(funny)folks havin a bad day

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of
forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,
flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not
from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a
positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a
fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was
revealed
that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20
miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as
quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large
dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of
the
forest fire. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper
in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip
bucket 300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of
bed.
___________________________________________
Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the
kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into
gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it
burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in
the
room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the
shattered
patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a
fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the
paramedics and escort them to her husband. While the attendants were
loading
her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside.
She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels
and
tossed them into the toilet. After being treated and released, the man
returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to
his
motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a
cigarette
while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt
between
his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his
trousers
blown away and burns on
his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The
same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down
the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn
himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the
stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs,
breaking his arm. ______________________________________________

Still having a bad day?
Just remember, it could be worse. ..
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in
Alaska was $88, At a special ceremony two of the most expensively
saved
animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause
from
onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
_____________________________________________

Still think you are having a bad day?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in
two
places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his walkman.
_______________________________________________
STILL think you're having a bad day?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs
to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs
broke
loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly The two
hopeless
protesters were trampled to death.
____________________________________________
What?! STILL having a bad day??
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
It
came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
bomb,
he opened it and w as blown to bits.
There,that brightens it up a little

 

I know I shouldn't laugh, but some of that is very funny. I like the walkman incident! That poor man who went out for a nice days diving! isn't that just awful.

 

the first one about the guy in scuba gear is false. I am not sure about the rest.

 

Man allegedly duped by con artists arrested

He tried to wire money from forged check, police say

By Eun Lee Koh, Globe Staff Correspondent, 1/14/2003

Sherborn man who police say ''got used'' now faces charges after authorities say he deposited a forged check and attempted to wire money to Nigeria - all part of a widespread scam that dupes hundreds of Americans a year into sending millions of dollars to overseas accounts.



Brian L. Frechette was arrested at a Sovereign Bank branch in Wellesley on Dec. 17 for allegedly trying to wire $10,000 to an account in Nigeria from a forged check he had deposited several days earlier at another of the bank's branches in Sherborn, according to police.

Bank officials at the Sherborn branch closed Frechette's account after determining that the check, for $65,325.69, was a forgery, police said. When he tried to wire money to the Bank of Nigeria from a Sovereign branch in Wellesley, bank officials in Wellesley notified the police.

Bank officials declined to comment and referred questions to the police.

Frechette, who has been charged with larceny over $250, is scheduled for a pretrial conference Feb. 4 in Natick District Court. He declined to comment yesterday when reached by telephone.

''He was a poor soul who got used,'' said Sherborn Police Detective Richard Crosson, who is investigating the case.

''I think he thought he could make a quick buck, not knowing that the people on the other side are con artists,'' Crosson said.

Crosson added that Frechette has cooperated with authorities from the moment he was arrested, and has no prior record.

Police said the $65,000 check to Frechette was from the Brown Chevrolet dealership in Devine, Texas, but that records at the Texas business show that no check in that amount was written to Frechette.

Authorities compared the check Frechette deposited to a legitimate check from the dealership and determined Frechette's check was a forgery, police said.

Sherborn police said he also tried unsuccessfully to wire money from Sovereign Bank branches in Sherborn and Holliston, but was rejected because the check had not yet cleared. As a result, he could face additional charges in those towns.

Agents from the Secret Service, which monitors the country's financial systems and watches for counterfeiting of US currency, interviewed Frechette shortly after his arrest and are also investigating the case, according to John O'Hara, a special agent in charge of the Secret Service's Boston field office.

O'Hara would not comment on specifics of the case, but said the scam has been around for at least 10 years, and has become more widespread as a result of the Internet. The Secret Service has agents in London and in Nigeria trying to track down the perpetrators, according to O'Hara.

The scam, which originated as letters sent to US residents on forged letterheads, is now mostly spread through e-mail, he said. They come in many forms but share a similar premise: Help a rich foreigner move millions of dollars into his homeland account, usually in Africa, and in turn, the person who helps is promised a share of the millions.

