Solved: firewall windows xp home edition SP2

I have read the stuff about the firewall and there are still a couple of things I can't get right. FIRST--I have another xp home editon computer hooked to this one with a crossover cable for my home network. I have had this network for along time. Since I goofed and had automatic updates on it loaded SP2 on this computer (the host). When I have the firewall on it blocks my network, if I turn it off I can get through. I have read the stuff about adding things and if you can;'t find it to browse and then add it to the exception list. Well I browsed and found the network mshome and my second computer but for the life of me I can't get it added to the exception list. I have clicked and double clicked and added and I can't get it on the list. Also when you read about the firewall it says there should be a security box pop up when sometning tries to connect to the host computer or through the host to the internet. I wanted it to come up when I tried to connect with the other computer through this one then I could just say not to block it, but the security box never comes up, I have never seen it. It should come up and have three buttons saying blocked unblock and something else, it has never came up on my computer, can someone help me to get my network working with the firewall on cause I hate to run it without a firewall for security reasons, I also have zonealarm but I turn it off cause it won't let the network work with it on either, please help.