Protect yourself from attack!

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Shadow Bea

Thread Starter
Cherished forever in our hearts
Sep 9, 2002

Something to be aware of in these days with so many attacks happening. Outsmarting an Attacker....Very Interesting Information Through a rapist's eyes
A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
The first thing men look for in a potential victim is HAIRSTYLE. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
The second thing men look for is CLOTHING. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are OFF GUARD and can be easily overpowered.
The TIME of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m.
The number one PLACE women are abducted from/attacked at is Grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.
The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and QUICKLY move her to a SECOND LOCATION where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years. If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get DISCOURAGED because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
These men said they would not pick on women who have UMBRELLAS, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is Following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, LOOK THEM IN THE FACE and ask them a question, like "what time is it", or make general small talk, "I can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter". Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up, you lose appeal as a target.
If someone is coming toward you, HOLD OUT YOUR HANDS in front of
you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would NOT BE AFRAID TO FIGHT BACK. Again, they are looking for an EASY target If you carry PEPPER SPRAY (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
If someone grabs you, you can't beat him or her with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, PINCH the attacker either UNDER THE ARM between the elbow and armpit or in the upper INNER THIGH - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts. After the initial hit, ALWAYS GO FOR THE GROIN. I know that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and BEND THEM BACK as far as possible with as much PRESSURE pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly. Of course the things we always hear still apply.... Always be AWARE of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your, INSTINCTS. You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble. Please stay cautious and take care of yourselves.


Hello Bea,

That's very good advice Bea. I have to cycle to work in the early morning dark and these things are in the back of my mind. I often think I ought to carry something like a walking stick on my basket to "wallop" anyone. I really don't know where I would buy pepper spray. It's not something you see normally here.

Keep safe,


Shadow Bea

Thread Starter
Cherished forever in our hearts
Sep 9, 2002
Hi Penny,
Even if you did not really have pepper spray.. There are other things like perfume if sprayed in the eyes, could give you an edge. sometimes it is the threat
itself which is the deterrent

What prompted me to post this ..
Is the recent rash of rapes here in New York also there have been some attempted abductions as well.


I have lived in New York for many years and have never had a problem like that.
the one time it ALMOST happened I was living in a small "safe" City I was 18 years old and in school. I worked the night shift at a hotel as an elevator operator and went to classes every afternoon.
I lived in a downtown building that was a converted office building and my apartment had a frosted glass door and window facing the hall way and the elevator. The elevator was an old one. I got up one morning and ran downstairs to get a loaf of bread. When I came back a man followed me into the building and onto the elevator (it did not occur to me that anyone would want to hurt me) I asked him which floor? he didn't say anything.. So I pushed the button for my floor, and asked him again.. He just looked at me. it was really stating to creep me out! Then He lunged for me and I fought him. I tried to knee him in the groin
But I was kind of pinned up against the elevator door and he was ripping my blouse.. When the elevator opened I kind of fell out and ran for my door yelling.
I managed to get my door open (I had not locked it as I was just going downstairs. ) really stupid but in that case a good thing. To make a long story short I got away! He was never caught. but it taught me to always be aware.


:eek: Yikes Bea! Scary girl! I would have pooped purple twinkies... LOL
Glad you got away! :)
Sep 24, 2002
Hi guys , if you have to be in scary situations , get a 911 phone, Magnavox makes them, about $120.00

There is no service charge as all phone systems HAVE to answer a 911 call, the phones also have a 95db siren that is activated by touching a button, works on alkaline batteries. Might be worth a look...Rhett
Feb 17, 2001
good thread Bea.

very funny JG....pooped purple twinkies. lol

Last I checked, 1 in five women are rapped.

I've shared on this topic before, way back before most of you had joined TSG. But it's not something I'll rehash.

What I do know is that you fight. Now matter what, you fight. Not to mention make as much noise as you possibly can. The longer you can stay off the floor or away from being pinned the better. As as frightening as it can be, get a good look at them and remember so they can be caught.

Another good deterrent is hair-spray. It's cheap, they come in small bottles. Also, your keys. When out walking alone put your keys in-between your fingers. Makes for good blows if you need to protect yourself. Plus, it does help for everyone, not just women, to take even just one class of self defence. Always good to know how to protect yourself against a predator.
I'm lucky because, my Dad taught me how to "fight" when I was 9 and then later on in high-school I took a course in self defence. Without those, I think ... well I'd rather not.



Thanks for the tips everyone. The purfume or hairspray and the keys are good ideas.

That was very scary, Bea. A long time ago, I know, but these things remain with you always. Happy that you got away.

I do have a phobia of absolue darkness, but I make myself go out in the early morning as I have to get to work. There are lights at that time, but I am always pleased to arrive.

Keep safe,

Jan 29, 2003
unfortunately only about one third of these attacks happen between strangers... the other two thirds are by someone you know.

this type of crime disgusts me. my girlfriend in college was attacked by her highschool boyfriend... not gonna go into details, as they're not my details to tell, but it affected me profoundly...

she never reported it... her parents didn't even know...

he was really lucky that he lived so far away from me...


