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New Math

Discussion in 'Random Discussion' started by deh, Apr 13, 2004.

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  1. deh

    deh Thread Starter

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2002
    Messages:
    7,809
    MATHEMATICS
    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


    OFFICE ARITHMETIC
    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


    SHOPPING MATH
    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    HAPPINESS
    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


    LONGEVITY
    Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


    MEMORY
    Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


    APPEARANCE
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
     
  2. BLUE66

    BLUE66

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2004
    Messages:
    617
    A Woman's Prayer:

    Dear Lord, I pray for:
    Wisdom, To understand a man
    Love, To forgive him and
    Patience, For his moods
    Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength
    I'll just beat him to death.
    :D
     
  3. valley

    valley

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2002
    Messages:
    19,134
    oh...you are in such biiiig troooouble! :D

    I'm telling my husband you called him dumb! :p
     
  4. dannyboyfx

    dannyboyfx

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2003
    Messages:
    1,074
    t=time
    M=money
    E=evil
    G=girls

    3 fact first

    >t=m
    >M=(E)^(1/2). The root of evil
    >G=tM

    Thus
    G=M^2 money squared
    Thus
    M^2=E^(1/2)^2
    OR
    M^2=E
    Thus
    G=M^2=E
    Thus
    G=E

    There it is mathematically proven. Girls are evil




    Dont hurt me. :D
     
  5. valley

    valley

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2002
    Messages:
    19,134
    come on...just a little slap, k?
     

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  6. dannyboyfx

    dannyboyfx

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2003
    Messages:
    1,074
    but it is math...
     
  7. coderitr

    coderitr

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2003
    Messages:
    3,015
    You just described my life.


    I LOVE IT!!! :D :D
     
  8. Schnitzu

    Schnitzu

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2003
    Messages:
    5,062
    The shortest sentence in the English language is "I am.". The longest is "I do.".
     
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