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punny

Discussion in 'Random Discussion' started by 700mb80min, Oct 9, 2003.

  1. 700mb80min

    700mb80min Banned Thread Starter

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2003
    Messages:
    2,025
    Subject: So bad they are good....


    1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
    The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one
    carrion allowed per passenger."

    2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
    says "Dam!"

    3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so lit a fire in the
    craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
    your kayak and heat it too.

    4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The
    other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."


    5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
    canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

    6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
    in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
    an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to
    disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he
    said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

    7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
    to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family
    in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
    himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
    husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
    responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

    8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened
    up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy
    flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the
    competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but
    they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They
    ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest
    and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat
    up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they
    didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that
    Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

    9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
    which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
    very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he
    suffered from bad breath. This made him ....(Oh, man, this is so bad,
    it's good).....A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. .


    10. Not laughing then no pun in ten did!
     
  2. beefy

    beefy

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2002
    Messages:
    441
  3. lisaa7002

    lisaa7002

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,258
    lmao! #9!!!
     
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