Canada declares war on U.S.


Thread Starter
Sep 10, 2001

Why are there so few Canadians here? I think I figured it out.
After reading this article:

(written by some American), and
having come to the realization that Canada has really crappy weather :( (compared to most of the U.S.) I am officially chucking a snowball across the border aimed at all of you in the States , as an act of protest. While you have spent trillions developing state-of-the-art weapons, we in Canada have secretly been perfecting the art of "snowilogical"warfare. We are building impenetrable snow-forts in our backyards, just waiting for the right moment to strike. :mad:
So I call on all Canadians in TSG (uh, GreenIs?) to throw on your touques, gather some maple syrup, bacon, and a six-pack of Molson Canadian, jump on your dogsled and meet up in Toronto.
We'll stage the attack from there.

We shall be stereotyped, no more! :eek:

The fighting spirit of Canada will not be defeated (at least not until around April or May, whenever the weather improves).
Jul 24, 2001
I knew you Canadiens were up to no good !!!

Luckily I have this official US government map to show me who's our friends and who's not

Jul 22, 2001
Face it, Canada is the 51st state. We just let you think you have your own independence. (Now that should get this thread a little heated! :D )


Aug 20, 2000
Don't want to fuel any fires or melt any igloos, but I'm up for maple syrup, bacon, and a six-pack of Molson Canadian, not necessarily in that order! All those things are good, 'ey? :)
Dec 11, 2001

having traveled overseas a bit its funny when you realize how true that map really is. lol

I'm laughing right now, but its really not funny how many people have that view of the world....


Oct 22, 2000
Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder.
"I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder."

"What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light."

"What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."

Jul 12, 2001
having come to the realization that Canada has really crappy weather (compared to most of the U.S.)
Not everyone here lives in the warm, sunny states. Most times Wisconsin and Minnesota aren't any better then Canada. BTW don't forget Alaska where it's cold plus dark (beat that if you can)I do have to admit that a lot of the really cold crap comes from your way. You want a snowball fight, we'll be glad to give you one. My snowball can beat your snowball.:D :D :D
Jan 30, 2001
"Not everyone here lives in the warm, sunny states. Most times Wisconsin and Minnesota aren't any better then Canada."

We had a post on this much earlier. The weather maps all show that the arctic air comes down from Canada to the USA. My suggestion was to build a wall on the Canadian border to keep that cold air in Canada where it belongs. ;)
Oct 10, 2001
I think Canada is a clear and present threat to the USA. Here's what Fr. Guido Sarducci had to say
on the subject back in the 80's:

"His [Ronald Reagan's] favorite speech of mine, he gave the speech before the joint Houses of Congress, and what it was about was the Central American threat. He made it sound like Central America was going to attack you tomorrow. It was so heavy. The best part: he looks straight at the camera and he says, 'Ladies and gentlemen, Central America is closer to Texas than Texas is to the state of Maine.' I'm shaking in my boots. Let's get out the globe and check it ourselves. So you get the globe and you go Central America - Texas, Texas - Maine, #&%$@#, it is closer!

"Whole idea of the speech was [that] your neighbors are just too darned close to you. So what I was thinking, if I was Ronald Reagan, I wouldn't be so upset about Central America, I would be afraid of Canada. Ladies and gentlemen, I looked it up myself, Canada is closer to the United States than South Bend is to Mishawaka. Look it up yourself. This country is 3,000 miles long, just looming over you, could come down any time and attack you. I know what everybody says, everybody says the same thing:
Canada is your friend, you've been friends for 200 years or so. I say, don't push your luck. Who knew, ten years ago, there would be trouble in Central America? Ten years from now it could be Canada.

"So, if I was Reagan, I'd nuke 'em. I'd do it. One bomb on Toronto.

"I read this fact once, says you could take all the Chinese people, line 'em up four abreast, march them into the sea, and they would never stop. That means, I think, that there's so many of them, I guess they would be multiplying in line...

"...Canada has entire population of 180,000 people. Don't quote me on this exactly. 180, 190, but I know it's not more than 200,000 people. Anyway, you could line up the Canadian people, march them into Lake Erie, could take like an afternoon. You could have lunch, march them into the lake, be home for dinner. I say let's start, what's holding things up here?"
Jul 12, 2001
Cold air? What cold air?
Come to my area any time in January or February when it's below zero, such fun!

Personally, I doubt my sanity every winter. WHY AM I STILL LIVING HERE?
Feb 20, 1999
Well, I have vague memories of that which I like to forget. When its below 65 here, I get a chill!!!
Jul 12, 2001
When its below 65 here, I get a chill!!!
I'll get you a blankie, I just received one as my Christmas gift at work and since it's just so personal I'd be willing to give it up.

I went to Vegas in January one year and it was in the 40's there. It was so funny, I left 20 below so the 40's was like a heat wave to us. But the folks there were so bundled up with knit caps, gloves, winter jackets. Ken and I were walking around with our coats open because we were warm. We were getting looks like we should be committed.

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