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If Biblical Headlines were written by Today's Liberal Media

Discussion in 'Random Discussion' started by deh, Sep 22, 2004.

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  1. deh

    deh Thread Starter

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2002
    Messages:
    7,809
    If Biblical Headlines were written by Today's Liberal Media -------------------------------------------

    On Red Sea crossing: WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE Pursuing Environmentalists Killed

    On David vs. Goliath: HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock

    On Elijah on Mt. Carmel: FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY 400 Killed

    On the birth of Christ: HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple

    On feeding the 5,000: PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH Disciples Mystified Over Behavior

    On healing the 10 lepers: LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED "Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy

    On healing of the Gadarene demoniac: MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE Local Farmer's Investment Lost

    On raising Lazarus from the dead: FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK Reading of Will to be Delayed
     
  2. Paquadez

    Paquadez

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2003
    Messages:
    8,765

    Or, of course, if written by such as Murdoch's media empire..............

    On Red Sea crossing: Bechtel successfully build World's first water barrier: CEO earns $1 billion bonus!

    On David vs. Goliath: Little guy hits back at urban scumball: popular opinion votes him Mayor of local city.

    On Elijah on Mt. Carmel: JPL send fire driven IPV into space: already booking excursions, shares rocket!

    On the birth of Christ: Huge opportunity for budget motel accommadation in Nazareth. Travel Lodge said to be surveying sites. Shares rocket!

    On feeding the 5,000: McDonalds and Burger King protest at unsafe non-licensed fast food vendor. Prosecutions likely.

    On healing the 10 lepers: Johns Hopkins cast doubt on apparent magic cures: whole alternative therapy biz threatened by FDA enquiry.

    On healing of the Gadarene demoniac: Madman claims cure by faith healer. Sectioned under mental health legislation. Pork bellies drop on Chicago Comex.

    On raising Lazarus from the dead: Social Security payments for miracle man said to be restored to life witheld. FBI investigate suspected identity theft.


    Paq
    :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
     
  3. valley

    valley

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2002
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    19,134
    :D gotta love it.
     
  4. Big-K

    Big-K

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    Nov 22, 2003
    Messages:
    6,052
    Im sorry, but that thing on rock music just gets me. I hate it when people say something about that. Rap is more likely the culprite here.

    The others are so true though
     
  5. Mulder_Lite

    Mulder_Lite

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2004
    Messages:
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    deh--Paq doesn't think the media is liberal. He thinks he's getting fair and balanced news coverage there in the Liberal Kingdom! ;)
     
  6. celticsong22

    celticsong22

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2004
    Messages:
    2,818
    Due To Cutbacks In Prison Funds, Condemned Convicts Will Carry Their Own Crosses To The Execution Site, Effective Immediately.

    Pontious Pilate Hailed In Rome For Zero Tolerance Laws.

    This Just In- Middle Eastern Scribes Report Evidence That Frequent Hand Washing Effectively Removes Sin!
     
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