Jan 6, 2003
my wife was repeatedly raped by her father between the ages of 5 and 16.
One needn't wonder why she's having such a rough time quitting alcohol.
The psycological damage is no worse for an adult, just manifested differently.
I think rape prosecution should result in castration with a rusty knife.
Rape of a child should warrant the death penalty, or at least life behind bars.

Shadow Bea

Thread Starter
Cherished forever in our hearts
Sep 9, 2002
When In Doubt About the Cop Trying to Pull You Over, Drive to Safety or Call #77 on Your Cell Phone-

Summary of the eRumor
The story of a young college woman who was suspicious about an unmarked patrol car attempting to pull her over._ She remembered her parents' advice to proceed to a safe or populated place before stopping and also contacted the authorities on her cell by by using #77._ Other patrol cars were sent to her location, the person in the unmarked car was arrested and turned out to be a convicted rapist.__

The Truth
Whether this particular story is real, we don't know, but the information it conveys is apparently sound.

if you are suspicious about a patrol car wanting to pull you over, especially in an isolated area or at night, it's prudent to proceed to a place where would feel safer._ The problem is that the law says you are to obey an officer who says to pull over so if you do decide to continue, do so in a way that makes it clear you are not trying to evade him or her._ If you have a cell phone, call your local emergency number, usually 911, and you can be connected to a dispatcher who can help decide whether the car attempting to pull you over is legitimate._ Also, as happens in this eRumor, you can inform the dispatcher that it is your intention to comply, but only after you get to the next off ramp, gas station, populated areas, etc.

_ Even though 911 is the most common number to use in an emergency, there are many states that have established other numbers as well for cell phone users, especially to report highway emergencies.__ The #77 number is one of them._ Some states use *77 or even #55. Find out which one applies in your State or Provence._ One of the reasons, according to a cell company we spoke with, is that the 911 calls from a cell phone go to different kinds of agencies depending on where the phone call is being made._ In some areas, dialing 911 on a cell phone may go to a city or county emergency dispatcher._ In other_ areas, the call may go to a state highway law enforcement agency such as the highway patrol or state troopers._ In the states with the "77" numbers, cell phone users will usually get connected directly with a highway law enforcement agency._ For that reason, you will frequently see signs posted along some freeways, expressways, or toll ways suggesting use of a number other than 911 if you're using a cell phone.

_ I never even knew about this #77 feature!
__ This actually happened to one of my dearest
__ new friend's daughter.
__ Her daughter, Lauren, is 19yrs old and a
__ sophomore in college. This
_ happened to her over the Christmas/New Year's
__ holiday break. It was the
_ Saturday before New Year's and it was about 1PM in
__ the afternoon. Lauren
_ was driving from here, Winchester, to visit a
__ friend in Warrenton. For
_ those of you who are familiar with the area, she
_ was taking50 East towards
_ Middleburg and then was going to cut over to 66 via
_ 17.Those of you who
_ aren't familiar with this area - 50 East is a main
_ road (55mph and two
_ lanes each side with a big median separating East
_ and West lanes), but is
_ somewhat secluded, meaning mostly residents along
_ the road, rather than
__ commercial businesses. Lauren was actually
_ following behind a state police
_ car shortly after she left Winchester and was going
_ just over 65mph since
_ she was following behind him.
__ An UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her
_ and put his lights on. My
_ friend and her husband have 4 children (highschool
_ and college age) and
_ have always told them never to pull over for an
_ unmarked car on the side of
_ the road, but rather wait until they get to a gas
__ station, etc. So Lauren
_ had actually listened to her parents advice, and
_ promptly called #77 on her
_ cell phone to tell the dispatcher that she would
_ not pull over right away.
_ She proceeded to tell the dispatcher that there
_ were 2 police cars, one
_ unmarked behind her and one marked in front of her.
_ The dispatcher checked
__ if there were 2 police cars where she was. There
_ wasn't and she was
_ connected to the policeman in front of her and he
_ told her to keep driving,
_ remain calm and that he had back-up already on the
__ way.Ten mins later 4
_ cop cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind
__ her.One policeman went
_ to her side and the others surrounded the car
__ behind.They pulled the guy
_ from the car and tackled him to the
_ ground..........the man was a convicted
_ rapist and wanted for other crimes.
__ Thank God Lauren listened to her parents! She
_ was shaken up, but
__ fine. I never knew that bit of advice, but
_ especially for a woman alone in
_ a car, you should not pull over for an unmarked car
__ in a secluded area. In
_ fact, even a marked car after dark should follow
__ you to a populated area.
_ Apparently police have to respect your right to
_ keep going to
__ a"safe" place. You obviously need to make some
_ signals that you acknowledge
_ them (i.e. put on your hazard lights) or call #77
__ like Lauren did. I am so
_ thankful that my friend was just sitting at our
_ book club meeting telling
_ us this scary story, rather than us at her house
_ consoling her!
_ Be safe and pass this on to your friends.
_ Awareness is everything!
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