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Chicken Soup For The Beer Drinkers Soul

Discussion in 'Random Discussion' started by $teve, Jan 23, 2003.

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  1. $teve

    $teve Thread Starter

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2001
    Messages:
    9,396
    some famous quotes from famous people,to give you that warm sunny feeling about the hard work some of us have to do,slaving tirelessly behind a glass;)



    1. Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." -- Jack Handy

    2. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -- Frank Sinatra

    3. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. -- Ernest Hemingway
    4. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -- Henny Youngman
    5. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? -- Stephen Wright
    6. When we drink, we get buzzed. When we get buzzed, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! --Brian O'Rourke

    7. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -- Benjamin Franklin
    8. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -- Dave Barry

    9. Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
    10. Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
    11. To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group

    ;)
     
  2. SyscoKid

    SyscoKid

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2001
    Messages:
    1,423
    When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. --Dave Barry



    You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
    --Frank Zappa


    Work is the curse of the drinking class.
    --Oscar Wilde
     
  3. LightningBolt

    LightningBolt

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2000
    Messages:
    676
    I'd rather have a bottle in front of me.... than a frontal lobotomy. - Unknown (George Carlin maybe?)
     
  4. SyscoKid

    SyscoKid

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2001
    Messages:
    1,423
    The two sources I encountered today cite Tom Waits, believe it or not.
     
  5. THoey

    THoey

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2001
    Messages:
    3,420
    Here's the complete list I received earlier this week. Sorry for the dupes:


    CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE DRINKER'S SOUL

    Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
    Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all
    of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out
    of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I said to myself, "It is
    better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
    selfish and worry about my liver."
    --- Jack Handy

    I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
    morning,that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
    --- Frank Sinatra

    The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk,
    they're sober.
    --- William Butler Yeats

    Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
    --- Catherine Zandonella

    Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
    --- Anonymous

    A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the
    decency to thank her.
    -- W.C. Fields

    What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
    --- Tee Mans

    When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
    --- Henny Youngman

    Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of
    the time and have the time of your life.
    --- Michelle Mastrolacasa

    I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
    -- Tom Waits

    24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
    --- Stephen Wright

    You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It
    helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons,
    but at the very least you need a beer.
    -- Frank Zappa

    Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol
    has taken out of me.
    -- Winston Churchill

    Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
    --- Benjamin Franklin

    If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
    makes beer shoot out your nose.
    --- Deep Thought, Jack Handy

    Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
    beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
    does not go nearly as well with pizza.
    -- Dave Barry

    The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
    --- Humphrey Bogart

    Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
    -- Kaiser Wilhelm

    And God said, "Let there be vodka!" And He saw that it was good. Then
    God said, "Let there be light!" And then He said, "Whoa - too much light."
    --- Anonymous

    You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
    -- Dean Martin

    Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
    ---Anonymous

    To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support group.
    --- Anonymous

    Beer - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine.
     
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