[Shamou]

Originally Posted by katonca

Never pee into the wind

And, don't eat yellow snow...


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[Guyzer]

Never, ever trust a used car salesman.

[valis]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Bwahahahahaha... I'm gonna get that one tattooed on my butt...


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man, that picture ain't coming out without professional assistance.....

[lexmarks567]

that a baseball hit by the blades of a cealing fan will go very far

[help4me]

Originally Posted by Stoner

.......
We pull together pretty strongly when needed and for the most part, know that it's there.......

It used to be that way....... but family unity died with my mother, or so it seems. So I'll go it alone..... less complications that way. As far as adults..... kids don't count this time... all I had left was my dad. But really..... the way things are going.... I don't even have that. He's looking out for himself and to hell with everybody else. The one person I always thought I could count on was my dad. Guess I was wrong. LOL.... it was bound to happen sooner or later. I guess I can't always be right

[valis]

Originally Posted by lexmarks567

that a baseball hit by the blades of a cealing fan will go very far

that plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.

http://www.google.com/search?num=100...an&btnG=Search

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by help4me

It used to be that way....... but family unity died with my mother, or so it seems. So I'll go it alone..... less complications that way. As far as adults..... kids don't count this time... all I had left was my dad. But really..... the way things are going.... I don't even have that. He's looking out for himself and to hell with everybody else. The one person I always thought I could count on was my dad. Guess I was wrong. LOL.... it was bound to happen sooner or later. I guess I can't always be right

Bonnie, what I have seen many times is what I could call, "role reversal." It is what happens when parents loose some resources and become more vulnerable and the child becomes mature... at which time... the child becomes the one who leads and the parent becomes the dependent...

It's just a thought Bonnie...


.

[help4me]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Bonnie, what I have seen many times is what I could call, "role reversal." It is what happens when parents loose some resources and become more vulnerable and the child becomes mature... at which time... the child becomes the one who leads and the parent becomes the dependent...

It's just a thought Bonnie...




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Thanks Ray. This has just...... left quite a mess for me to clean up..... and I'm not quite sure just how I am going to fix this one. And I've tried to talk to him..... even got grouchy...... ok.... down right b*tchy...... and so now when ever i say dad this needs to be done..... or we have a problem..... I get instant attitude and he stomps off or leaves. I don't know how to parent a capable parent. grandma I can deal with. I somehow have been able to step into that role without her losing her..... dignity and respect..... but with dad.... it's different. I feel I've lost two parents now. Only one of them had a choice about abandoning this family. I don't know Ray. Perhaps I'm just not seeing things the right way. All I can see right now is a mess. And it has to be cleaned up before I can focus on anything else. Before I can attempt to repair the family relations. Right now though..... I'm not even sure I want to. I know I know..... ungrateful brat that I am..... hideous child for turning her back on her father. Yeah.... whatever. At the moment.... I am so hurt by his choices that I ....... I'm not really sure what I am or what I'll do. Perhaps over the weekend I'll have come up with aa answer. Perhaps it's at the bottom of a bottle of brandy j/k I don't drink! So don't all y'all call A.A. The only bottle I'll be tippin' back is a bottle of Pepsi

[Shamou]

Bonnie... it is so easy for me to give high sounding advice when I'm not the one standing in a knee high pile of manure... but, here goes...

Sometimes we have to take a "hidden condescending attitude." That is, take the attitude that the guy is doing the very best with the resources (mental and emotional) at his disposal... he simply cannot do any better just now... if he could he would...

So, someone must be the grown up... someone has to reach out... but not simply bend and reach out... but do so with the extreme satisfaction that this makes you the strong one... the mature one... the one that is emotionally and mentally rich enough to do so...

Be big enough and strong enough to be the one that gives versus the one who receives is the hallmark of strength and maturity...

Easy for me to say... I know...


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[help4me]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Bonnie... it is so easy for me to give high sounding advice when I'm not the one standing in a knee high pile of manure... but, here goes...

Sometimes we have to take a "hidden condescending attitude." That is, take the attitude that the guy is doing the very best with the resources (mental and emotional) at his disposal... he simply cannot do any better just now... if he could he would...

So, someone must be the grown up... someone has to reach out... but not simply bend and reach out... but do so with the extreme satisfaction that this makes you the strong one... the mature one... the one that is emotionally and mentally rich enough to do so...

Be big enough and strong enough to be the one that gives versus the one who receives is the hallmark of strength and maturity...

Easy for me to say... I know...


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I agree with you Ray. And that was how I was raised. But not at the expense of the entire household. He's an adult..... he can fend for himself a little bit more. I have to put the welfare of those that can't fend for themselves first.

[lexmarks567]

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke (and lots of it).

[valis]

Originally Posted by help4me

I agree with you Ray. And that was how I was raised. But not at the expense of the entire household. He's an adult..... he can fend for himself a little bit more. I have to put the welfare of those that can't fend for themselves first.

took me two dozen years and countless beers to figure out that both my parents are freakin' idiots when it comes to raising kids. Once I got that part figured out, I was good to go. They both hate each other so much that my sis and I ended up raising ourselves, which is probably why we are as 'interesting' as we are, shall we say.

But once I did figure that out, I shortly thereafter figured out that there was a corollary to that; in any given family, there are clearly defined roles. Mom, Dad (parents), Sister, Brother (kids). Parents + kids = family. Okay. Nice and simple. Except my equation was (blank) + kids /= family. Okay, still pretty simple. So if I got a sis, a mom, a dad, and me, and no family, and family is the desired outcome, the formula becomes rather simple. (kids==parents) + (parents == kids) = family. Desired outcome, just had to switch the roles. Once I got that figured out, I got sober shortly thereafter and was able to begin living my life.

But jesus, for such a simple idea, it took a long and tortuous road to get there. 'parent' is the name for God on the lips and mouths of all children.

(that last part was stolen and modified from The Crow, btw)


Dunno if that helps your situation Bonnie, doubt it does, but just wanted you to know that you aren't alone out there.

v

[Skivvywaver]

Never, ever trust a mind control freak.

[bonzobob999]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Bonnie... it is so easy for me to give high sounding advice when I'm not the one standing in a knee high pile of manure... but, here goes...

Sometimes we have to take a "hidden condescending attitude." That is, take the attitude that the guy is doing the very best with the resources (mental and emotional) at his disposal... he simply cannot do any better just now... if he could he would...

So, someone must be the grown up... someone has to reach out... but not simply bend and reach out... but do so with the extreme satisfaction that this makes you the strong one... the mature one... the one that is emotionally and mentally rich enough to do so...

Be big enough and strong enough to be the one that gives versus the one who receives is the hallmark of strength and maturity...

Easy for me to say... I know...


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Sniff sniff....smells like dogs......no cats...........no got it sussed..its BS.
Shamou I wouldnt trust you if you where the last man on earth........not your fault though cos you are brainwashed....................just my opinion folks, just that I can see whats coming next. ....I'll take a chance here and say....ban me if you think I'm wrong.

Hiya help4me...give me a smile.

[help4me]

Originally Posted by bonzobob999

Hiya help4me...give me a smile.

Call me Bonnie...... please.

Ok honey...... just for you ........