[franca]

Originally Posted by poochee

This is a cute one.

http://www.frontiernet.net/~shelby30.../nowindows.htm

Good one..Poochee.....

[franca]

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a caterpillar?

A: A walkie-talkie!

[franca]

Originally Posted by ohheck

Bill Gates is retiring!

http://pez.multiply.com/video/item/30

.........

[Hulk701]

What's the difference between a blonde and Windows XP?
The blonde operates on more American laptops!

[smooth]

Originally Posted by Hulk701

What's the difference between a blonde and Windows XP?
The blonde operates on more American laptops!

lol Very funny

[ashes@work]

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Popemobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore.

A helpless man, wearing an Ohio State jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Michigan jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious Buckeye fan from the water.

Then using baseball bats, the three heroes in Blue and Maize beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between Buckeye and Michigan fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth."

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."

"Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know beans about shark fishing.... how's the bait holding up?"

[JEBWrench]

Bravo Miss Ashley. *falling over laughing*

[InfernoReaper]

*still laughing*

[Hulk701]

Originally Posted by ashes@work

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Popemobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore.

A helpless man, wearing an Ohio State jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Michigan jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious Buckeye fan from the water.

Then using baseball bats, the three heroes in Blue and Maize beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between Buckeye and Michigan fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth."

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."

"Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know beans about shark fishing.... how's the bait holding up?"

Good one Ashey

Quote:
Originally Posted by valley
when something is done in ignorance then its always best to admit that you have no excuse, fix the problem, put it behind you and move on ....so what happens when she's your boss and she fires your arse....

Honesty is not always the best policy...

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Hulk701
Honesty is not always the best policy...

...no danger of you being accused of that... is there...???

[Hulk701]

NOPE!

[ymfoster]

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

What do they say?" the priest enquired.

They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"


"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots that I have taught to pray and read the
bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Bob.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying...that phrase...in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence.

Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed: "Put the bloody beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

[franca]

Q: Why does a bike stand on one leg?

A: Because it's two-tired.

[Shamou]

...very good one YM...

[ashes@work]

lol...obviously from a man...

When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said,
"Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa
bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night
with a hot 25-year-old blonde.

"Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but
I'm sleeping with a 50-year-old woman. I seems to me that you are not
holding up you side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot
25-year-old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be
living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve you mid-life
crises!