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Help immigrate from Zaire to US

Discussion in 'Random Discussion' started by grandpaw7, Nov 25, 2001.

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  1. grandpaw7

    grandpaw7 Thread Starter

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    I work with a refugee family from Zaire (mentoring the children). The mother wants to help her sister come here from Zaire, but the sister needs $2000 to do it. I am willing to loan $1000 if she can find a source for the remaining $1000. Does anyone know of a possible source I might contact or of any leads I might pursue? Thanks, grandpaw
     
  2. cadaver queen

    cadaver queen

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    grandpa7,
    I might ..Have you tried an organization like Catholic Charities..
    Please private message me with info about where she intends to live , if she has an education/career or children because there are all sorts of programs out there, just need to find the niche..
    Does she have a situation that would make it necessary for her to leave the country immediately or would she be willing to go to say, Canada first..
    I would definitely start her paperwork as soon as possible seeing as there are forms of legislature coming up in Congress to severely limit the immigration quota..
    Siobahn
     
  3. Max19

    Max19 Account Disabled

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    I would strongly caution against giving money directly to a needy family. The world is full of people who have been scammed this way. Sorry to be blunt, grandpaw7, but the elderly are especially vulnerable.

    Take cadaver queen's advice and help them find a charity to work with. Give the money to that charity. If they don't like the idea of a charity helping out, take your money, and run as fast as you can the other way. It's a big red flag.
     
  4. grandpaw7

    grandpaw7 Thread Starter

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    Max, an seventy-nine year old friend of mine just bought a seventeen hundred dollar recumbent bike. If I did that, I would really feel as though I had gotten scammed. I expect there are a lot of scammers out there. But if you profile the kind of people who get scammed, you'd find that I am quite far removed from the catagory. See, for me, it's the young people who get scammed. Scammed with a newer car; a bigger house since Joe, my drinking buddy, got one; A bigger diamond ring and more expensive wedding as those that might make the marriage a better one; hundred dollar seats at the football game because L'Oreal says I'm worth it, plus maybe it's something to tell my friends about, and maybe some of my enemies will see me there; fifty dollar wine, not because it tastes better but because it costs more; a five hundred dollar suit, not because it's warmer or looks better, but because I deserve the best; a vacation in Europe, not because it's more relaxing but because it's more prestigious; etc. Me--I much prefer my trips to Mexico and Guatemala, not to relax on the beach but to live with a poor peasant family and enjoy their beautiful warmth and simplicity. The enchantment of the orient? or Paris? I prefer to be enchanted by the beautiful children I am privileged to try to help, but who help me much more than I help them. I can't think of a better way to turn money into happiness rather than into a bank account than by sharing it with those people that society is dedicated to scamming. I'd have a hard time paying "my children" back for all the pleasure they have given me. Your letter makes me mighty glad I am the way I am. Take a little time off, sometime, Max, and work at a soup kitchen, or volunteer at the hospice or "old folks" home, or, my favorite, mentor some children. It might make life a lot less fearful for you. As the saying goes, Max, the most important things in life are not things. grandpaw
     
  5. cadaver queen

    cadaver queen

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    grandpaw7,
    I think Max was just showing concern for you ,and your welfare.
    It is hard to hear the tone of the language when only presented with the written word..
    Your generosity with time , spirit, and compassion are an inspiration to us all . I appreciate what you do, as I am sure the many that you help do, as well!!
    Thank you for your wisdom and sharing your life experiences because that is some times all we have to give ..I value your gift and hope others will do the same..
    Be Well,
    Siobahn
     
  6. Max19

    Max19 Account Disabled

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    I think you need to evaluate the reasons behind your generosity, grandpaw7. It sounds an awful like like you just want to look better than someone else. It's not necessary to live a life of poverty in order to be charitable. Don't assume you're the only one in the world who donates time and money. Definitely don't make assumptions about my charity. You know nothing about it.

    I have a genuine concern for people who are generous. I'd hate to see anyone, even you, get taken in a scam.
     
  7. Kirkland

    Kirkland

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    Originally posted by Max19
    "I think you need to evaluate the reasons behind your generosity, grandpaw7. It sounds an awful like like you just want to look better than someone else. It's not necessary to live a life of poverty in order to be charitable."

    You're not being charitable if you feel no discomfort for the ones whom you help.

    "Don't assume you're the only one in the world who donates time and money."

    Please.

    "Definitely don't make assumptions about my charity. You know nothing about it."

    Again Max, grandpaw7 still sounds like someone you are not: a person who really gives a damn.

    "I have a genuine concern for people who are generous. I'd hate to see anyone, even you, get taken in a scam."

    You can't be "scammed" when your heart is open. Besides, Grandpaw7 is a better man than both of us.
     
  8. SavvyLady

    SavvyLady

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    I've got to say this.... What he chooses to do is GrandPaws choice.. Just like we come here to help others & donate our time.
    Its up to him how generous he wants to be.

    More power to you Grandpaw.


    Savvy :)
     
  9. Dark Star

    Dark Star

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    Grandpaw7,

    CQ, said it best......

    "Your generosity with time , spirit, and compassion are an inspiration to us all . I appreciate what you do, as I am sure the many that you help do, as well!!
    Thank you for your wisdom and sharing your life experiences because that is some times all we have to give ..I value your gift and hope others will do the same.. "

    Kirkland makes a good point and a very wise observation

    "You can't be "scammed" when your heart is open. Besides, Grandpaw7 is a better man than both of us."

