Joke time!!!

Servant of Eru

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Sep 13, 2003
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A kindergarten class is having show and tell with an assigned topic. The topic is something exciting that happened over the summer. The finally get down to the last little boy and he walks up in front of the class and draws this on the chalkboard:

.

The teacher asks him what it was, he told her it's a period. She said "I know that but what's exciting about a period?!!"

The kid responds "Heck if I know, but my sister missed one in July; my dad had a heart attack, and the man next door shot himself!!!" :eek:
 

Servant of Eru

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Joined
Sep 13, 2003
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There was a stage hypnotist performing at Carnegie Hall, and before he starts he gives himself and his chosen tool an introduction.

"Now unlike most stage hypnotists who hypnotize two or three people on the stage at a time, I'm going to hypnotize the whole audience. How will I do this you may ask? I have here in my pocked a gold pocket watch, endowed by a Swami in India with mystical properties. It's been in my family for almost a century."

After saying this he starts to slowly and rythmically swing the watch back and forth...back...and forth...back...and...forth....back...and.. Then he dropped the watch.

"Sh!t!!!" he exclaimed!

It took them two weeks to clean up Carnegie Hall!!! :eek:
 

Servant of Eru

Thread Starter
Joined
Sep 13, 2003
Messages
2,106
A panda walks into one of those wacky new age oriental restaurants and orders a plate of steamed bamboo. He waits for his order, eats it, then proceed to walk out. When the waiter protested his leaving, and blocked the doorway, the panda pulled out a gun shot him, and left over his still warm, dead body.

The manager follows the panda out of the restaurant, and says to him "You can't just go around shooting people. WTF do you think you're doing?!!"

The panda replies "Sure I can, go look up the definition of "Panda" in the dictionary Ok?"

The manager goes home that night still puzzled about what the panda had said, looks up "Panda" in a dictionary and reads the definition:

Panda (n)

Eats Bamboo shoots and leaves.

:p:D:p:D:p
 

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