school test answers

dvk01

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SAT Answers

The following questions and answers were collected from SAT's (Scholastic Aptitude Test) given to 16-year-old students in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000!

Q - Name the four seasons.
A - Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q - Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A - Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removeslarge pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q - How is dew formed?
A - The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q - What is a planet?
A - A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q - What causes the tides in the oceans?
A - The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q - In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A - Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q - What happens to your body as you age?
A - When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q - Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A - Premature death.

Q - How can you delay milk turning sour?
A - Keep it in the cow.

Q - How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A - The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.

Q - What is the Fibula?
A - A small lie.

Q - What does "varicose" mean?
A - Nearby.

Q - What is the most common form of birth control?
A - Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q - Give the meaning of the term "Cesarean Section."
A - The cesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q - What is a seizure?
A - A Roman emperor.

Q - What is a terminal illness?
A - When you are sick at the airport.

Q - What does the word "benign" mean?
A - Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
 

dvk01

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Mind you it could have come from any school in any of the English speaking countries especially some of the inner London Schools
 

dvk01

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Originally posted by Moby:
They have schools in London? :confused:
Wow!
;)
at times I have my doubts whether they are schools or what cos the kids don't learn anything useful except how to mug & steal or so it seems
 

dvk01

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I wonder what answers GW (dumbo) Bush would give to some of the questions.
 
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Originally posted by dvk01:
at times I have my doubts whether they are schools or what cos the kids don't learn anything useful except how to mug & steal or so it seems
Is it any wonder.....

Odd Signs from England

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all
your clothes when the light goes out.

2. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

3. IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday
please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

4. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the
teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

5. ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this
door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use
side entrance)

6. OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing
machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

7. QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be
drowned. By order of the District Council.

8. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garmentshere
for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

9. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

10. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

11. SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't
know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

12. NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the
field for free, but the bull charges.

13. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will
tell you how to get lessons.

14. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard
on the door - the bell doesn't work)

15. SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order.
Please use floor below.
 

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