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A Bittersweet Announcement

Discussion in 'Personal News & Announcements' started by oscar51, Dec 2, 2011.

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  1. oscar51

    oscar51 Thread Starter

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 1999
    Messages:
    521
    Dear Fellow TSG Members:

    I’ve known for some time that I would have to make the following announcement here, but for many reasons have been holding back. But no longer.... So:

    First, the Sweet.

    This past June, Jean & I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. To make it a family celebration, we met with our kids and grand-kids on the beach in Ventura for a pleasant Saturday-afternoon of cool relief from the unrelenting desert heat here in Lancaster. (It’s really cold now, but it was HOT then.)

    But now, the Bitter.

    Based on a brain MRI and other tests along with an examination by a geriatric specialist, my beloved Jean was diagnosed in May with late stage-4 Alzheimer's disease. Her condition has now advanced to stage 5 and shows no signs of relenting. The story of how we got to this point is beyond the scope of this announcement, I but I will mention some consequences of our situation as they relate to TSG.

    Because I am Jean’s primary caregiver, I can only spend time on our computer when she is asleep. Those times are during the early-morning hours (which is my normal computer time) and during mid-day naps (when I should be napping). Therefore the time available to do serious number crunching as I did in the past for my reports has been greatly diminished and is now approaching zero. I do check the TSG site every day for comments and announcements to keep track of what is going on, but I can no longer commit myself to any serious contributions. I estimate we probably have about a year before she will need institutional care, so I suppose after that milestone has been passed, I could get back to “reporting” -- but probably not. As noted by Paquadez in the current thread “Any suggestions for Site Improvement?” (and in other places), the computer world is changing (again) and after 50+ years “doing computers,” I don’t know if I’m up to handling another paradigm change -- even if I liked it, which I don’t.

    And, of course, there are other considerations. In their infinite wisdom, Verizon no longer permits FTP access to their “mysite” web pages, so I have lost my personal web page where I had posted my TSG reports. I have considered registering again for a personal web domain, but have not yet done so. For now, my site files are on available at http://www.mediafire.com/?ydj15kl65vxiy#3x7kydylv2409 if anyone is interested in looking at them.

    Also, since May, I have had to give up riding my bicycle for multiple hours through our beautiful Mojave Desert. (I can’t leave Jean alone for more than a half hour or so and I don’t really feel comfortable asking someone to stay with her for several hours while I go out and risk my neck on a 30-pound bicycle dodging 4,000-pound vehicles on the open road.) So my riding time has now been reduced to one hour per day, three days per week on a stationary trainer, again, during the early-morning hours when I could be doing computers.

    Well, I could go on, but that’s enough for now. I sincerely appreciate all the warm-strokes you folks have given me over the years and even though I have never been a high-number poster, I have always felt a part of the group. For those of you who understand and practice prayer (and I know there are more than just a few of you), Jean and I would appreciate your prayer support. And, if you will allow me to “preach,” if ever so briefly:

    It is always a shock when God sees fit to allow calamities to befall us and His purpose is never clear at first. But with time, we can learn at least some of the lessons He is trying to teach us. In my case -- and this is not the first time He has hit me over the head with the proverbial two-by-four -- it is clearly another time to learn to re-orient my priorities and to learn what it is like to be forced to spend a majority of my time caring for another person, in this case, my wife of 50+ years, who can no longer do much of anything for me or increasingly anything for herself.

    I will not abandon TSG. I will check-in as often as possible to keep track of things. If anyone wants to contact me personally, there is always email.

    Paul Redin aka oscar51
     
  2. ekim68

    ekim68

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2003
    Messages:
    55,687
    First Name:
    Mike
    Wow....Thanks for everything Oscar. Time and life eventually catch up with us. Good on you for caring so much about Jean and TSG. I wish you and Jean as well as can be. (I've been through Lancaster, I grew up in Needles, a somewhat neighbor, and it is indeed hot most of the year.) Take care and again thanks for your contributions here.
     
  3. Drabdr

    Drabdr Moderator

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    12,618
    First Name:
    Brad
    You will be missed. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your story.
     
  4. WendyM

    WendyM Retired Trusted Advisor

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2003
    Messages:
    4,042
    Ah, Oscar, I was just saying how we needed you and I wish we were hearing from you under better circumstances. Congratulations on your anniversary and I'm very sorry to hear about your wife. It's a terrible disease and I hope that at least for a while she's able to have more good days than bad. I have always enjoyed reading your reports, and imagine that they were probably fun (at least for us geeks) to put together. I wish you the best and my thoughts are with you.
     
  5. pyritechips

    pyritechips Gone but Never Forgotten

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2002
    Messages:
    26,907
    First Name:
    Jim
    Sad times indeed, Paul. Thank you so much for the explanation. I had wondered at your long absence. I had always looked forward with eagerness towards your next analysis. You are missed here but obviously needed elsewhere so take care of your lovely wife and accept all our best thoughts and prayers. Post when you can, only if just to say hello.
     
  6. poochee

    poochee

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    124,720
    Oscar, sorry to hear this news. Will put you and Jean on my prayer list.
     
  7. LauraMJ

    LauraMJ Administrator

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2004
    Messages:
    13,300
    I, too, have always enjoyed your posts and your analysis sheets........you've been a great asset to the site and you will be sorely missed. :( Your post explaining your current situation is very much appreciated.

    You and your wife will be in my prayers. :)
     
  8. jimi

    jimi

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2000
    Messages:
    3,964
    Paul, Jean and yourself are in my prayers. I can relate to the trials and tribulations of your situation, while my mom is not quite as far along a Jean, is moving in that direction. I have found myself not as strong of a person as I'd like to be at times, but the self reflection when i realize that fact, hopefully makes me a better person from there moving forward, cause there ain't no going back.

    Who knew you were so eloquent - it never came through in your analysis;) - which i too enjoyed.

    amen to that beautiful sentiment.
     
  9. eggplant43

    eggplant43 A True Heart and Soul - Gone But Never Forgotten

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,198
    Just want you to know I'm thinking of you, and Jean. May you know serenity.
     
  10. bp936

    bp936

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2003
    Messages:
    3,033
    You and your contributions to TSG will be missed. I also will pray for strength for you. We often do not mention about your work, but I have always looked up your work and admired your knowledge.
    May God help you through these rough times.
     
  11. oscar51

    oscar51 Thread Starter

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 1999
    Messages:
    521
    Thank you for all your kind comments. I will keep in touch.
     
  12. hewee

    hewee

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2001
    Messages:
    57,793
    Praying for Jean and you also because it's sure going to effect you just watching over her.
     
  13. franca

    franca

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    35,238
    Praying for you both

    [​IMG]
     
  14. TechGuy

    TechGuy Administrator

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 1999
    Messages:
    14,341
    First Name:
    Mike
    I'm very sorry to hear this news, Paul. I tried to download the TSG reports from the URL posted, but couldn't make it through the ads... (I think my office firewall may be blocking parts of their site.) I will try again from home, but if you could email them to me, I'd be very grateful.

    Best of luck with your wife and do visit from time to time. We will miss you. :)
     
  15. hewee

    hewee

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2001
    Messages:
    57,793
    I also had hard time getting to download the TSG reports.
    First hard just getting to the site because hosts file blocks site.
    Then had to keep reloading page.

    Then once there the download will not download a file but downloads a toolbar (MediaFireToolbar-1.0.2.3-setup) it wants you to install to be able to download the files.

    This is NOT GOOD.
    No one should download the toolbar.
     
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