[idar]

Post a PUN here:

When the fish started going deaf he got a herring aid.

[idar]

The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country's leader. The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power. This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game

[The BOBS Fan]

"Wet Dream" by Kip Adotta
http://ontheprowl.vox.com/library/au...343ae094f.html
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It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My barracuda was in the shop
So I was in a rented stingray, and it was overheating

So I pulled into a Shell Station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing, and leave my private life out of it, okay, pal?"

While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar
A real dive, but I knew the owner
He used to play for the Dolphins
I said "Hi, Gil!"
You have to yell, he's hard of herring

Gil was also down on his luck
Fact is he was barely keeping his head below water
I bellied up to the sandbar, he poured me the usual
Rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side, heavy on the mako
I slipped him a fin, on porpoise

I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids, just for the halibut

Well the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines
They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal
What sole!

Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna
"Salmon Chanted Evening"
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
Probably there to see the bass player

One of them was this cute little yellowtail, and she's giving me the eye
So I figured this is my chance -- You know, a piece of Pisces!?!

But she said things I just couldn't fathom
She was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink!
She drank like a.......She drank a lot
I said, "What's your sign?"
She said, "Aquarium."
I said, "Let's Get Tanked!"

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh
Wet Dream!!!

I invited her to my place for a midnight bait
I said, "Come on baby, it'll only take a few minnows."
She threw me that same old line, "Not tonight, I gotta haddock."

And she wasn't kidding either
Cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock
I'd ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with mussels

He came over to me and said,
"Listen, shrimp, don't you come trollin' around here!"
What a crab! This guy was steamed!
I could see the anchor in his eyes

I turned to him, I said, "A-balone! You're just being shellfish!"
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble, and so did Gil
Because he was already on the phone to the cods

The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over...it was a fluke...but there he was
Flat as a mackerel...kelpless

I said, "Forget the cods Gil, this guy's gonna need a sturgeon!"

Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me
She said, "Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish. What's your name?"
I said, "Marlin."

I think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh
Wet Dream!!!

Well from then on we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner, I took her to dance
I bought her a bouquet of flounders
I went home with her
And what did I get for my trouble?
A case of the clams!!!

I think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh
Wet Dream!!!

I think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' thru the Gulf Stream
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh
Wet Dream!!!

[idar]

Those who wear earmuffs aren't afraid of lobal warming.

The grass farmer was criminally charged after using a sod-off shotgun to settle a lawn-standing turf war - he wanted mow money. After his arrest he was denied bale.

It's a parant to everyone that only old people watch the Grammy awards.

The Irish should be rich because their capital is always Dublin.


*Hey Bobsy. Long time no see. I knew that sooner or later you'd show up on this pun thread! Hope all is well with you.*