[franca]

Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives. Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment. "I got a wife and three kids and I'd love to have you visit us."
"Great. Where do you live?"
"Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in."
"Good. But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?"
"Surely, you're not coming empty-handed."..

[Sooky 47]

My FAVORITE Commercial

[lexmarks567]

mommy said i could

[OldRS]

Originally Posted by lexmarks567

mommy said i could

That was great. LOL

[RSM123]

http://gizmodo.com/342499/microsofts...vers-come-from

[franca]

A Sunday school teacher asked the children in her class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?"
"No!" the children all answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven?"
Again the answer was "No!"
"Well", she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"..

[lexmarks567]

a teacher was asking what part of your body goes to heaven first. a boy in the back yelled your feet. confused the teacher asked why. because evey night my moms got her feet in the air and screaming im coming im coming

[Farmgirl22]

This was the best laugh I have had in a while....I hope you all enjoy as much as I did.....

This one is for everyone who ...
a) has kids
b) had kids,
c) was a kid,
d) knows a kid
e) is going to have kids.

I guess that means all of us!!

DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS...

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this" , and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said , "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, "What's wrong, honey?"

She replied, "What happened to my booger?"

[twinofangelize56]

LOL! FG22.... Now that was an ending that I did not expect!

[lexmarks567]

what lies at the bottom of the sea and twitches.

a nervous wreck

[franca]

To all my friends who sent me best
wishes in 2007, or promises of good
luck if I forwarded something,.......

IT DID NOT WORK!!!

For 2008, could you please just send
either lots of money, lots of chocolate,
or gas vouchers.

Thank you very much!...

[franca]

Science--God?


THIS IS PRICELESS
God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him, "Lord, we don't Need you anymore.
Science has finally figured out a way to create life Out of nothing. In other words, we can now do
what you did in the 'beginning !!."

"Oh, is that so? Tell me..." replies God.

"Well, " says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the Likeness of You and breathe life into it, thus creating man."
"Well, that's interesting . Show Me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.

"Oh no, no, no..." interrupts GOD (I love this!)
"Get your own dirt."
...

[lexmarks567]

this magician worked on a cruise ship and he had this parret. this parret new the show cause he could talk and would give away everything the guy did. hes putting it in his sleeve hes hiding it in is hat . one day the guy snapped pulled out a pistel and shot the bird the bird ducked and the bullet hit a propane tank. blew the ship to a million peices. the only survivers were the parrot and the magician and there floating on these pieces of wood. finely parrot goes i give up where'd you hide the ship

[MorrisAO]

Originally Posted by lexmarks567

what lies at the bottom of the sea and twitches.

a nervous wreck

Wasup Lex??

You trying to compete with Franca?

[lexmarks567]

Originally Posted by MorrisAO

Wasup Lex??

You trying to compete with Franca?

that guy is unbeatable