Chicken Soup For The Beer Drinkers Soul

$teve

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Joined
Oct 9, 2001
Messages
9,396
some famous quotes from famous people,to give you that warm sunny feeling about the hard work some of us have to do,slaving tirelessly behind a glass;)



1. Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." -- Jack Handy

2. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -- Frank Sinatra

3. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. -- Ernest Hemingway
4. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -- Henny Youngman
5. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? -- Stephen Wright
6. When we drink, we get buzzed. When we get buzzed, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! --Brian O'Rourke

7. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -- Benjamin Franklin
8. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -- Dave Barry

9. Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
10. Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
11. To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group

;)
 
Joined
Oct 10, 2001
Messages
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When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. --Dave Barry



You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa


Work is the curse of the drinking class.
--Oscar Wilde
 
Joined
Oct 10, 2001
Messages
1,423
Originally posted by LightningBolt:
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me.... than a frontal lobotomy. - Unknown (George Carlin maybe?)
The two sources I encountered today cite Tom Waits, believe it or not.
 
Joined
Feb 12, 2001
Messages
3,420
Here's the complete list I received earlier this week. Sorry for the dupes:


CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE DRINKER'S SOUL

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all
of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I said to myself, "It is
better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about my liver."
--- Jack Handy

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning,that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--- Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk,
they're sober.
--- William Butler Yeats

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--- Catherine Zandonella

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
--- Anonymous

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the
decency to thank her.
-- W.C. Fields

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--- Tee Mans

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--- Henny Youngman

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of
the time and have the time of your life.
--- Michelle Mastrolacasa

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
-- Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
--- Stephen Wright

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It
helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons,
but at the very least you need a beer.
-- Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol
has taken out of me.
-- Winston Churchill

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--- Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
makes beer shoot out your nose.
--- Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--- Humphrey Bogart

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
-- Kaiser Wilhelm

And God said, "Let there be vodka!" And He saw that it was good. Then
God said, "Let there be light!" And then He said, "Whoa - too much light."
--- Anonymous

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-- Dean Martin

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
---Anonymous

To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support group.
--- Anonymous

Beer - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine.
 

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