[Greytabby]

Originally Posted by lexmarks567

As I walked down the busy footpath, knowing I was late for an important meeting, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, homeless vagabonds that are found in every city these days.


Wearing what can only be describes as rags, carrying every worldly possession in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person's slight condition.


Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them.

Recalling some long ago Sunday School admonition to "care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked," I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.


Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a hidden beauty.


A small voice inside my head called out, "Reach out, reach out!"





So I did..........



I'll be out of the hospital in about six weeks.....

that was a good one Lex.....

[Greytabby]

Originally Posted by franca

Two eggs sitting on a kitchen table.

One of them spots a whisk and asks: "What's that?"

The other egg looks puzzled and replies: "Beats me"...

LOL

[lexmarks567]

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bomb.php

[Couriant]

A Russian woman married an English gentleman and they lived happily
ever after in London. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband.

The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy Chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message, and gave her the Chicken legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts! The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...








































What were you thinking?
Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!

[Couriant]

I like my corny award better it doesn't take up much room.

[Greytabby]

Originally Posted by Couriant

I like my corny award better it doesn't take up much room.

yea i will use your corny award at times but since i was giving this one to franca i opted for his design...

[franca]

Originally Posted by Couriant

I like my corny award better it doesn't take up much room.

[franca]

Q: What do pilots eat?

A: Plane biscuits....

[Blackmirror]

Originally Posted by franca

Q: What do pilots eat?

A: Plane biscuits....

[Couriant]

First the car had the 'bra', now they have...



The car will definitely get a mud line

[Couriant]

I knew the french were bad at driving and parking but...

[franca]

A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.

He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down £500 and says: "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."

The trucker replies: "Listen darlin', I'm not horny - I'm homesick.".....

[Davec]

Dear Editor,

In a recent column Susan Trausch (Globe columnist) referred to Smokey the Bear.

It is true that Smokey the Bear deserves praise for his campaign against forest fires.

But nobody ever mentions the boy scouts he kills for their hats.

Respectfully,

MHS
Cambridge

[Farmgirl22]

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to
a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite well. As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts", and the patients complied by standing up.

After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts", and they all sat back down in their seats. After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts". They all broke out into applause and cheered. When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts" and they all started booing and cat calling.

Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he re turned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?" The assistant replied, "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled,



"PEANUTS!"

[Blackmirror]

Males doing the washing