21 "real" ways to impress a bird !

jaye944

Thread Starter
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
1,580
as an answer to 21 ways to keep a women thread


1> First date: take her to somewhere special like..MacDonalds
2> Make sure she pays
3> Always try to get as far as possible, if you dont try, you dont know if she's a hoochie !
4> When out wiv her, always check out the local talent
5> If she's a bit fat, tell her ! Honesty is always the best policy
6> If she's got a good looking friend or sister, give that a try as well !
7> Dont ever forget, friends are for life, birds are just for laffs
8> Never swear in front of a lady, if she's a hoochie dont hessitate
9> Burps and Farts are part of life, try not to celebrate them, but dont hide them
10> If she dont put out on at least the second date, dump her
11> if you ever break up, do it in style, have a great big bust up in public
12> other good ways to break up, txt or email her
13> Women love guys to get romatic with them, after injesting a load of beer, a good strong curry and a good cigar
14> girl always turn out like there mum, so take a good look at hers
15> never come on to a girlfreinds mum (unless you think you can pull it off)
16> call her names like, darlin', thingy, hoochie, or your ex's name
17> dont forget sex is all about you, make sure you orgasm before her.
18> if you cant or dont orgsam, its not your fault, and NEVER EVER talk about it, real men never discuss there feelings with women !
19> If she asks you if you "really love her" always say yes, it never hurts and can only get you brownie points !
20> If you date 2 women, make sure they have the same first name ! (think about it)
21> If you do all 20 and are still single, dont blame me, buy a copy os COSMOPOLITAN and learn how to do it properly
 

jaye944

Thread Starter
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
1,580
ok,

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.
 

jaye944

Thread Starter
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
1,580
I would also like the right to bear arms and to arm bears

I think If I can have a weopen, I think it only fair that so do bears !
 

jaye944

Thread Starter
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
1,580
mightyqueenc said:
...and destined to stay that way with this thread! :eek:

:D

Carolyn ;)
oh wow, you a babe ! just looked at your profile,
dayem, your canadian ! well I wont let that count against you


gosh, I'm smooooth today !
 

jaye944

Thread Starter
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
1,580
let me practice my chat up lines

jaye "10 ton polar bear"
bird "you what ?"
jaye "10 ton polar bear"
bird "say what ?"
once again jaye "10 ton polar bear"
bird "errrrmmm, ??????"
Jaye "well, it broke the ice"

:)
 
Joined
Jul 7, 2004
Messages
10,306
jaye944 said:
oh wow, you a babe ! just looked at your profile,
dayem, your canadian ! well I wont let that count against you


gosh, I'm smooooth today !
LMAO
Yeah, Jaye....you are wayyyyyyyyyyy smoooooth ;) :D

Have a good day!

Carolyn :) < had no idea she was "a babe"...well maybe to a dude in Leavenworth she is :p

:D
 

jaye944

Thread Starter
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
1,580
mightyqueenc said:
...and destined to stay that way with this thread! :eek:

:D

Carolyn ;)
fancy a date ???

I know your all the way over there in ontario-io-io.

but we could have a virtual date,

I could pick you up in my virtual Porsche
take you to a virtual drive in movie, where we would have virtual pop corn
then I would take you to one of my favorite virtual restaurants.
"goodfellas" and hava some pasta the way mama use to make
then after a virtual drive back to your place, I'd have a virtual cup of coffee.
And after a virtual kiss on the cheek, your attempts to slap my face fail, as my virtual sad puppy dogg expresion makes you go "ahhhhhhh"

if you want a virtual date then goto this link

www.virtuallink/withjaye944/yeahright

if you dont want a virtual date then go here

www.virtuallink/jaye/uarebeingsilly/again

:p :p
 
Joined
Jul 7, 2004
Messages
10,306
jaye944 said:
fancy a date ???

I know your all the way over there in ontario-io-io.

but we could have a virtual date,

I could pick you up in my virtual Porsche
take you to a virtual drive in movie, where we would have virtual pop corn
then I would take you to one of my favorite virtual restaurants.
"goodfellas" and hava some pasta the way mama use to make
then after a virtual drive back to your place, I'd have a virtual cup of coffee.
And after a virtual kiss on the cheek, your attempts to slap my face fail, as my virtual sad puppy dogg expresion makes you go "ahhhhhhh"

if you want a virtual date then goto this link

www.virtuallink/withjaye944/yeahright

if you dont want a virtual date then go here

www.virtuallink/jaye/uarebeingsilly/again

:p :p

Your virtual date links gave me virtually NOTHING!
LMAO

alert: www.virtuallink could not be found. Please check the name and try again.

:p

I think I'll stick to dating local jail birds :eek: ;)

Carolyn < hopes Jaye knows she's kidding.... :)
 
Joined
Jul 14, 2003
Messages
1,258
"21 "real" ways to impress a bird !"
Is that how the guys pick you up in the "big house?" ( do they call it the big house still?) :D
 
Joined
Feb 27, 2003
Messages
32,916
jaye944 said:
dayem, your canadian ! well I wont let that count against you


gosh, I'm smooooth today !
Yeah........smooth as ice..........dont slip and break something.....unless you really have to :rolleyes: ........ you should be so lucky to find a Canadian girl..... ;) ........and dont let fishy catch you hitting on his girl :p
 

deh

Joined
Sep 6, 2002
Messages
7,809
moonmist said:
Yeah........smooth as ice..........dont slip and break something.....unless you really have to :rolleyes: ........
You mean those suggestions don't make you feel all "warm and fuzzy" inside. :confused: :D


And what's this i read about a "virtual date"? I seem to recall something about some sort of a virtual date a long time ago. :D
 

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