Hi, my familiy are sort of divorce experts, mum had been divorced twice and Dad is on his 3rd marriage. Most of my cousins have been divorced and my brother has as well. I am an excpetion in my family and have been married for over 18 years.
When we got married we had nothing, everything we have we got together. Had I stayed home and took care of the house and kids instead of working and paying someone to take care of the kids. My husband would have been financially responsible, because:
1. I didn't have the kids on my own and
2. It would have been a marital decision that 1 spouse stays to maintain the hearth and take care of the domestic needs, while the other brought in money.
Many men resent paying anything to the spouses, whether they arethe injured party or not. The stuff that is divided usually is marital assets and few women are better off financially after a divorce.
Exerpt from:
http://www.marriageproject.org/fs0062.html
"A new phenomenon has resulted from no-fault divorce laws: what commentators have called "the feminization of poverty ." The rate of child poverty, for example, is five times higher for children living with single mothers than for children in intact families. In 1992, 53.4% of female-headed households with children subsisted below the poverty line, compared with only 10.7% of all other families with children. Studies show a drop in income for both women and men, noting that women experience an income decline of about 30 percent while the divorced male will experience about a 10 percent drop in income. "
I can tell you that my mum and I lived at the poverty level, while my dad, thrived and prospered and lived an upper middle class life. No bitterness, they had nothing to divide but the kids and no other assets, so she wasn't entitled to future earnings. My dad's child support never increased. It happens.
It is also quite rare that a successful man loses half of everything that he earned himself. Isn't the contribution that the first wife made to the financial success of the marriage, worth something? the wife who works while the husband goes through med/law/engineering etc school. The wife who does the books or manages the store or stands side by side at the beginning of a successful enterprise? the wife who schmoozes with the boss and through social functions helps her husband succeed. The wife who has the kids, raises them, does homework, kisses boo boos and is there all the time, isn't she providing an incredible service and support to the husband, isn't it worth anything?
It isn't a gender thing. If men stayed home, they should be entitled too.
If you have assets coming into the marriage, then protect them with a prenuptial aggreement, but anything you get while in the marriage should be considered a marital asset. If the marriage breaks up, it is only fair to divide the assets.
I have heard many stories where the divorcing spouse has planned to leave long in advance and started hiding, selling, defraying assets so that the one who is to be divorced cannot stake a claim to it. Not fair.
I have heard with my own ears, men who resent any financial assistance they provide for the children because they don't want that b---h to use it for makeup. Unfair
I know someone who didn't want to pay child support so he gave up his parental rights in exchange. You would have to kill me first.
Just because someone leaves, doesn't mean they aren't responsible for the kids welfare, and that means adequate housing, food, clothing entertainment. The kids deserve a life.
I'm done, sorry, this is an important issue for me.
My dad always paid his support, that is how I knew he loved me.