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New Eupehmisms for the PC

Discussion in 'Random Discussion' started by Hulk701, Feb 8, 2005.

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  1. Hulk701

    Hulk701 Banned Thread Starter

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2003
    Messages:
    2,581
    New Euphemisms for the Politically Correct:

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is
    "BREASTED AMERICAN."

    2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She IS "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

    3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY
    ACCESSIBLE."

    4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a
    "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
    INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

    5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is A
    "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

    6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY
    IMPAIRED."

    7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets
    "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

    8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is
    "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

    9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

    10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY
    EXTROVERTED."

    11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She Is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

    12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

    2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY
    CAUCASIAN."

    3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
    "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

    4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE
    REGRESSION."

    5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers
    "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

    6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He
    becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

    7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ***" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

    8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

    9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is
    "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

    10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

    11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his
    pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
     
  2. Omega_Shadow

    Omega_Shadow

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2004
    Messages:
    4,319
  3. coderitr

    coderitr

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2003
    Messages:
    3,015
    What part of that is funny?
     
  4. sle

    sle

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2004
    Messages:
    642
    Was I ever offended! . . . Until I saw there was tit-for-tat for the guys. ;) At least it's balanced. :D
     
  5. mach9

    mach9

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2004
    Messages:
    6,309
    Hulk:[​IMG]

    Coderitr:[​IMG]
     
  6. angelize56

    angelize56 Always remembered in our hearts

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2002
    Messages:
    82,163
    I need glasses...I thought it read euphenisms for the PG! ;) :D
     
  7. Stoner

    Stoner Banned

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2002
    Messages:
    44,931
    silly me :eek:
    I thought it was "euphemisms" for the personal computer :confused:



    Hi Sparky :D
     
  8. angelize56

    angelize56 Always remembered in our hearts

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2002
    Messages:
    82,163
    Hiya Smilin' Jack! :D
     
  9. coderitr

    coderitr

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2003
    Messages:
    3,015
     
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