[GoJoAGoGo]

Originally Posted by Shamou

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he says, "I've heard that flights willgo quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse
produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"

Good one old buddy ...

[ymfoster]

Originally Posted by Shamou

...you know that when the end of the world comes... you guys are getting it 12 or so hours ahead of us...

...goodnight Yvonne...

PS.- Thanks for the Bulldogs... love 'em...

LOL ...... Knew you'd like the Bulldogs
have a great weekend

[franca]

Originally Posted by GoJoAGoGo

Some of the artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics
to accommodate baby boomers.

They include:

1. Herman's Hermits--- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.

2. The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.

3. Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

4. Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.

5. Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

6. Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now.

7. Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver (one of my favorites).

8. The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

9. Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.

10. Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.

11. Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

12. The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

13. Abba--- Denture Queen.

14. Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

15. Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.

16. Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again

17. Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure and I'll Cry If I Want To.

I Like It.........

[franca]

Q: Why did the whale cross the road?

A: To get the other tide!

[SouthParkXP101]

lol

blondes :

she is so blone she thinks taco bell is the
mexican phone company

[GoJoAGoGo]

Originally Posted by franca

I Like It.........

It's an honor to receive the award that you have earned many times, thanks ...

[Couriant]

so did anyone see the acapella group?

[SouthParkXP101]

Originally Posted by Tidus4Yuna

so did anyone see the acapella group?

nope ? what is it

[franca]

Q: Where are pencils made?

A: In Pencil-vania!

[SouthParkXP101]

Originally Posted by franca

Q: Where are pencils made?

A: In Pencil-vania!

lol

[Couriant]

here ya go XP...

http://forums.techguy.org/3873222-post579.html

[Fidelista]

>f
During these serious times people of all faiths should remember these 4 religious truths:

1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people

2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah

3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian world.

4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters

[Shamou]

Good one Fidelista...

[InfernoReaper]

nice

I know I saw a rabbi at Hooters yesterday!

[poochee]

August 13, 2006
Mel Gibson Protests FAA's Ban on Liquids

Actor Enlists Support of Billy Joel, Liza Minnelli

Days after the Federal Aviation Administration issued a ban on passengers bringing liquids on board flights in their carryon luggage, actor Mel Gibson came forward to vehemently protest the FAA's new restrictions.

At a press conference in Malibu today, the "Braveheart" star said today that banning liquids on board planes was an example of "persecution at its worst."

"There are many examples of people for whom liquids are an important, life-sustaining part of their daily routine," Mr. Gibson said. "To keep them from bring those liquids on flights is tantamount to cruel and unusual punishment."

The actor added, "I'm all for profiling, but this is discrimination against all Americans who really need liquids."

The actor said he had enlisted many other prominent members of the entertainment industry to join in his protest of the FAA's liquid ban, including the singers Billy Joel and Liza Minnelli.

"There is no way that Billy, Liza and I are getting on board a plane without our liquids," he said. "That just isn't going to happen."

Mr. Gibson took his argument one step further, saying that when he learned about the FAA's ban he felt that it was "yet another conspiracy to single me out personally."

When asked who he thought was behind the conspiracy, Mr. Gibson was not specific, but added, "Let's just put it this way -- they're banning liquids on flights, but they haven't touched the kosher meals."

Elsewhere, President Bush ordered the Homeland Security Department to launch a full investigation to determine whether terrorists could smuggle snakes on a plane.

www.borowitzreport.com