$teve
Thread Starter
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2001
- Messages
- 9,396
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of
forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,
flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not
from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a
positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a
fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was
revealed
that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20
miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as
quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large
dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of
the
forest fire. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper
in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip
bucket 300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of
bed.
___________________________________________
Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the
kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into
gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it
burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in
the
room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the
shattered
patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a
fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the
paramedics and escort them to her husband. While the attendants were
loading
her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside.
She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels
and
tossed them into the toilet. After being treated and released, the man
returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to
his
motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a
cigarette
while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt
between
his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his
trousers
blown away and burns on
his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The
same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down
the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn
himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the
stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs,
breaking his arm. ______________________________________________
Still having a bad day?
Just remember, it could be worse. ..
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in
Alaska was $88, At a special ceremony two of the most expensively
saved
animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause
from
onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
_____________________________________________
Still think you are having a bad day?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in
two
places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his walkman.
_______________________________________________
STILL think you're having a bad day?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs
to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs
broke
loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly The two
hopeless
protesters were trampled to death.
____________________________________________
What?! STILL having a bad day??
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
It
came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
bomb,
he opened it and w as blown to bits.
There,that brightens it up a little
forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,
flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not
from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a
positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a
fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was
revealed
that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20
miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as
quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large
dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of
the
forest fire. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper
in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip
bucket 300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of
bed.
___________________________________________
Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the
kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into
gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it
burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in
the
room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the
shattered
patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a
fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the
paramedics and escort them to her husband. While the attendants were
loading
her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside.
She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels
and
tossed them into the toilet. After being treated and released, the man
returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to
his
motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a
cigarette
while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt
between
his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his
trousers
blown away and burns on
his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The
same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down
the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn
himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the
stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs,
breaking his arm. ______________________________________________
Still having a bad day?
Just remember, it could be worse. ..
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in
Alaska was $88, At a special ceremony two of the most expensively
saved
animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause
from
onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
_____________________________________________
Still think you are having a bad day?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in
two
places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his walkman.
_______________________________________________
STILL think you're having a bad day?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs
to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs
broke
loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly The two
hopeless
protesters were trampled to death.
____________________________________________
What?! STILL having a bad day??
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
It
came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
bomb,
he opened it and w as blown to bits.
There,that brightens it up a little