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The New Joke / Humor Thread (Mambo No. #5!)

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Couriant's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 09:50 AM #1
The New Joke / Humor Thread (Mambo No. #5!)
OK, the old thread was over 2,000 posts so time for a new one!
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05-Jul-2006, 10:02 AM #2
I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

By now I was starting to smile.

Hey, this was fun! "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?"

I asked them again. Again, they all answered, "NO!"

I was just bursting with pride for them. "Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."
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franca's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 11:23 AM #3
Q: Why was the broom late?

A: It over-swept!
moonmist's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 11:33 AM #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tidus4Yuna
OK, the old thread was over 2,000 posts so time for a new one!
Dont think thats a good reason to start a new one ...... sorta insulting to the person who originated that tread......... JMO
Couriant's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 11:36 AM #5
well Moonie, the OP on that thread made it after the previous thread was only 1692 posts old
Couriant's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 11:37 AM #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by franca
Q: Why was the broom late?

A: It over-swept!
lol there are the franca awards... now we have the groan awards
franca's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 11:44 AM #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tidus4Yuna
lol there are the franca awards... now we have the groan awards
I'll take it T4Y......


Q: Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?

A: Because corn has ears and potatoes have eyes!
Couriant's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 12:09 PM #8
Q: Why you should never play Poker in a jungle?
A: Because there's a lot of Cheetahs around
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05-Jul-2006, 12:17 PM #9
Dear God,

I promise I'll be good if you'll PLEASE MAKE THEM STOP!!!!!!!!
Couriant's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 12:20 PM #10
ummm

NEVER!

franca's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 12:23 PM #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tidus4Yuna
ummm

NEVER!




Q: Why shouldn't you give someone a gate?

A: Because they might take afence!
Hulk701's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 12:53 PM #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by coderitr
Dear God,

I promise I'll be good if you'll PLEASE MAKE THEM STOP!!!!!!!!

Don't say that, it just encourages them....

I'm still reeling after the 65 cat jokes in the previous thread.

Does anybody have some funny 4th of July stories?...
Couriant's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 12:55 PM #13
Q: How many months have 28 days?





A: 12
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05-Jul-2006, 12:56 PM #14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tidus4Yuna
lol there are the franca awards... now we have the groan awards

The groan award

smooth's Avatar
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05-Jul-2006, 12:57 PM #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by help4me
The groan award


Nice award.
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