Can this be true, scary about marraige???

deh

Thread Starter
Joined
Sep 6, 2002
Messages
7,809
I heard this little thing this morning and it scared me a little.

A popular DJ was talking about how it still bothered him that he lost half his possessions. Ok well that didn't bother me because I think they had a No Fault but then he said that let's say a woman goes out and cheats. EVen if she flat out admitted it she would still be entitled to half.

Wouldn't her infidelity void the lifetime contract. She is the one that wants out. I mean granted you can just pull up the "mental cruelty" angle with just about anything but are you telling me that if she just flat out said I don't want to be married, nothing you did just don't want to...she gets half.

That's insane.

Also shouldn't there be a cap??? Granted if she decided to give up her career then that is fair but does she need 10 million to live, opposite end of spectrum a poor guy-if they split it noone lives.
 

angelize56

Always remembered in our hearts
Joined
Apr 17, 2002
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Unless there is a pre-nup...both get half. Don't forget the old vows...."for better or for worse". :) Besides it's usually you men out cheating on we women....isn't it! :D angel
 

LANMaster

Banned
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Originally posted by angelize56:
Unless there is a pre-nup...both get half. Don't forget the old vows...."for better or for worse". :) Besides it's usually you men out cheating on we women....isn't it! :D angel
Not sure I agree with you here. Are there numbers anywhere that tell whether men or women usually file? I bet more women file than men.;)
 

bassetman

Moderator (deceased) - Gone but never forgotten
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47,973
angelize56 wrote

Unless there is a pre-nup...both get half. Don't forget the old vows...."for better or for worse". Besides it's usually you men out cheating on we women....isn't it! angel
I can give you a long list of guys where the woman did the cheating, including taking off and leaving the kids with them for months.
 
J

Jonesiegirl

Oh my... now this is gonna be a gooey topic... :eek:

***The Testosterone -vs- The Estrogen***

Hahahhaha... I can't wait to see where this goes! :)
 

deh

Thread Starter
Joined
Sep 6, 2002
Messages
7,809
I guess it could be that even though not meant to be but let's put it in another perspective.

Man stays at home, woman build a very successful career. The man decides he doesn't want to be in the marraige anymore or whatever scenario you want to place as worthy of divorce. Ok awful to say this but hypothetically speaking rather than cheating we'll say man abuses woman.

Wouldn't or shouldn't the abuse(or cheating or whatever) void that lifetime contract?

Let's also say that this man wasn't the brightest bulb in the batch so even if he did work and not sit at home doing nothing all day he really would've been no more than a gas attendant. So he deserves half of this ambitious, go getting woman whereas if he never of been married he'd still be at home with mom and dad.


I heard the middle class man (or female) if there is one bread winner really gets the shaft.

Guess the moral of the story is: Lifetime contracts are not cheap to get out of.
 
J

Jonesiegirl

I feel as though the divorce rate would plummet, if everyone in a committed relationship would maintain their focus as to "why" they got into the relationship to begin with... and keep the focus there. "LOVE and the other L word (lust)" ... and all the fringe benefits that come with it. :)
It all starts over a pleasant cup of coffee in the morning ... :D
 
Joined
Jul 18, 2001
Messages
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Until Mulder or Gbrumb comes in here to give us the exact law, I seem to recall that both parties are only guaranteed 50/50 split if they were married for at least 7 years.
 
Joined
Nov 16, 2002
Messages
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Originally posted by deh:
Man stays at home, woman build a very successful career. The man decides he doesn't want to be in the marraige anymore or whatever scenario you want to place as worthy of divorce. Ok awful to say this but hypothetically speaking rather than cheating we'll say man abuses woman.

Wouldn't or shouldn't the abuse(or cheating or whatever) void that lifetime contract?
gotta agree with what deh is saying.

I heard the middle class man (or female) if there is one bread winner really gets the shaft.
yep. Had a friend Paul, who married his childhood sweetheart. They were together for 15 years and had a son together after all of that time. He worked, making excellent money and they had everything. She decided (when her son was 3) that she wanted someone else and left him for another man. She left her son behind. She took Paul to court......he was paying her megabucks, even though he was raising their son alone (I keep saying "was" and "had" because he passed away two months ago) At the time, she was bound and determined that she was going to get the house and she asked him to leave so she could live there....and even tried to get some of his gun collection for her new boyfriend because she was entitled to half of EVERYTHING he owned! Here she is with a new boyfriend, a new apartment (which Paul was paying for) bartending part-time and not a care in the world....while Paul's income was cut in more than half to support her while HE was raising their son on his own. Had she taken the boy, I might have agreed that she needed the money......but she abandoned her marriage, he child, her home. I dont believe she had any rights to ask for anything other than visitation. Now our friend has died and the boy is living with her. But it was appalling how unfair the system was to him. Now....guess who has control over our friends estate until his 5 year old son is 21? :mad:
 
Joined
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Hi, my familiy are sort of divorce experts, mum had been divorced twice and Dad is on his 3rd marriage. Most of my cousins have been divorced and my brother has as well. I am an excpetion in my family and have been married for over 18 years.

