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New Joke / Humor thread #6

Discussion in 'Thread Games & Arcade Discussion' started by LANMaster, Nov 1, 2007.

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  1. CrazyComputerMan

    CrazyComputerMan

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  2. Sharma7

    Sharma7

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  3. sepala

    sepala

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    I have seen the first add of this video because it was in our televisions at the period of introducing this chocolate, but I haven't seen the rest. All are really cool :D
     
  4. sepala

    sepala

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    At least a link? Hard to find a single unknown video through the whole youtube
     
  5. Farmgirl22

    Farmgirl22

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    Hun, you have the link in your quote, just copy/paste it in your browser bar. :)

    It's this: ...//www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4m9k0c_lgU
     
  6. lexmarks567

    lexmarks567

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    My girlfriend told me that if I got her one more stupid gift, she would burn it.

    So I got her a candle!
     
  7. lexmarks567

    lexmarks567

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    My girlfriend gave me three subtle hints about what she would like for her birthday:

    It begins with a 'D'
    It vibrates
    It's a girl's best friend

    I'm pretty certain I know exactly what she's getting at.

    A new dishwasher.
     
  8. lexmarks567

    lexmarks567

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    It was lucky that I went to see a fortune teller today.
    She warned me that somebody was going to swindle me.

    I was more than happy to pay for that kind of information.
     
  9. HOBOcs

    HOBOcs

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  10. Farmgirl22

    Farmgirl22

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    This one made me smile a bit. :)

     
  11. lexmarks567

    lexmarks567

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    A trucker came into a Truck Stop Cafe' and placed his order. He said I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.' The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards..... What does he think this place is an auto parts store?'

    'No,' the cook said. 'Three flat tires mean three pancakes; a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up; and a pair of running boards... Are 2 slices of crisp bacon!

    'Oh.... OK!' said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

    The trucker asked, 'What are the beans for, Blondie?'

    'She replied, 'I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!’
    FOR ONCE, THE BLONDE GETS EVEN !!!
     
  12. lexmarks567

    lexmarks567

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  13. Farmgirl22

    Farmgirl22

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  14. Farmgirl22

    Farmgirl22

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    Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive
    > double-pane energy-efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the
    > contractor who installed them.
    >
    > He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I
    > still hadn't paid for them. Hellloooo,............just because I'm blonde
    > doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.
    >
    > So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year,
    > that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!
    >
    > Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him.
    >
    There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung
    up.
    He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.
     
  15. lexmarks567

    lexmarks567

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    It's a slow day in the small town of Monticello and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.


    A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.



    As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.



    (Stay with this.....and pay attention)



    The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.

    The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.


    The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.

    The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel Owner.


    (Almost done...keep reading)



    The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.

    At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.

    No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town now thinks that they are out of debt and there is a false atmosphere of optimism and glee.


    And that, my friends, is how a "stimulus package" works!
     
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