[Davec]

My good friend is more aggressive at work than she realizes. After she had her annual performance review, I asked, "How did it go?"

"They had written that I was overbearing," she replied with a shrug. "I made them take it off."

[Davec]

I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. "Airfare to Denver is $300," the cheery salesperson replied.

"And what about Salt Lake City?"

"We have a really great rate to Salt Lake -- $99," she said. "But there is a stopover."

"Where?"

"In Denver," she said.

[franca]

WHY did the apple and the orange stop rolling down the road?

They ran out of juice.

[Farmgirl22]

Frank, you are doing it again!

[franca]

Originally Posted by Farmgirl22

Frank, you are doing it again!

I'm sorry FG I can't resist !......

WHAT'S the world's fastest drink?

Milk - it's pasteurised before you know it!

[franca]

WHY do atheists pay less tax?

They are a non-prophet group.

[franca]

WHAT did the boy candle say to the girl candle?

Let's go out together tonight.

[Farmgirl22]

The mysterious "couch".

[franca]

WHY shouldn't you fall in love with a tennis player? To them, love means nothing....

[Davec]

Future post from somewhere in Kansas:

My mother is a cleaning fanatic. One Saturday she told me and my brother to get down to the playroom and straighten it up. We had had a party there the previous evening and she was none too happy about the mess. As she watched us work, it was clear Mom was completely dissatisfied with our cleaning efforts and let us know it. Finally my brother, exasperated with having to do it all over, reached for a broom and asked, "Can I use this or are you planning to go somewhere?"

[Davec]

A sign posted on the wall of an Army mess hall read: "Don't Waste Food -- Food Will Win the War." Beneath these words someone had scrawled: "That's fine, but how do we get the enemy to eat here?"

[franca]

WHAT'S a horse's favourite sport? Stable Tennis.

[lexmarks567]

Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!

[Davec]

My sister was busy getting ready to host our entire family for Easter. On her to-do list was a hair appointment for her daughter. "So, Katie," said the stylist as the little girl got up in the chair, "who's coming to your house this weekend with big ears and floppy feet?"

Katie replied, "I think it's my uncle Brian."

[Davec]

The insurance agency I work for draws business from a retirement community. Once, when applying for auto insurance for a client, I asked him how many miles he drives in a year. He said he didn't know.

"Well, do you drive 10,000 miles a year?" I asked, "or 5,000?"

He said the numbers sounded high. "What month is this?" he asked. I told him it was July.

"Maybe this will help," he said. "I filled the car with gas in February."