I can only imagine how deeply this hurts you, and I wish I could say something comforting to you. I'm so glad you could use my previous words for some comfort. At some point, it stops being our responsibility, it stops being about you, and bad parenting, and becomes about the choices the person is making. Ultimately, it is your son's choice. I believe you do him more good by being real, by being honest, and by believing he can change and grow, than you would if you just caved. It may take many years for your son to realize these things, but I believe he eventually will. It took me many years with my alcoholic mother, but when I finally did, it felt so good. I'm in your corner, and any time you wish to whine, cry, rant, I'm available.