[~Candy~]

Who changed Tidus?

[DarqueMist]

Tidus changed ?

[~Candy~]

Seems he's no longer Distinguished

[DarqueMist]

lol .. missed that but I think that "Tidus4yuna" is as apt a discription as you will find. I still can't bring myself to say Couriant

[~Candy~]

Me neither....that sounds like jelly

[Greytabby]

Originally Posted by Couriant

should be small enough

i definately like yours better..... so there we have the corny award suggested by kat (greytabby) and created by couriant...

[remaja]

Originally Posted by Greytabby

some El salvador prisoners were caught trying to smuggle cell phones in prison by hiding them in their behinds. i wonder if this is for real?

set a nice ring tone and you'll get an a*sh**e that sings

[ferrija1]

If AOL was a City
You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name.
You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck.
Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd be assaulted by slimy little door-to-door sales creeps offering you great AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99.
The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back into your yard.
The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known resident.
The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move.
If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important to us."
Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a bouncer screaming, "We're Sorry, This Store is Temporarily Unavailable"
Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see your license tag and laugh at you, behind your back.
You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation.
You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most new arrivals would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox with garbage, and vacate before sun-up.
The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding money.


Glossary of PC Messages
I t says: "Press Any Key" It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."
It says: "Press A Key" (This one's a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.)
It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E" It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem."
It says: "Installing program to C:\<Directory>...." It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them."
It says: "Please insert disk 11" It means: "Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks."
It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...." It means: "... However, if you put the CD in right side up..."
It says: "Please Wait...." It means: "... Indefinitely."
It says: "Directory does not exist...." It means: ".... any more. Whoops."
It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close." It means: "....Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back."


Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.

Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.

Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Dan Quayle virus: Simplye addse ane ee toe everye worde youe typee..

David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

George Bush virus: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.

Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".

Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus", you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.

Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

[MorrisAO]

Originally Posted by remaja

set a nice ring tone and you'll get an a*sh**e that sings

[franca]

Originally Posted by Greytabby

this was a corny joke so i am giving myself some corn as a reward. maybe i'll have it bronzed. LOL

How about framed ! ........

[lexmarks567]

Originally Posted by franca

How about framed ! ........

hey we have a new award. Im copying it might come in handy

[Greytabby]

Originally Posted by lexmarks567

hey we have a new award. Im copying it might come in handy

i copied it too... i like both francas and couriants so i saved both...
LOL i nominate remaja to receive the 2nd for the ringtone joke. LOL ( me having given myself the first ) no offence remaja..

[lexmarks567]

Barbecue Season Is Coming!

After the long months of cold and winter, we will soon be coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

1) The woman buys the food.

2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Important again:

7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine.....

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all: 10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

[Greytabby]

good one lex...

[Greytabby]

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"