[Hulk701]

Thanks gang, sure laughed this morning. Slack Ali, yours was great

[franca]

Q: What did the valley say after an earthquake?

A: "It wasn't my fault!"

[Shamou]

Frank, your system is building resistance to the substance... you will have to increase the dosage...

[Couriant]

one for the english guys:

Two irishmen went into a resturant and sat down. The waitress came over and asked what they would like to order.

"I would like a quickie" repied Mick.
"You dirty little man you." The waitress said. "Now what you want to order."
"I want to have a quickie" Mick said. Paddy, his friend said
"Mick, I believe it's pronounced 'Quiche'"

[Couriant]

Check out my post in this thread (post #305). Keep in mind the topic of the thread

I didn't want to repeat it again... too lazy

[Sooky 47]

This is an older video, but I still think it's funny!

http://s56.photobucket.com/albums/g1...tishWife_2.flv

[ymfoster]

Originally Posted by talon03

hehe loved the cat one

Enlarge piccie to see what Cat thinks

[franca]

Originally Posted by Sooky 47

This is an older video, but I still think it's funny!

http://s56.photobucket.com/albums/g1...tishWife_2.flv

Hi Lu. .........It sure is .....Very funny...

cu Frank..

[franca]

Q: Why didn't anyone want to sleep with daddy dinosaur?

A: Because he was a Bronto-snore-us!

[Hulk701]

Can anybody tell me what this is:






Hint: He didn't want to be the first American president to loose a war.....

[Fidelista]

>f

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old white man married a 20-year-old white girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow.

"This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"

He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?"

He again said, "You've got to keep the old motor running."

The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, "You must be quite a man."

He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil because this one's black."

[Fidelista]

>f
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their
options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a
homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you
indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."

The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again
indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for their
return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The Alcoholic, hearing the
loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop himself. His buddies
accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had
he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold
dead.

His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they
must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a
cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The Homosexual looked at
the Chain Smoker and said,

"You know if you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."

[Hulk701]

Good ones Fidel....BTW, its the LBJ memorial....

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."

[Shamou]

Isn't this amazing?

TAXES
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
Capital Gains Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Court Fines (indirect taxes)
Dog License! Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax Interest expense (tax on the money)
Inventory tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Local Income Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Septic Permit Tax
Service Charge Taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Taxes (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Road Toll Booth Taxes
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and
local surcharge taxes
Telephone mi nimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Toll Bridge Taxes
Toll Tunnel Taxes
Traffic Fines (indirect taxation)
Trailer Registration Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
COMMENTS:
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our nation was the most prosperous in the world, had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What the hell happened!?!

[Shamou]