Any High-Tech Rednecks Here?


Thread Starter
Mar 18, 2001
You just might be a high-tech redneck:

If your e-mail address ends in ""
If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."
If the sticker on your computer says, "My other computer is a laptop."
If your laptop has a sticker that says, "Protected by Smith and Wesson."
If your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT."
If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.
If your wife said either she or the computer "had to go," and you still don't miss her.
If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster for your beer.
If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."
If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.
If you start all your e-mails with the words: "Howdy y'all!"
If you've ever brought your laptop to a Tractor Pull.
If you've ever been to ""
If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone with modem and fax option.
If you know that NORTON UTILITY isn't a power company.
When your friends comment on your "nice boots" and you say "Yea, thanks. Its my spiffy, new Phoenix BIOS."
When you're honked off at your computer warranty because it doesn't cover damage from "Bovine Saliva."
When your computer toolkit contains a pitch fork.
When you order your new pick-up truck with a gunrack and PCMCIA sockets.
When, in a pinch, you use your laptop battery to jump-start the Combine.
When you have 17 different versions of DOOM, but you still can't write your name.

:D :D :D
Feb 20, 1999

MAC, if you put a [ url ] at the beginning and a [ /url ] at te end (without the spaces) of that link in your signature, people can click on it and go there directly. Edit this post and see how I did it and then just copy and paste it in your signature.


Thread Starter
Mar 18, 2001
for pointing that out. :)

Since posts auto include the URL tag, I
hadn't noticed that my signature didn't
have it.

Cheers, Mac
Mar 15, 2001
If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.
My car cost me about 1/6 the cost of my computer, possibly even less...

What do you call a British "high-tech redneck"?



Aug 20, 2000
(My son may grow up to be a professional redneck... :rolleyes: , gonna have to talk to him about the flags he chooses to display)

I know stuff like this is rampant on the web, but you might get a kick out of this, if you haven't seen it already :D, the tune is good...

I don't condone nukes, no matter what, but ..... well it's just a cartoon....

(That's a good 'un, davey..)
Oct 26, 2001
Many many years ago
when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter
who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
and soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa.
Feb 28, 2001
Welcome to TSG!
Theres allot of us rednecks round here. Some at heart and others
the real down home thing. Up north in cold country we call em
country boys. Again welcome aboard you'll fit right in and if you hang around long enough you'll get to know the regulars.
Oct 26, 2001
Menny menny years ago when ah was twenty three, ah got married up wif t'a widow who was purdy as c'd be. This hyar widow
had a grown-up dotter who had hair of red, cuss it all t' tarnation. Mah Pappy fell in love of her, an' soon th' two were wed, cuss it
all t' tarnation. This hyar made mah Paw mah son-in-law An' changed mah mighty life. Mah dotter was mah Mammy, Fo' she was
mah Pappy's wife. To complicut th' matters wo'se, Although it brought me joy, ah soon became th' Pappy Of a bouncin' baby fella.
Mah li'l baby then became A brother-in-law t'Paw. An' so became mah uncle, Though it made me mighty sad, cuss it all t'
tarnation. Fo' eff'n he was mah uncle, Then thet also made him brother To th' widow's grown-up dotter Who, of course, was mah
step-Mammy. Pappy's wife then had a son, Who kepp them on th' run, as enny fool kin plainly see. An' he became mah gran'son,
Fo' he was mah dotter's son, as enny fool kin plainly see. Mah wife is now mah Mammy's Mammy An' it makes me blue. On
account o', although she is mah wife, She is mah gran'ma too. Eff'n mah wife is mah gran'Mammy, Then ah's her gran'chile. An'
ev'ry time ah reckon of it, It simply drives me wild, cuss it all t' tarnation. Fo' now ah have become Th' peekoolyarst case yo' evah
sar. As th' husbin of mah gran'Mammy, ah's mah own gran'pa.

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