Hang in there, Litomo buddy. Remember, attitude is either your best friend or your worst enemy.
People are always more willing to help a cheerful/hopeful person than they are a depressed/hopeless one.
It may seem funny that way, but it is the truth in most cases.
Place your burdens on the Lord and cast them away from the worry department in your mind.
It doesn't mean that you don't have to deal with the issues you need to, just that you needn't over-worry about them if you trust in the Lord to provide for your needs.
Granted, He doesn't always deliver on the things that we "want" but when we trust in Him, he'll
always make sure we get what we need.
You can never out give God. Place your trust in Him, and draw closer to him, and he'll place more trust in you with provision.
If you can find a way to trust in God, you'll find a contentment that surpasses even your happiest days. And you know what? You're really start to live at that point. Your spirits will be lifted high on wings like eagles, and no matter what darts the enemy throws your way, you'll be able to smile and knock them down harmlessly to the ground.
I'm telling you this because it is absolutely the truth.
If you're not attending a church, then get in to a contemporary Christian church where there will be lots of people in your age group with smiles on their faces.
Calvary Chapel is good with that. The music is pretty good there too. But don't limit your choices. Just make sure that the church bases their theology on the Bible, and you'll do fine.
Strangely enough, when (not if, but when) you find the right church, you'll notice that you WANT to be there at church whenever the doors are open.

Whether there's a service or not. When you find such a church, there will be others who feel the same, so you will not be alone.
Take care Litomo.
Prayer works. And right now, I'm praying for your contentment so that you can finally start living again.
