lol it was not broadcast because it was made as a joke.

Hmmm, thanks Tidus / Couriant.

I gathered why it was never screened.

[Couriant]

here is the link for it

http://www.rainbow.arch.scriptmania....v_episode.html

[RSM123]

Originally Posted by Couriant

here is the link for it

http://www.rainbow.arch.scriptmania....v_episode.html

Good one.



I can't believe that 'Geoffrey' is 64 :-0

[GoJoAGoGo]

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived and bet 20,000 on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."

With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down... And squealed... "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers... and then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."

Moral --- Not all Southerners are stupid. Not all blondes are dumb. But, all men..... are men.