My favorite song of all time, of course....Del Shannon's 'Runaway'. Hearing it for the first time made me realize I was Mad as a Hatter....and not really mind much.
I guess the second one would be "I Wish It Would Rain" by the Temptations. In a way, that song, or at least the boy who sang it for me, saved my life, I think. I believe it was 1968 ( might have been '67) and I was anorexic. I was down to 83 pounds and in high school, either as a Junior or Senior, since I'm unsure of the year. I had figured out that what was required to stay popular was to stay beautiful...and thin....and as long as I kept my mouth shut and didn't let my peers know my IQ was near 200, and kept my body thin and my face blank and smiling, that I could make everybody love me. Boys didn't date smart girls, just the pretty ones. I was pretty, or so they said, but nobody liked a "brain." Lots of first dates. Always. Not many second ones, though. I had to learn to SAY little, and STAY little.
But my body betrayed me and I began to suffer from my obsession with beauty and the requirements of being part of "the in crowd". I hadn't eaten in 39 days and had only drank Tab. I had been kicked out of cheer leading for falling down constantly and kicked off the basketball first string as a forward for passing out during a big game.
I went to sleep that day during a Sociology class and was given detention and kept after school. The only other person there in the empty classroom was a huge black football player named Louie. Integration was only during it's infancy at our small town high school and only about 30 blacks had been bussed to our school over a four year trial period. Louie was one of them. I didn't know him but had seen him on the football field.
So, dizzy from dehydration and no food, I went back to sleep in detention. The boy, Louie, woke me up by tapping my arm and he placed a cold canned Pepsi in front of me and a pack of cheese crackers that he had went and got for me from the vending machines next to the gym. He said he had noticed that I had lost some weight and asked me if I was sick or anything. I lied, of course, and said no. He started talking and asked me what was my favorite song right then and I said "I Wish It Would Rain." He grinned and said "Hey, you really like that kind of music? You like the Temps?" and then he began to sing the song for me. It was beautiful. He had a really good voice and even did a little Temps/Tops dance in the isle next to my desk.
Without realizing it, I had opened the Pepsi, and eaten two of the cheese crackers. Immediately I said excuse me, as he had finished the song, and started to go to the restroom, meaning to gag until I could upchuck the crackers and Pepsi. He must have somehow known, as he touched my arm very gently and said, "Don't keep killing yourself to please other people. You're the prettiest girl in this whole school, white or black. And remember, beauty is in the heart and soul, not just your body."
The bell rang and Louie opened the door for me and we both went home, going our separate ways.
Louie never said anything else to me at school and made no attempt to act like he even knew me or had ever spoken to me. But sometimes I would catch him looking at me in the halls and he always looked at me as if we shared a secret.
Although I didn't completely stop being anorexic for many years, I did go home and eat that day. I think if I hadn't, I would have most likely just passed away in my sleep some night.
I still love that song.
XD