In the e-mail that Frechette received, Sherborn police said, a Nigerian official asked Frechette to help him cash a check from the Brown Chevrolet dealership in Texas, and wire money to an account at the Bank of Nigeria. Frechette was promised a portion of the money he deposited, authorities said.

Wellesley police, who initially interviewed Frechette, said he told them he was trying to wire money to a bank in Nigeria, but added that he did not seem to understand that he was involved in a common scam, according to Wellesley police Detective Lieutenant Wayne Cunningham. That department transferred the case to the Sherborn Police Department upon learning that the original check was deposited there, Cunningham said.

''We've seen very rich, very intelligent people fall prey to these scams,'' O'Hara said. ''It's easier to prosecute them if we know that they've entered the scam knowing it was larcenous, but sometimes, these people really thought it was a good way to make money. Usually, we tell people that if it sounds too good to be true, then you know the rest.''

 

godd one sysco.................i had one of those nigerian scam letter a couple of years back

 

This one is true.
************************************************


STATE OF MICHIGAN
Reply to:
GRAND RAPIDS DISTRICT OFFICE
STATE OFFICE BUILDING 6TH FLOOR
350 OTTAWA NW
GRAND RAPIDS MI 49503-2341
JOHN ENGLER, Governor
DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL QUALITY
HOLLISTER BUILDING, PO BOX 30473, LANSING MI 48909-7973
INTERNET: http://www.deq.state.mi us
RUSSELL J. HARDING, Director
December 17, 1997
CERTIFIED

Mr. Ryan DeVries
2088 Dagget
Pierson, MI 49339

Dear Mr. DeVries:

SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023-1 T11N, R10W, Sec. 20, Montcalm Count-,),

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent
unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files show that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301,. Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially, failed during a recent rain event, causing debris dams and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all unauthorized activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the strewn channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998. Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.

Failure to comply with this request, or any further unauthorized activity on the site, may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.


Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative
Land and Water Management Division
616-356-0269
dlp:bjc
cc: LWMD, Lansing
MontcaImCEA
Pierson Township
Lieutenant Mary C. Sherzer, DNR LED

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reply:
Stephen and Rosalind Tvedten
2530 Hayes Street
Marne, MI 49435-9751
616-677-1261
616-677-1262 Fax
[email protected]
1/6/98

David L. Price
District Representative
Land and Water Management Division
Grand Rapids District Office
State Office Bldg., 6th Floor
350 Ottawa, N.W.
Grand Rapids, MI 49503-2341

Dear Mr. Price:

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N, R10W, Sec 20; Montcalm County

Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to. You sent out a great deal of carbon copies to a lot of people, but you neglected to include their addresses. You will, therefore, have to send them a copy of my response.

First of all, Mr. Ryan DeVries is not the legal landowner and/or contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan - I am the legal owner and a couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, nor authorize their dam project, I think they would be highly offended you call their skillful use of natural building materials "debris". I would like to challenge you to attempt to emulate their dam project any dam time and/or any dam place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no dam way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your dam request the beavers first must fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity, my first dam question to you is: are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or do you require all dam beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, please send me completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated. My first concern is - aren't the dam beavers entitled to dam legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said dam representation - so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.

The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing dam flooding is proof we should leave the dam Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the dam stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition - contact the dam beavers - but if you are going to arrest them (they obviously did not pay any dam attention to your dam letter -- being unable to read English) - be sure you read them their dam Miranda first. As for me, I am not going to cause more dam flooding or dam debris jams by interfering with these dam builders. If you want to hurt these dam beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your dam letter and this response to PETA. If your dam Department seriously finds all dams of this nature inherently hazardous and truly will not permit their existence in this dam State - I seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam policy - or once again both I and the Spring Pond Beavers will scream prejudice!

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their dam unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I to live and enjoy Spring Pond. So, as far as I and the beavers are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more dam elevated enforcement action now. Why wait until 1/31/98? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then, and there will be no dam way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental quality (health) problem; bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the dam beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!)

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.


Sincerely,

Stephen L.Tvedten

xc: PETA

 

Imagine my surprise when this thread came up after a search of the forums for the word "ingenuity".

Definitely worthy of a bump!