When we got married we had nothing, everything we have we got together. Had I stayed home and took care of the house and kids instead of working and paying someone to take care of the kids. My husband would have been financially responsible, because:

1. I didn't have the kids on my own and
2. It would have been a marital decision that 1 spouse stays to maintain the hearth and take care of the domestic needs, while the other brought in money.

Many men resent paying anything to the spouses, whether they arethe injured party or not. The stuff that is divided usually is marital assets and few women are better off financially after a divorce.

Exerpt from:
http://www.marriageproject.org/fs0062.html

"A new phenomenon has resulted from no-fault divorce laws: what commentators have called "the feminization of poverty ." The rate of child poverty, for example, is five times higher for children living with single mothers than for children in intact families. In 1992, 53.4% of female-headed households with children subsisted below the poverty line, compared with only 10.7% of all other families with children. Studies show a drop in income for both women and men, noting that women experience an income decline of about 30 percent while the divorced male will experience about a 10 percent drop in income. "

I can tell you that my mum and I lived at the poverty level, while my dad, thrived and prospered and lived an upper middle class life. No bitterness, they had nothing to divide but the kids and no other assets, so she wasn't entitled to future earnings. My dad's child support never increased. It happens.

It is also quite rare that a successful man loses half of everything that he earned himself. Isn't the contribution that the first wife made to the financial success of the marriage, worth something? the wife who works while the husband goes through med/law/engineering etc school. The wife who does the books or manages the store or stands side by side at the beginning of a successful enterprise? the wife who schmoozes with the boss and through social functions helps her husband succeed. The wife who has the kids, raises them, does homework, kisses boo boos and is there all the time, isn't she providing an incredible service and support to the husband, isn't it worth anything?

It isn't a gender thing. If men stayed home, they should be entitled too.
If you have assets coming into the marriage, then protect them with a prenuptial aggreement, but anything you get while in the marriage should be considered a marital asset. If the marriage breaks up, it is only fair to divide the assets.

I have heard many stories where the divorcing spouse has planned to leave long in advance and started hiding, selling, defraying assets so that the one who is to be divorced cannot stake a claim to it. Not fair.
I have heard with my own ears, men who resent any financial assistance they provide for the children because they don't want that b---h to use it for makeup. Unfair
I know someone who didn't want to pay child support so he gave up his parental rights in exchange. You would have to kill me first.

Just because someone leaves, doesn't mean they aren't responsible for the kids welfare, and that means adequate housing, food, clothing entertainment. The kids deserve a life.

I'm done, sorry, this is an important issue for me.
My dad always paid his support, that is how I knew he loved me.
 
Joined
May 26, 2002
Messages
3,953
Originally posted by deh:
I heard this little thing this morning and it scared me a little.

A popular DJ was talking about how it still bothered him that he lost half his possessions. Ok well that didn't bother me because I think they had a No Fault but then he said that let's say a woman goes out and cheats. EVen if she flat out admitted it she would still be entitled to half.

Wouldn't her infidelity void the lifetime contract. She is the one that wants out. I mean granted you can just pull up the "mental cruelty" angle with just about anything but are you telling me that if she just flat out said I don't want to be married, nothing you did just don't want to...she gets half.

That's insane.

Also shouldn't there be a cap??? Granted if she decided to give up her career then that is fair but does she need 10 million to live, opposite end of spectrum a poor guy-if they split it noone lives.
Also depends on the state, as laws vary.

Here in Arizona, it is community property. That means, at the point of marraige (or even once reaching "common law" status) the assets become joint, so the theory would work that he/she isn't "getting" half, they are taking their half with them.

In the case of a coworker of mine, his wife had an affair, he filed for divorce when he found out, she got half of all assets, he got half of all assets, she got zero liability, he got all the liabilities, and he had to pay alimony to "keep her in the same lifestyle" (her boyfriend was living off of disability, far less than he made).

as he put it "it sucks, but I'm happier, and now she's miserable. I win."

Happyness extends beyond material. I would rather lose half than stay married to someone who betrays.
 

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