  | Distinguished Member with 3,332 posts. | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Roseburg, OR USA Experience: Intermediate |
19-Jun-2009, 11:21 AM
#1936 | My good friend is more aggressive at work than she realizes. After she had her annual performance review, I asked, "How did it go?"
"They had written that I was overbearing," she replied with a shrug. "I made them take it off." | | | Distinguished Member with 3,332 posts. | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Roseburg, OR USA Experience: Intermediate |
19-Jun-2009, 11:53 AM
#1937 | I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. "Airfare to Denver is $300," the cheery salesperson replied.
"And what about Salt Lake City?"
"We have a really great rate to Salt Lake -- $99," she said. "But there is a stopover."
"Where?"
"In Denver," she said.
__________________
"If you yell at a cat, you're the one who is making a fool of yourself." - Unknown |  | Distinguished Member with 16,469 posts. | | Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver British Columbia |
19-Jun-2009, 03:00 PM
#1938 | WHY did the apple and the orange stop rolling down the road?
They ran out of juice. |  | Distinguished Member with 6,135 posts. | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: In a void... Experience: Intermediate |
19-Jun-2009, 06:28 PM
#1939 | Frank, you are doing it again!  | | | Distinguished Member with 16,469 posts. | | Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver British Columbia |
20-Jun-2009, 12:02 AM
#1940 | Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmgirl22  Frank, you are doing it again! | I'm sorry FG I can't resist !......  
WHAT'S the world's fastest drink?
Milk - it's pasteurised before you know it! | | | Distinguished Member with 16,469 posts. | | Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver British Columbia |
20-Jun-2009, 08:16 PM
#1941 | WHY do atheists pay less tax?
They are a non-prophet group. | | | Distinguished Member with 16,469 posts. | | Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver British Columbia |
21-Jun-2009, 01:55 PM
#1942 | WHAT did the boy candle say to the girl candle?
Let's go out together tonight. | | | Distinguished Member with 6,135 posts. | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: In a void... Experience: Intermediate |
22-Jun-2009, 09:54 AM
#1943 | | | | | Distinguished Member with 16,469 posts. | | Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver British Columbia |
23-Jun-2009, 10:52 PM
#1944 | WHY shouldn't you fall in love with a tennis player? To them, love means nothing.... | | | Distinguished Member with 3,332 posts. | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Roseburg, OR USA Experience: Intermediate |
24-Jun-2009, 12:55 PM
#1945 | Future post from somewhere in Kansas:
My mother is a cleaning fanatic. One Saturday she told me and my brother to get down to the playroom and straighten it up. We had had a party there the previous evening and she was none too happy about the mess. As she watched us work, it was clear Mom was completely dissatisfied with our cleaning efforts and let us know it. Finally my brother, exasperated with having to do it all over, reached for a broom and asked, "Can I use this or are you planning to go somewhere?"
__________________
"If you yell at a cat, you're the one who is making a fool of yourself." - Unknown | | | Distinguished Member with 3,332 posts. | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Roseburg, OR USA Experience: Intermediate |
24-Jun-2009, 05:50 PM
#1946 | A sign posted on the wall of an Army mess hall read: "Don't Waste Food -- Food Will Win the War." Beneath these words someone had scrawled: "That's fine, but how do we get the enemy to eat here?" | | | Distinguished Member with 16,469 posts. | | Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Vancouver British Columbia |
24-Jun-2009, 06:28 PM
#1947 | WHAT'S a horse's favourite sport? Stable Tennis. |  | Distinguished Member with 16,208 posts. | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Warren MI Experience: Intermediate |
24-Jun-2009, 08:39 PM
#1948 | Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet! | | | Distinguished Member with 3,332 posts. | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Roseburg, OR USA Experience: Intermediate |
25-Jun-2009, 10:56 AM
#1949 | My sister was busy getting ready to host our entire family for Easter. On her to-do list was a hair appointment for her daughter. "So, Katie," said the stylist as the little girl got up in the chair, "who's coming to your house this weekend with big ears and floppy feet?"
Katie replied, "I think it's my uncle Brian."
__________________
"If you yell at a cat, you're the one who is making a fool of yourself." - Unknown | | | Distinguished Member with 3,332 posts. | | Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Roseburg, OR USA Experience: Intermediate |
25-Jun-2009, 06:58 PM
#1950 | The insurance agency I work for draws business from a retirement community. Once, when applying for auto insurance for a client, I asked him how many miles he drives in a year. He said he didn't know.
"Well, do you drive 10,000 miles a year?" I asked, "or 5,000?"
He said the numbers sounded high. "What month is this?" he asked. I told him it was July.
"Maybe this will help," he said. "I filled the car with gas in February."
__________________
"If you yell at a cat, you're the one who is making a fool of yourself." - Unknown | |
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