# New Math

#### deh

MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay \$2 for a \$1 item he needs.
A woman will pay \$1 for a \$2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

#### BLUE66

A Woman's Prayer:

Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man
Love, To forgive him and
Patience, For his moods
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.

#### valley

oh...you are in such biiiig troooouble!

I'm telling my husband you called him dumb!

#### dannyboyfx

t=time
M=money
E=evil
G=girls

3 fact first

>t=m
>M=(E)^(1/2). The root of evil
>G=tM

Thus
G=M^2 money squared
Thus
M^2=E^(1/2)^2
OR
M^2=E
Thus
G=M^2=E
Thus
G=E

There it is mathematically proven. Girls are evil

Dont hurt me.

#### Attachments

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#### dannyboyfx

but it is math...

#### coderitr

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
You just described my life.

t=time
M=money
E=evil
G=girls

3 fact first

>t=m
>M=(E)^(1/2). The root of evil
>G=tM

Thus
G=M^2 money squared
Thus
M^2=E^(1/2)^2
OR
M^2=E
Thus
G=M^2=E
Thus
G=E

There it is mathematically proven. Girls are evil
I LOVE IT!!!

#### Schnitzu

The shortest sentence in the English language is "I am.". The longest is "I do.".

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