    .....all three of us I have to include myself as well.

    Savvy just said,

    "More power to you Grandpaw."

    I agree with that as well........

    DS
     
  10. combsdon

    combsdon

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    I'm with you grandpaw. Seems to me that Max needs missed your whole point. Keep up the good work!
     
  11. Max19

    Max19 Account Disabled

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    "You can't be "scammed" when your heart is open."

    It's good to know none of the people who donated their life's savings to the PTL were scammed. After all, their hearts were open.

    Here's a charity for your open heart.
    http://forums.techguy.org/showthread.php?s=&threadid=59749

    Again, you know nothing about my charity. I don't feel the need to boast in public about the good things I do. I know in my heart that I do what's right. People who feel the need to shout it from the rooftops are the most self-centered, arrogant, and non-charitable people in the world. The truth is between me and God.
     
  12. JewisHeritage

    JewisHeritage

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    Max...there is "wisdom in years" & even "greater wisdom" in the suggestions offered by Grandpaw7....When I read this post I must stop & wonder who is being "arrogant" here.....and who is being "fearful" of the truth!

    Grandpaw7 was asking for advice on "sources & leads"... he was not "shouting from a rooftop" nor was he asking for your "blessing"!

    If you knew anything about CQ & the work she has done...you'd had never posted to this thread!

    Count your losses & move on Max19......
     
  13. grandpaw7

    grandpaw7 Thread Starter

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    I didn't mean to target you personally, Max, though I did mean to target your apparent ideology. If I misinterpreted your ideology, Max, I apologize.

    The thing is, Max, you know nothing about my vulnerability to a scam, or about my economic circumstances, or about the family I know quite well and am trying to help out. It seems to me that without that knowledge, you are hardly in a position to give wothwhile adivse as to what I should do. It seems to me that you are making judgements based on your prejudices rather than my facts, which are unknoown to you. Would you not classify your need to give advise under these circumstances as arrogant? While I agree with CQ that, among other things, you were trying to be helpful, my experience is that most of the people who give bad advise are, in part, trying to be helpful.

    You seem to feel quite strongly about not giving help to a needy family for fear the family may be scamming the giver. Possibly, you have had or witnessed experiences that lead you to that view. On the other hand, I am strongly driven by the desire to help this family, and I have had and witnessed experiences which have led to that. I much prefer to live my life based on my own experiences than based on yours and I'm sure you feel the same way.

    I agree with you that you have no need to "prove" that you are a charitable person, though I find fault with the word "boast". I have hardly shared my experiences here, but I have often been inspired by wonderful people who do share their experiences with others. Haven't you?

    You state: "I think you need to evaluate the reasons behind your generosity, grandpaw7." I am hardly altruistic. It's true that it makes me feel quite good to think I might have helped other people. But the main reason I do what I do is because of the pleasure I get out of it. I don't go to Mexico instead of Paris because I want to deny myself but rather because I want to indulge myself; I simply get more pleasure and satisfaction. I darn sure don't go there to help them, but rather to have them help me. While I leave inspired, they hardly have reason to be inspired by me.

    You state: "It sounds an awful like like you just want to look better than someone else." Well, I do sometimes have ego problems and want to explain to people what a nice guy I am. But I don't think that is the case here. The things I mentioned here hardly qualify me for any merit.

    The biggest regret I have in life is that it has taken me so many years to devote a worthwhile bit of my life to "helping others"; I put that in quotes because I strongly believe the the person I am helping most is me. I feel very uneasy when a person commends the rather feeble activities I engage in; after all, what is so commendable about doing that which you most enjoy? My second biggest regret is that even now I can't hold a candle to so many people I have come in contact with who have the same sort of aspirations that I do.

    You state: "It's not necessary to live a life of poverty in order to be charitable." Who's living in poverty? A third regret I have is my selfishness in living so much better than so many people I see and deal with. Yes, I enjoy the poverty of the people in Mexio and Guatemala, but, as the indigenous often say to the volunteers, "you can leave any time you want to, a choice few of us have; and, meanwhile, you're doing something that makes you feel good about yourself." I don't live in poverty, but in my own experience the people, like volunteers, who live in poverty by choice are the cream of the human crop. I wish I were like them.

    Most important, there are so many people devoting themselves so much more generously to the disadvantaged than I am that I am ashamed. And since I do the little things I do because they give me so much pleasure and satisfaction, give deeper and more stimulating meaning to my life, it can hardly be classified as hardship, charity or altruism, though I will say that I feel love in my heart for those I work with.

    I got a good chuckle out of your statement: "I have a genuine concern for people who are generous. I'd hate to see anyone, even you, get taken in a scam." Even me? Gee, Max, you're nothing but heart.

    About your statement that "People who feel the need to shout it from the rooftops are the most self-centered, arrogant, and non-charitable people in the world", isn't that just a bit strong, as though you are motivated more by anger than good sense? And, anyhow, I'm too old to get on rooftops any more, though I do admit that I shout quite a bit (you know how we hard of hearing people are, we think that if we can't hear you, then you can't hear us).

    Remember, Max, I didn't start this thread for the purpose of trying to get somebody to change. That was your idea.

    grandpaw
     
  14. SavvyLady

    SavvyLady

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    Well said... !
     
  15. MacFromOK

    MacFromOK

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    "A thief won't trust anyone"...

    Go get 'em grandpaw. :)
     
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