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Energy Vampires. Recognize anyone??

Discussion in 'Random Discussion' started by Shadow Bea, Feb 1, 2005.

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  1. Shadow Bea

    Shadow Bea Cherished forever in our hearts Thread Starter

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    This article by Kate Lorenz, a CareerBuilder.com Editor caught my eye. I know, and have known several of these types of enervating people :D I thought it was an interesting article.. Worth sharing.


    Whew, another tough day at work! It's over; you've made it back to the ranch but you're dragging your rear end, feeling used up, burned out and stressed to the max. Are you overworked? Maybe. But, then again, maybe not. The problem could be the energy-sucking co-worker sitting in the cubicle next to you.

    Although it may sound like a character from Dilbert, the energy vampire can take any form, from co-worker to boss to client. And, unlike cartoon characters and make believe monsters, this insidious creature is very real.

    Dr. Judith Orloff, a board-certified psychiatrist and author of "Positive Energy," states flatly, "Energy vampires roam the world sapping our exuberance, an epidemic that medical texts don't address. Some people make us more electric or at ease. Others suck the life right out of us. If you don't get a handle on these life-force lechers, they can become the bane of your existence."

    So pour yourself into a nice hot shower. Wash away the day and then ask yourself if any of the following people identified by Dr. Orloff sound familiar.

    The Sob Sister (or Brother) -- She's a whiner. The world is against her. Someone else is always to blame for her unhappiness. This is the person who rehashes the same old points over and over again, and every solution you suggest is met with a reason why she can't do what you suggest. This type of person will consume your energy the way leaving your headlights on overnight will drain your car battery.

    The Blamer -- Less benign than the Sob Sister, the Blamer is in attack mode. He berates, he guilt-trips and he's often verbally abusive. Where the Sob Sister washes you in negativity, the Blamer punches you with it. In this case, it's not the world's fault; it's your fault.

    The Drama Queen -- Starting every sentence with "Oh my God, you'll never guess what happened," the Drama Queen's life is one of extremes, good or bad. She goes from crisis to crisis feeding off of chaos. Whether she's breaking up with her boyfriend for the third time this week or fretting that the newly found spot on her arm is a sign of her imminent death, nothing just happens to this person, instead, it HAPPENS! She wears us out by serving up a concentrate of emotion.

    The Constant Talker -- A motor mouth. "He's only concerned with himself, his stories, his opinions, his jokes." He wears you down like "a relentlessly yippy Chihuahua who badly needs a walk."

    The Go-for-the-Jugular Fiend -- Envious, insecure or just competitive, this person won't hesitate to cut you down every chance he gets. He is an insult waiting to happen. The worst of all the energy vampires, this type of person should come with a warning label. "Beware. Excessive exposure can cause illnesses from chronic fatigue to depression."

    Many of these energy sappers can, and should, be deleted from your life. Many cannot. From the ones who can't be eliminated, you must protect your energy. Set limits with how or how long you will interact with these people. Be polite, but be resolute. If the Sob Sister, for instance, won't stop her incessant rehashing, redirect the conversation or politely end it.

    Other times the answer is to take a slow deep breath and get centered. "Breathing is a way to quickly reconnect with your life force," according to Orloff. It's a good way to keep someone else's negative energy from causing you burn out.

    In the case of the Constant Talker, it is best to stay neutral and let your needs be known. If the person sitting next to you on the airplane won't shut up, don't hesitate to say nicely, "I hope you can appreciate this is my time to relax. I'd rather be quiet and read."

    If all else fails, it may be time to put up your shield. Literally. Dr. Orloff advises people to imagine being enveloped in a cocoon of white light. This way you're building a buffer zone that repels negative vibes, "a deliberate defense to insulate your energy and create psychological distance."


    Kate Lorenz is the article and advice editor for CareerBuilder.com. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Other writers contributed to this article.
     
  2. sle

    sle

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    This is genius. (y) I work w.a guy who is alternately delightful and passively-aggressively rude and snide, and I was just like, "What'd I DO? How have I upset him?"

    I didn't do anything, which I came to realize after talking to some of the admin assistants. He just totally takes his personal sheeyite out on those he can. So when he got snippy w.me, I asked him, as neutrally as I could, to not take whatever was bothering him out on me. He was all :confused:, but he got the lesson if not the point. He doesn't ask me so much for stuff now because I don't put up with him.

    Grr on vampyres!
     
  3. Shadow Bea

    Shadow Bea Cherished forever in our hearts Thread Starter

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    So true :)

    I have met several of the above people :p




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  4. Mulderator

    Mulderator

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    Linskyjack and the tinhatters in Civ Debate are Energy Vampires--they'll suck whatever positive energy there is right out of a discussion! ;)
     
  5. paperladee

    paperladee

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    We've got the Sob Sister, Drama Queen, Blamer, Constant Talker and Go-for-the-jugular all rolled up into one at our office. Boy is she a pill!
     
