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21 "real" ways to impress a bird !

Discussion in 'Random Discussion' started by jaye944, Sep 15, 2004.

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  1. jaye944

    jaye944 Thread Starter

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,580
    as an answer to 21 ways to keep a women thread


    1> First date: take her to somewhere special like..MacDonalds
    2> Make sure she pays
    3> Always try to get as far as possible, if you dont try, you dont know if she's a hoochie !
    4> When out wiv her, always check out the local talent
    5> If she's a bit fat, tell her ! Honesty is always the best policy
    6> If she's got a good looking friend or sister, give that a try as well !
    7> Dont ever forget, friends are for life, birds are just for laffs
    8> Never swear in front of a lady, if she's a hoochie dont hessitate
    9> Burps and Farts are part of life, try not to celebrate them, but dont hide them
    10> If she dont put out on at least the second date, dump her
    11> if you ever break up, do it in style, have a great big bust up in public
    12> other good ways to break up, txt or email her
    13> Women love guys to get romatic with them, after injesting a load of beer, a good strong curry and a good cigar
    14> girl always turn out like there mum, so take a good look at hers
    15> never come on to a girlfreinds mum (unless you think you can pull it off)
    16> call her names like, darlin', thingy, hoochie, or your ex's name
    17> dont forget sex is all about you, make sure you orgasm before her.
    18> if you cant or dont orgsam, its not your fault, and NEVER EVER talk about it, real men never discuss there feelings with women !
    19> If she asks you if you "really love her" always say yes, it never hurts and can only get you brownie points !
    20> If you date 2 women, make sure they have the same first name ! (think about it)
    21> If you do all 20 and are still single, dont blame me, buy a copy os COSMOPOLITAN and learn how to do it properly
     
  2. Trooper_fan

    Trooper_fan

    Joined:
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    800
    You're single aren't you?
     
  3. MightyQueenC

    MightyQueenC

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    ...and destined to stay that way with this thread! :eek:

    :D

    Carolyn ;)
     
  4. jaye944

    jaye944 Thread Starter

    Joined:
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    errrrrrm,
    can I plead the 5th even if I'm not American
    :)
     
  5. MightyQueenC

    MightyQueenC

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    LOL (y) Go for it! :D
     
  6. jaye944

    jaye944 Thread Starter

    Joined:
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    ok,

    No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.
     
  7. jaye944

    jaye944 Thread Starter

    Joined:
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    I would also like the right to bear arms and to arm bears

    I think If I can have a weopen, I think it only fair that so do bears !
     
  8. jaye944

    jaye944 Thread Starter

    Joined:
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    oh wow, you a babe ! just looked at your profile,
    dayem, your canadian ! well I wont let that count against you


    gosh, I'm smooooth today !
     
  9. jaye944

    jaye944 Thread Starter

    Joined:
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    let me practice my chat up lines

    jaye "10 ton polar bear"
    bird "you what ?"
    jaye "10 ton polar bear"
    bird "say what ?"
    once again jaye "10 ton polar bear"
    bird "errrrmmm, ??????"
    Jaye "well, it broke the ice"

    :)
     
  10. MightyQueenC

    MightyQueenC

    Joined:
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    LMAO
    Yeah, Jaye....you are wayyyyyyyyyyy smoooooth ;) :D

    Have a good day!

    Carolyn :) < had no idea she was "a babe"...well maybe to a dude in Leavenworth she is :p

    :D
     
  11. jaye944

    jaye944 Thread Starter

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    fancy a date ???

    I know your all the way over there in ontario-io-io.

    but we could have a virtual date,

    I could pick you up in my virtual Porsche
    take you to a virtual drive in movie, where we would have virtual pop corn
    then I would take you to one of my favorite virtual restaurants.
    "goodfellas" and hava some pasta the way mama use to make
    then after a virtual drive back to your place, I'd have a virtual cup of coffee.
    And after a virtual kiss on the cheek, your attempts to slap my face fail, as my virtual sad puppy dogg expresion makes you go "ahhhhhhh"

    if you want a virtual date then goto this link

    www.virtuallink/withjaye944/yeahright

    if you dont want a virtual date then go here

    www.virtuallink/jaye/uarebeingsilly/again

    :p :p
     
  12. MightyQueenC

    MightyQueenC

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Your virtual date links gave me virtually NOTHING!
    LMAO

    alert: www.virtuallink could not be found. Please check the name and try again.

    :p

    I think I'll stick to dating local jail birds :eek: ;)

    Carolyn < hopes Jaye knows she's kidding.... :)
     
  13. lisaa7002

    lisaa7002

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,258
    "21 "real" ways to impress a bird !"
    Is that how the guys pick you up in the "big house?" ( do they call it the big house still?) :D
     
  14. moonmist

    moonmist

    Joined:
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    32,916
    Yeah........smooth as ice..........dont slip and break something.....unless you really have to :rolleyes: ........ you should be so lucky to find a Canadian girl..... ;) ........and dont let fishy catch you hitting on his girl :p
     
  15. deh

    deh

    Joined:
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    You mean those suggestions don't make you feel all "warm and fuzzy" inside. :confused: :D


    And what's this i read about a "virtual date"? I seem to recall something about some sort of a virtual date a long time ago. :D
     
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