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Found it! Windows 2000 source code

Discussion in 'Random Discussion' started by deh, Apr 13, 2004.

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  1. deh

    deh Thread Starter

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2002
    Messages:
    7,809
    /* Source Code Windows 2000 */

    #include "win31.h"
    #include "win95.h"
    #include "win98.h"
    #include "workst~1.h"
    #include "evenmore.h"
    #include "oldstuff.h"
    #include "billrulz.h"
    #include "monopoly.h"
    #include "backdoor.h"
    #define INSTALL = HARD

    char make_prog_look_big(16000000);
    void main()
    {
    while(!CRASHED)
    {
    display_copyright_message();
    display_bill_rules_message();
    do_nothing_loop();

    if (first_time_installation)
    {
    make_100_megabyte_swapfile();
    do_nothing_loop();
    totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
    search_and_destroy_the_rest_of-OS2();
    make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
    disable_Netscape();
    disable_RealPlayer();
    disable_Lotus_Products();
    hang_system();
    } //if
    write_something(anything);
    display_copyright_message();
    do_nothing_loop();
    do_some_stuff();

    if (still_not_crashed)
    {
    display_copyright_message();
    do_nothing_loop();
    basically_run_windows_31();
    do_nothing_loop();
    } // if
    } //while

    if (detect_cache())
    disable_cache();

    if (fast_cpu())
    {
    set_wait_states(lots);
    set_mouse(speed,very_slow);
    set_mouse(action,jumpy);
    set_mouse(reaction,sometimes);
    } //if

    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
    printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");

    if (system_ok())
    crash(to_dos_prompt)
    else
    system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp",O_CREATE);

    while(something)
    {
    sleep(5);
    get_user_input();
    sleep(5);
    act_on_user_input();
    sleep(5);
    } // while
    create_general_protection_fault();

    } // main
     
  2. barfly

    barfly

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2003
    Messages:
    1,693
    Absolutly brilliant! (y) :D
     
  3. Trooper_fan

    Trooper_fan

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2003
    Messages:
    800
    What he said... that's so funny!! :D
     
  4. pronute

    pronute

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2003
    Messages:
    3,956
    Your code is missing a random number generator before each subroutine. What's W2K good for if it doesn't have a random lock up for no apparent reason? :rolleyes: :D
     
  5. deh

    deh Thread Starter

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2002
    Messages:
    7,809
    :D

    perhaps this was the "original" code and that was "fixed" and added in a Windows update. :)
     
  6. SexyTech

    SexyTech

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2002
    Messages:
    8,460
    You forgot the one vital piece of code...


    BUGS=ON

    :D :D :D
     
  7. sleekluxury

    sleekluxury

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2003
    Messages:
    3,752
    Yep, that's the one :D (y)
     
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