  6. MSM Hobbes

    MSM Hobbes

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    "The Go-for-the-Jugular Fiend" - Ha!!! At first I thought it said, The Go-for-the-Jugular Friend... ;) And that fit just perfect for a former friend/current coworker. Used to work at separate plants, and we were quite the good buds. After being relocated, now work at same plant. And, sheeeeet... did our friendship go out the door. Fast! :( Backstabbing, motormouth, etc. Would sell/step all over his own mom, just to win. Its all about him. Any attempt at team, that is just a cover to make himself look better. Jeoulosy, insecurity, and immaturity run through his veins. Quite the intelligent guy, smart, knows his stuff - but, what he doesn't know, is a very very good BS'er. Has teflon for skin - very little ever sticks to him, and when it may, he's the best at turning lemons into lemonaid. Amazing... :eek: What's bad, is there are only two engineers at this plant - him, and I. Have been told by many here that as soon as I walked in, he was very jeoulous. So, our friendship was gone by his actions. Energy to this day is still sucked from many there... :( Life is too friggin short for that kind of crap.

    Another article by Dr. Orloff is at: http://www.beliefnet.com/story/144/story_14434_1.html

    Her home page can be found thru:
    http://www.drjudithorloff.com/ap_energyVampires.asp
     
  7. shadowcat

    shadowcat

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    Great article, Shadow Bea! It describes some people to a "T". I have a resident Constant Talker in our office that I politely ignore by looking/being really busy. Luckily, my co-worker humors him until I interrupt with work-related matters to extricate him from the conversation. Too bad my co-worker can't do the same thing since he's known Constant Talker for many years.
     
  8. angelize56

    angelize56 Always remembered in our hearts

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    Hi Bea! I don't work with any of the listed....but my neighbor is all of them balled up into one gossipy, back stabbing, brown nosed, butt kissing bundle! ;) And I'm not being mean...she is all that! (n) It's a shame her whole life is spent trying to get any neighbor she can in trouble! She pits neighbor against neighbor...she bands together some neighbors against others and starts petitions to get others evicted....she sits outside and smokes...but everyone knows her eyes are lurking around...looking for prey! It's really pathetic her life is like that! (n) I can only imagine what she's like on her job...she works in a group home for mentally distrubed adults! *Shakes Head*
     
  9. Shadow Bea

    Shadow Bea Cherished forever in our hearts Thread Starter

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    OMG we know the same guy!! ;) just kidding of coarse, :D but I have known guys just like that not only do they drain you .. They can sometimes cause a lot of trouble for you with their jealous lies.. Harder to disprove then to tell for sure!!
    The unfortunate thing is people who think that everything someone else has ..takes away from and somehow lessens them!

    I also have known several women like that.. the insidious sneaky ones that are like the woman Eve in ALL ABOUT EVE :D who come in like friends but are secretly looking for a way to bring you down or undermine you!
    thanks for the links :D

    Marlene .. Funny you should mention that LOL I thought about your story when I saw this article




    Mulder I don't know Linskyjack at all so can't comment on him :) but there are a lot of leaches in CIV Deb for sure!


    Hey Shadow Cat :D we have the same first screen name LOL (PS mine comes from my cats name) :p


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  10. AKA Arizona

    AKA Arizona

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    I have a woman in my office that fits in everyone of those categories [​IMG] , What would she be defined as? Plus we have people come in everyday with SOME KINDA ISSUE [​IMG]
    Its a wonder I can even function when I get home................. :cool:
     
  11. Shadow Bea

    Shadow Bea Cherished forever in our hearts Thread Starter

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    Ehhhhh :rolleyes: a nut case! Poor You!




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  12. Shadow Bea

    Shadow Bea Cherished forever in our hearts Thread Starter

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    This is something I wrote one for a friend who was having a problem with a woman in her office LOL it's kind of appropriate :D




    Don't Let the Monsters Suck You Dry

    Don't let the monsters suck you dry
    Stand right up, and spit in their eye.
    Smile and very sweetly say
    "Is sweetie having a bad, bad day?"

    You know it has nothing to do with you,
    you know it's her, and she knows it too.
    Walk away and hum a tune
    she's the one looking like a loon.

    If she lashes out at you
    smile and sweetly say
    "You look like you're short on smiles today
    Let me send one of mine your way."

    She won't know where you're coming from
    and won't know how to be.
    It works for idiots,
    it works for jerks
    it also works for me.​


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