I didn't mean to target you personally, Max, though I did mean to target your apparent ideology. If I misinterpreted your ideology, Max, I apologize.
The thing is, Max, you know nothing about my vulnerability to a scam, or about my economic circumstances, or about the family I know quite well and am trying to help out. It seems to me that without that knowledge, you are hardly in a position to give wothwhile adivse as to what I should do. It seems to me that you are making judgements based on your prejudices rather than my facts, which are unknoown to you. Would you not classify your need to give advise under these circumstances as arrogant? While I agree with CQ that, among other things, you were trying to be helpful, my experience is that most of the people who give bad advise are, in part, trying to be helpful.
You seem to feel quite strongly about not giving help to a needy family for fear the family may be scamming the giver. Possibly, you have had or witnessed experiences that lead you to that view. On the other hand, I am strongly driven by the desire to help this family, and I have had and witnessed experiences which have led to that. I much prefer to live my life based on my own experiences than based on yours and I'm sure you feel the same way.
I agree with you that you have no need to "prove" that you are a charitable person, though I find fault with the word "boast". I have hardly shared my experiences here, but I have often been inspired by wonderful people who do share their experiences with others. Haven't you?
You state: "I think you need to evaluate the reasons behind your generosity, grandpaw7." I am hardly altruistic. It's true that it makes me feel quite good to think I might have helped other people. But the main reason I do what I do is because of the pleasure I get out of it. I don't go to Mexico instead of Paris because I want to deny myself but rather because I want to indulge myself; I simply get more pleasure and satisfaction. I darn sure don't go there to help them, but rather to have them help me. While I leave inspired, they hardly have reason to be inspired by me.
You state: "It sounds an awful like like you just want to look better than someone else." Well, I do sometimes have ego problems and want to explain to people what a nice guy I am. But I don't think that is the case here. The things I mentioned here hardly qualify me for any merit.
The biggest regret I have in life is that it has taken me so many years to devote a worthwhile bit of my life to "helping others"; I put that in quotes because I strongly believe the the person I am helping most is me. I feel very uneasy when a person commends the rather feeble activities I engage in; after all, what is so commendable about doing that which you most enjoy? My second biggest regret is that even now I can't hold a candle to so many people I have come in contact with who have the same sort of aspirations that I do.
You state: "It's not necessary to live a life of poverty in order to be charitable." Who's living in poverty? A third regret I have is my selfishness in living so much better than so many people I see and deal with. Yes, I enjoy the poverty of the people in Mexio and Guatemala, but, as the indigenous often say to the volunteers, "you can leave any time you want to, a choice few of us have; and, meanwhile, you're doing something that makes you feel good about yourself." I don't live in poverty, but in my own experience the people, like volunteers, who live in poverty by choice are the cream of the human crop. I wish I were like them.
Most important, there are so many people devoting themselves so much more generously to the disadvantaged than I am that I am ashamed. And since I do the little things I do because they give me so much pleasure and satisfaction, give deeper and more stimulating meaning to my life, it can hardly be classified as hardship, charity or altruism, though I will say that I feel love in my heart for those I work with.
I got a good chuckle out of your statement: "I have a genuine concern for people who are generous. I'd hate to see anyone, even you, get taken in a scam." Even me? Gee, Max, you're nothing but heart.
About your statement that "People who feel the need to shout it from the rooftops are the most self-centered, arrogant, and non-charitable people in the world", isn't that just a bit strong, as though you are motivated more by anger than good sense? And, anyhow, I'm too old to get on rooftops any more, though I do admit that I shout quite a bit (you know how we hard of hearing people are, we think that if we can't hear you, then you can't hear us).
Remember, Max, I didn't start this thread for the purpose of trying to get somebody to change. That was your idea.
grandpaw
